00047 THE FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM BERGAN EVANS ON NORBERT WEINER, NUCLEAR PHYSICIST The s

00047 THE FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM BERGAN EVANS ON NORBERT WEINER, NUCLEAR PHYSICIST The second concept Weiner has to establish is that of entropy. Probability is a mathematical concept, from statistics. Entropy comes from physics. It is the assertation -- established logically and exper- imentally-- that the universe, by its nature, is "run- ning down", moving toward a state of inert uniformity devoid of form, matter, hierarchy or differentation. That is, in any given situation, less organization, more chaos, is overwhelmingly more probabale than tighter organization or more order. The tendency for entropy to increase in isolated systems is expressed in the second law of thermo- dynamics--perhaps the most pessimistic and amoral formulation in all human thought. It applies however, to a closed system, to some- thing that is an isolated whole, not just a part. Within such systems there may be parts, which draw their energy from the whole, that are moving at least temporarily, in the opposite direction; in them order is increasing and chaos is diminishing. The whirlpools that swirl in a direction opposed to the main current are called "enclaves". And one of them is life, especially human life, which in a universe moving inexorably towards chaos moves to- ward increased order. Personal PLANETARY PI, which I discovered, is 61. It's a Time-Energy relationship existing between sun and inner plants and I use it in arriving at many facts unknown to science.For example, multiply nude earth's circumference 24, 902.20656 by 61 and you get the distance of moon's orbit around the earth. this is slightly less than actual distance because we have not yet considered earth's atmosphere. So be it. Christopher Garth, Evanston. "I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A PLUMBER." -Albert Einstein IF THE TELEPHONE RINGS TODAY... WATER IT ! -Rev. Thomas, Gnostic N.Y.C. Cabal _________________________________ "GRASSHOPPER ALWAYS WRONG IN ARGUMENT WITH CHICKEN" - Book of Chan compiled by O.P.U. sect = ZARATHUD'S ENLIGHTENMENT = Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly grazing. "Tell me, you dumb beast," demanded the Priest in his commanding voice, "why don't you do something worthwhile. What is your Purpose in Life, anyway?" Munching the tasty grass, The Sacred Chao replied"MU".* Upon hearing this, absolutely nobody was enlightened. Primarily because nobody could understand Chinese. * "Mu" is the Chinese ideogram for NO-THING. TAO FA TSU-DAN WORDS OF WISDOM FIND PEACE WITH A CONTENTED CHAO 00048 ______________________ THE SACRED CHAO The SACRED CHAO is the key to illumin- ation. Devised by the Apostle Hung Mung in Ancient China, it was modified and popularized by the Taoists and is sometimes called the YIN-YANG. The Sacred Chao is not the Yin-Yang of the Taoists. It is the HODGE-PODGE of the Erisians. And, instead of a Podge spot on the Hodge side, it has a PENTAGON which symbolizes the ANERISTIC PRINCIPLE, and instead of a Hodge spot on the Podge side, it depicts the GOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORDIA to symbolize the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE. The Sacred Chao synbolizes absolutely everything any- one need ever know about absolutely anything, and more! It even symbolizes everything not worth knoe- ing, depicted by the empty space surrounding the Hodge-Podge. HERE FOLLOWS SOME PSYCHO-METAPHYSICS If you are not hot for philosophy, best just skip it. The Aneristic Principle is that of APPARENT ORDER; the Eristic Principle is that of APPARENT DISORDER. Both order and disorder are man made concepts and are artificial divisions of PURE CHAOS, which is a level deeper than is the level of distinction making. With our concept making apparatus called "mind" we look at reality through the ideas-about-reality which our cultures give us. The ideas-about-reality are mistakenly labeled "reality" and unenlightened people are forever perplexed by the fact that other people, especially other cultures, see "reality" differently. It is only the ideas0about-reality which differ. Real (capital-T True) reality is a level deeper than is the level of concept. We look at the world through windows on which have been drawn grids (concepts). Different philosophies use different grids. A culture is a group of people 00049 ____________________ -2- with rather similar grids. Through a window we view chaos, and relate it to the points on our grid, and thereby understand it. The ORDER is in the GRID. That is the Aneristic Principle. Western philosophy is traditionally concerned with contrasting one grid with another grid, and amending grids in hopes of finding a perfect one that will account for all reality and will, hence, (say unen- lightened westerners) be True. This is illusory; it is what we Erisians call the ANERISTIC ILLUSION. Some grids can be more useful than others, some more beautiful than others, some more pleasant than others, etc., but none can be more True than any other. DISORDER is simply unrelated information viewed through some particular grid. But, like "relation", no-relation is a concept. Male. like female, is an idea about sex. To say that male-ness is "absence of female-ness", or vice versa, is a matter of definition and metaphysically arbitrary. The artificial concept of no-relation is the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE. The belief that "order is true" and disorder is false or somehow wrong, is the Aneristic Illusion. To say the same of disorder, is the ERISTIC ILLUSION. The point is that (little-t) truth is a matter of definition relative to the grid one is using at the moment, and that (capital-T) Truth, metaphysical re- ality, is irrelevant to grids entirely. Pick a grid, and through it some chaos appears ordered and some appears disordered. Pick another grid, and the same chaos will appear differently ordered and disordered. Reality is the original Rorschach. Verily! So much for all that. The Words of the Foolish and those of the Wise Are not far apart in Discordian Eyes. (HBT; The Book of Advice, 2:1) 00050 ____________________ -3- The PODGE of the Sacred Chao is symbolized as The Golden Apple of Discordia, which represents the Eris- tic Principle of Disorder. The writing on it, "KALLISTI" is Greek for "TO THE PRETTIEST ONE" and refers to an old myth about the Goddess. But the Greeks had only a limited understanding of Disorder, and thought it to be a negative principle. The Pentagon represents the Aneristic Principle of Order and symbolizes the HODGE. The Pentagon has several ref- erences; for one, it can be taken to represent geometry, one of the earliest studies of formal order to reach elab- orate development;* for another, it specifically accords with the LAW OF FIVES. * The Greek geometrician PYTHAGORAS, however, was not a typical aneristic personality. He was what we call an EXPLODED ANERISTIC and a AVATAR. We call him Archangle Pythagoras. THE TRUTH IS FIVE BUT MEN HAVE ONLY ONE NAME FOR IT. Patamunzo Lingananda It also is the shape of the United States Military Headquarters, the Pentagon Building, a most pregnant manifestation of straitjacket order resting on a firm foundation of chaos and constantly erupting into dazzeling disorder; and this building is one of our more cherished Erisian Shrines. Also it so happens that in times of medieval magic, the pentagon was the generic symbol for werewolves, but this reference is not particularily intended and it should be noted that the Erisian Movement does not discriminate against werewolves -- our membership roster is open to persons of all races, national origins and hobbies. 00051 _______________________________________ [Picture of Hodge/Podge Transformer - beyond words] 28 DAY RECORDING 5. Hung Mung slapped his buttocks, hopped about, and shook his head, saying, "I do not know! I do not know!" HBT; The Book of Gooks, Chap. 1 00052 ________________ BRUNSWICK SHRINE In the Los Angeles suburb of Whittier there lives a bowling alley, and within this very place, in the Year of Our Lady of Discord 3125 (1959*), Eris reveal- ed Herself to The Golden Apple Corps for the first time. In honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is revered as a Shrine by all Erisians. Once every five years, the Golden Apple Corps plans a pilgrimage to Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and therein to partake of No Hot Dog Buns, and ruminate a bit about it All. It is written that when The Corps returns to The Shrine for the fifth time five times over, then shall the world come to an end: IMPENDING DOOM HAS ARRIVED And Five Days Prior to This Occasion The Apostle The Elder Malaclypse Shall Walk the Streets od Whittier Bearing a Sign for All Literates to Read thereof: "DOOM", as a Warning of Forthcoming Doom to All Men Impending. And He Shall Sig- nal This Event by Seeking the Poor and Distributing to Them Precious MAO BUTTONS and Whittier Shall be Known as The Region of Thud for These Five Days. As a public service to all mankind and civilization in general, and to us in particular, the Golden Ap- ple Corps has concluded that planning such a Pil- grimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to never get around to actually going. * Or maybe it was 1958, I forget. Quiet night, c/o 00053 ________________ STARBUCK'S PEBBLES Which is Real? * * * * * Do these 5 pebbles really form a pentagon? Those biased by the Aneristic Illusion would say yes. Those biased by the Eristic Illusion would say no. Criss-cross them and it is a star. An Illuminated Mind can see all of these, yet he does not insist that any one is really true, or that none at all is true. Stars, and pentagons, and disorder are all his own creations, and he may do with them as he wishes. Indeed, even so the concept of the number 5. The real reality is there, but everything you know about "it" is in your mind and yours to do with as you like. Conceptual- ization is art, and YOU ARE THE ARTIST. Convictions cause convicts. Can you chart the COURSE to Captain Valentine's SWEETHEART? HEMLOCK? I NEVER TOUCH THE STUFF! 00054 When I was 8 or 9 years, I acquired a split beaver magazine. You can imagine my disappointment when, upon examination of the photos with a microscope, I found that all I could see was dots. 7. Never write in pencil unless you are on a train or sick in bed. ERIS CONTEMPLATES FOR 3125 YEARS Pun-job is Sihk, Sihk, Sihk! THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTICHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE) A Non-prophet irreligious disorganization MALACLYPSE The Younger, KSC Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold HIGH PRIEST THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT HOUSE OF APOSTLES OF ERIS (x) Official Business ( ) Surreptitious Business Page 1 of 1 pages Official Discordian Number (if applicable) n/a ( ) The Golden Apple Corps (x) House of Disciples of Discordia: The Bureaucracy, Bureau of : DOGMAS ( ) Council of Episkoposes: Office of High Priesthood, Sect of POEE ( ) Drawer 0 Today's Date: Day of the Carrot Yesterday's Date : yes Originating CABAL: JOSHUA NORTON CABAL - San Francisco TO: REV. RAMPANT PANCREAS, tRRoCR(m)pttm; Colorado Encrustation Brother Ram, Your acute observation that ERIS spelled backwards is SIRE, and your inference to the effect that there is sexual symbolism here, have brought me to some observations of my own. ERIS spelled fore-part-aft-wards is RISE. And spelled inside out is REIS, which is a unit of money, albeit Portugese-Brazilian and no longer in use. From this it may be concluded that ERIS has usurped Eros (god of erotic love) in the eyes of those who read backwards; which obviously made Eros sorE. Then She apparently embezzeled the Olympian Treasuryand went to Brazil; whereupon She opened a chain of whorehouses (which certainly would get a rise from the male population). I figure it to be this in particular because MADAM reads the same forward and backwards. And further, it is a term of great respect, similar to SIRE. And so thank you for your insight, it may well be the clue to the mystery of just where Eris has been f***ing around for 3125 years. FIVE TONS OF FLAX: Mal2 NOT FOR CIRCULATION KALLISTI**HAIL ERIS**ALL HAIL DISCORDIA Safeguard this Letter; it may be an IMPORTANT DOCUMENT Form No: O.D.D. IIb/ii .1-37D. VVM 3134 DOGMA III - HISTORY #2, "COSMOGONY" which is not the same as DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY" (Book of Uterus) In the beginning there was VOID, who had two daughters; one being (the smaller) was that of BEING, named ERIS, and one (the larger) was of NON-BEING, named ANERIS. (To this day, the fundamental truth that Aneris is the larger is apparent to all who compare the number of things that do not exist with the comparatively small number of things that do exist. Eris had been born pregnant, and after 55 years (Goddesses have an unusually long gestation period -- longer even than elephants), Her pregnancy bore the fruits of many things. These things were composed of the Five Basic Elements, SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE and ORANGE. Aneris, however, had been created sterile. When she saw Eris enjoying Herself so greatly with all the existent things She had borne, Aneris became jealous and finally one day she stole some existent things and changed them into non-existent things and claimed them as her own children. This deeply hurt Eris, who felt that Her sister was unjust (being so much larger anyway) to deny Her her small joy. And so She made Herself swell again to bear more things. And She swore that no matter how many of her begotten that Aneris wouls steal, She would beget more. And in return, Aneris swore that no matter how many existent things Eris brought forth, she would eventually find them and turn them into non-existent things for her own. (And to this day, things appear and disappear in this very manner.) 00056 _________________________________ At first, the things brought forth by Eris were in a state of chaos and went in every which way, but by the by She began playing with them and ordered some of them just to see what would happen. Some pretty things arose from this play and for the next five zillion years She amused Herself by creating order. And so She grouped some things with others and some groups with others, and some big groups with little groups, and all combinations until She had many grand schemes which delighted her. Engrossed in establishing order, She finally one day noticed disorder (previously not apparent because everything was chaos). There were many ways in which chaos was ordered and many ways in which it was not. "Hah," She thought, "here shall be a new game." And she taught order and disorder to play with each other in contest games, and to take turns amusing each other. She named the side of disorder after Herself, "ERISTIC" because Being is Anarchic. And then, in a mood of sympathy for her lonely sister, She named the other side "ANERISTIC" which flattered Aneris and smoothed the friction a little that was between them. Now all of this time Void was somewhat disturbed. He felt unsatisfied for he had created only physical existence and physical non-existence, and had neglected the spiritual. As he contemplated this, a great Quiet was caused and he went into a state of Deep Sleep which lasted for 5 eras. At the end of this ordeal, he begat a brother to Eris and Aneris, that of SPIRITUALITY, who had no name at all. 00057 When the Sisters heard this, they both confonted Void and pleaded that he not forget them, his First Born. And so Void decreed thus: That this brother, having no form, was to reside with Aneris in Non-Being and then to leave her and, so that he might play with order and disorder, reside with Eris in Being. But Eris became filled with sorrow when She heard this and then began to weep. "Why are you despondent?" demanded Void, "Your new brother will have his share with you." "But Father, Aneris and I have been arguing, and she will take him from me when she discovers him, and cause him to return to Non-Being." "I see," replied Void, "Then I decree the following: When your brother leaves the residence of Being, he shall not reside again in Non-Being, but shall return to Me, Void, from whence he came. You girls may bicker as you wish, but My son is your Brother and We are all of Myself." And so it is that we, as men, do not exist until we do; and then it is that we play with our world of existent things, and order them and disorder them, and so it shall be that non-existence shall take us back from existence and that nameless spirituality shall return to void, like a tired child home from a very wild circus. "Everything is true - Everything is permissible!" - Hassan i Sabbah Picture of Sri Syadasti There is serenity in Chaos. Seek ye the Eye of the Hurricane. A POEE MYSTEREE RITE - THE SRI SYADASTI CHANT Written, in some sense, by Mal-2 Unlike a song, chants are not sung but chanted. This particular one is much enhanced by the use of a Leader to chant the Sanskrit alone, with all participants chanting the English. It also behooves one to be in a quiet frame of mind and to be sitting in a still position, perhaps The Buttercup Position. It also helps if one is absolutely zonked out of his gourd. RUB-A-DUB-DUB O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Hung Mung. SYA-DASTI O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Mo-jo. SYA-DAVAK-TAVYA O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Zara-thud. SYA-DASTI SYA-NASTI O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Elder Mal. SYA-DASTI KAVAK-TAV-YASKA O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Gu-lik SYA-DASTI, SYA-NASTI, SYA-DAVAK-TAV-YASKA O! Hail Eris. All Hail Discordia. RUB-A-DUB-DUB It is then repeated indefinitely, or for the first two thousand miles, which ever comes first. 00059 _____________________________________ 00060 THE CLASSIFICATION OF SAINTS 1. SAINT SECOND CLASS To be reserved for all human beings deserving of Sainthood. Example: St. Norton the First, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico (his grave near San Francisco is an official POEE Shrine.) THE FOLLOWING FOUR CATEGORIES ARE RESERVED FOR FICTIONAL BEINGS WHO, NOT BEING ACTUAL, ARE MORE CAPABLE OF PERFECTION. 2. LANCE SAINT Good Saint material and definitely inspiring. Example: St Yossarian ("Catch 22", Heller) 3. LIEUTENANT SAINT Excellent Goddess-saturated Saint. Example: St. Quixote ("Don Quixote", Cervantes) 4. BRIGADIER SAINT Comparable to Lt/Saint but has an established following (fictional or factual). Example: St. Bokonon ("Cat's Cradle", Vonnegut) 4. FIVE STAR SAINT The Five Apostles of Eris. NOTE: It is an Old Erisian Tradition to never agree with each other about Saints. Everybody understands Mickey Mouse. Few understand Herman Hesse. Only a handfull understood Albert Einstein. And nobody understood Emperor Norton. Slogan of NORTON CABAL - S.F. Tests By Doctors Prove It Possible To Shrink =ON OCCULTISM= Magicians, especially since the Gnostic and the Quabala influences, have sought higher consciousness through the assimilation and control of universal opposites -- good/evil, positive/negative, male/female, etc. But due to the steadfast pomposity of ritual- ism inherited from the ancient methods of the shaman, occultists have been blinded to what is perhaps the two most important pairs of apparent or earth-plane opposites: ORDER/DISORDER and SERIOUS/HUMOROUS. Magicians, and their progeny the scientists, have always taken themselves and their subject in an orderly and sober manner, thereby disregarding an essential metaphysical balance. When magicians learn to approach philosophy as a mallable art in- stead of an immutable Truth, and learn to appreciate the absurdity of man's endeavors, then they will be able to persue their art with a lighter heart, and perhaps gain a clearer understanding of it, and therefore gain more effective magic. CHAOS IS ENERGY. This is an essential challenge to the basic concepts of all western occult thought, and POEE is hum- bly pleased to offer the first major breakthrough in occult- ism since Solomon. "Study Demonology With An Enemy This Sunday" sez Thom, Gnos 00061 ________________ POEE ASTROLOGICAL SYSTEM 1) On your next birthday, return to the place of your birth and, at precisely midnight, noting your birth time and the date of observation, count all visible stars. 2) When you have done this, write to me ans I'll tell you what to do next. [picture of snowflake with five points] LOOK FOR THIS SNOWFLAKE - IT HAS MAGIC PROPERTIES The theorem to be proved is that if any even number of people take seats at random around a circular table bearing place cards with their names, it is al- ways possible to rotate the table until at least two people are opposite their cards. Assume the contrary. Let n be the even number of persons, and let their names be replaced by the integers 0 to n-1 "in such a way that the place cards are numbered in sequence around the table. If a delegate d originally sits down to a place card p, then the table must be rotated r steps before he is cor- rectly seated, where r = p-d, unless this is negative, in which case r = p-d+n. The collection of values of d (and of p) for all delegates is clearly the integers 0 to n-1, each taken once, but so also is the collection of values of r, or else two delegates would be cor- rectly seated at the same time. Sum- ming the above equations, one for each delegate, gives S-S +nk, where k is an integer and S=n(n-1)/2, the sum of the integers from 0 to n-1. It fol- lows that n = 2k+1, an odd number." This contradicts the original assump- tion. "I actually solved this problem some years ago," Rybicki writes, "for a differ- ent but completely equivalent problem, a generalization of the nonattacking 'eight queens' problem for a cylindri- cal chessboard where diagonal attack is restricted to diagonals slanting in one direction only. THE EMINENT 16TH CENTURY MATH- EMETICIAN CARDAN SO DETESTED LUTHER THAT HE ALTERED LUTHER'S BIRTHDATE TO GIVE HIM AN UN- FAVORABLE HOROSCOPE. 00062 ________________ THE CURSE OF GREYFACE AND THE INTRODUCTION OF NEGATIVISM To choose order over disorder, or disorder over order, is to accept a trip composed of both the cre- ative and the destructive. But to choose the creative over the destructive is an all-creative trip composed of both order and disorder. To accomplish this, one need only accept creative disorder along with, and equal to, creative order, and also be willing to re- ject destructive order as an undesirable equal to de- structive disorder. The Curse of Greyface included the division of life into order/disorder as the essential positive/ negative polarity, instead of building the game found- ation with creative/destructive as the essential positive/negative. He has thereby caused man to en- dure the destructive aspects of order and has prevent- ed man from effectively participating in the creative uses of disorder. Civilization reflects the unfor- tunate division. [Picture of square made up of four smaller congruent squares; top left square is creative order, top right is creative disorder, bottom left is destructive order and bottom right is destructive disorder. ] POEE proclaims that the other division is preferable, and we work toward the proposition that creative disorder, like creative order, is possible and desirable; and that de- structive order, like destructive disorder, is unnecessary and unde- sirable. Seek the Sacred Chao - therein you will find the foolishness of all ORDER/DISORDER. The are the same! [picture of Egyptian heiroglyphs - translation not available] 00063 _________________ ERISIAN MAGIC RITUAL - THE TURKEY CURSE Revealed by the Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo as a specific counter to the evil Curse of Greyface. The TURKEY CURSE is here passed on to Erisians everywhere for their just protection. The Turkey Curse works. It is firmly grounded on the fact that Greyface and his followers absolutely require an aneristic setting to function and that a timely in- troduction of eristic vibrations will neutralize their foundation. The Turkey Curse is designed solely to counteract negative aneristic vibes and if introduced into a neutral or positive setting (like a poet working out word rhythms) it will prove harmless, or at worst, simply annoying. It is not designed for use against negative eristic vibes, although it can be used as an eristic vehicle to introduce positive vibes into a misguided eristic setting. In this instance, it would be the responsibility of the Erisian Magician to manufacture the positive vibrations if results are to be achieved. CAUTION - all magic is powerful and requires courage and integrity on the partof the ma- gician. This ritual, if misused, can backfire. Pos- itive motivation is essential for self-protection. TO PERFORM THE TURKEY CURSE: Take a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan preparing for fisticuffs. Face the particular grey- face you wish to short-circuit, or towards the direct- ion of the negative aneristic vibration that you wish neutralize. Begin waving your arms in any elaborate manner and make motions with your hands as though you were Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess. Chant, loudly and clearly: GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE The results will be instantly apparent. 00064 A PRIMER FOR ERISIAN EVANGELISTS by Lord Omar The SOCRATIC APPROACH is most successful when confronting the ignorant. The "socratic approach" is what you call starting an argument by asking questions. You approach the innocent and simply ask "Did you know that God's name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?" If he should answer "Yes." then he is probably a fellow Erisian and so you can forget it. If he says "No." then quickly proceed to: THE BLIND ASSERTION and say "Well, He is a girl, and His name is ERIS!" Shrewdly observe if the sub- ject is convinced. If he is, swear him into the Legion of Dynamic Discord before he changes his mind. If he does not appear convinced, then proceed to: THE FAITH BIT: "But you must have Faith! All is lost without Faith! I sure feel sorry for you if you don't have Faith." And then add: THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR and in an ominous voice ask "Do you know what happens to those who deny Goddess?" If he hesitates, don't tell him that he will surely be reincarnated as a precious Mao Button and distrib- uted to the poor in the Region of Thud (which would be a mean thing to say), just shake your head sadly and, while wiping a tear from your eye, go to: THE FIRST CLAUSE PLOY wherein you point to all of the discord and confusion in the world and exclaim "Well who the hell do you think did all of this, wise guy?" If he answers, "Nobody, just impersonal forces." then quickly respond with: THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS and say that he is absolutely right, and that those imperson- al forces are female and that Her name is ERIS. If he, wonder of wonders, still remains obstinate, then finally resort to: THE FIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE and confide that sophisticated people like himself recognize that Eris is a Figurative Symbol for an Ineffable Metaphysical Reality and that The Erisian Movement is really more like a poem than like a science and that he is liable to be turned into a Precious Mao Button and Distrib- uted to the Poor in the Region of Thud if he does not get hip. Then put him on your mailing list. 00065 00066 SINK A GAME by Ala Hera, E.L., N.S.; RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS SINK is played by Discordians and people of much ilk. PURPOSE: To sink object or an object or a thing... in water or mud or anything you; can sink something in. RULES: Sinking is allowd in any manner. To date, ten pound chunks of mud were used to sink a tobacco can. It is preferable to have a pit of water or hole to drop things in. But rivers - bays - gulfs - I dare say even oceans can be used. TURNS are taken thusly: who somever gets the junk up and in the air first. DUTY: It shall be the duty of all persons playing "SINK" to help find more objects to sink, once; one object is sunk. UPON SINKING: The sinked shall yell "I sank it!" or something equally as thoughtful. NAMING OF OBJECTS is some times desirable. The object is named by the finder of such object and whoever sinks it can say for instance, "I sunk Columbus, Ohio." "IN A WAY WE'RE KIND OF A PEACE CORPS." -MAJ. A. LINCOLN GERMAN, TRAINING DIRECTOR OF THE GREEN BERET SPECIAL WARFARE SCHOOL, FT. BRAGG, N.C. JOINT EFFORT OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY Post Office Liberation Front EXPORT LICENSE NOT REQUIRED THIS IS A CHAIN LETTER. WITHIN THE NEXT FIFTY-FIVE DAYS YOU WILL RECEIVE THIRTY-ELEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS OF CHAINS! In the meantime - plant your seeds. If a lot of people who receive this letter plant a few seeds and a lot of people receive this letter, then a lot of seeds will get planted. Plant your seeds. In parks. On lots. Public flower beds. In remote places. At City Hall. Wherever. Whenever. Or start a plantation in your closet (but read up on it first for that). For casual planting, its best to soak them in water for a day and plant in a bunch of about 5, about half an inch deep. Don't worry much about weather, they know when the weather is wrong and will try to wait for nature. Don't soak them if its wintertime. Seeds are a very hearty life form and strongly desire to grow and flourish. But some of them need people's help to get started. Plant your seeds. Make a few copies of this letter (5 would be nice) and send them to friends of yours. Try to mail to different cities and states, even different countries. If you would rather not, then please pass thid copy on to someone and perhaps they would like to. THERE IS NO TRUTH to the legend that if you throw away a chain letter then all sorts of catastrophic, abominable, and outrageous disasters will happen. Except, of course, from your seed's point of view. 00067 00068 Q. "How come a woodpecker doesn't bash its brains out?" A. Nobody has ever explained that. AVATARS (MUNDANE) ERISIAN ERISTIC ANERISTIC MISC. 5TH COLUMN 1A 1B 1C 1D 1E EXPLODED 2A 2B 2C 2D 2E EXPANDED 3A 3B 3C 3D 3E CONSCIENTIOUS 4A 4B 4C 4D 4E CONSCIOUS 5A 5B 5C 5D 5E UNCONSCIOUS HOLY [Picture of little girl named Mary Jane saying "PLANT YOUR SEEDS." and standing on "KEEP PRICES DOWN" "and God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of the earth... to you it shall be for meat. " Genesis 1:29 Questions Have a friendly class talk. Permit each child to tell any part of the unit on "Courtesy in the Corridors and on the Stairs" that he enjoyed. Name some causes of disturbance in your school. Executed 00069 Chapter 1, THE EPISTLE TO THE PARANOIDS --Lord Omar 1. Ye have locked yerselves up in cages of fear--and, behold, do ye now complain that ye lack FREEDOM! 2. Ye have cast out yer brothers for devils and now complain ye, lamenting, that ye've been left to fight alone. 3. All Chaos was once yer kingdom; verily, held ye dominion over the entire Pentaverse, but today ye wax sore afraid in dark corners, nooks and sink holes. 4. O how the darknesses do crowd up, one against the other, in ye hearts! What fear ye more that what ye have wroughten? 5. Verily, verily I say unto you, not all the Sinister Ministers of the Bavarian Illuminati, working together in multitudes, could so entwine the land with tri- bulation as have yer baseless warnings. DESPITE string evidence to the contrary, persistant rumor has it that it was Mr. Momomoto's brother who swallowed Mr. Momomoto in the summer of '44. [This page is an advertisement for the Bavarian Illuminati. There are several pictures, including "the eye in the triangle".] Advertisement Bavarian Illuminati Founded by Hassan i Sabbah 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L. 4850 A.M.) Reformed by Adam Weishaupt 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L. 5536 A.M.) THE ANCIENT ILLUMINATED SEERS OF BAVARIA invite YOU to join The World's Oldest and Most Successful Conspiracy Have you ever SECRETLY WONDERED WHY the GREAT PYRAMID has FIVE sides (counting the bottom)? What is the TRUE secret SINISTER REALITY behind the ANCIENT Aztec Legend of QUETZCOATL? WHO IS the MAN in ZURICH that some SWEAR is LEE HARVEY OSWALD? Is there an ESOTERIC ALLEGORY concealed in the apparently innocent legend of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? Why do scholarly anthropologists TURN PALE with terror at the very MENTION of the FORBIDDEN name YOG-SOTHOTH? WHAT REALLY DID HAPPEN TO AMBROSE PIERCE? If your I.Q. is over 150, and you have 23,125.00 (plus handling), you might be eligible for a trial membership in the A.I.S.B. If you think you qualify, put the money in a cigar box and bury it in your backyard. One of our Underground Agents will contact you shortly. I DARE YOU! TELL NO ONE! ACCIDENTS HAVE A STRANGE WAY OF HAPPENING TO PEOPLE WHO TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT THE BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI! May we warn you against Imitations! Ours is the original and genuine "NOTHING IS TRUE EVERYTHING IS PERMISSIBLE" -Hassan i Sabbah. Nil Carborundum Illegitimo DEATH TO ALL FANATICS! OFFICIAL BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI "EWIGE BLUMENKRAFT" "ILLUMINATE THE OPPOSITION" - Adam Weishaupt, Grand Primus Illuminatus. 00070 INTER-OFFICE PRIVATE WIRE SENT THE ANCIENT ILLUMINATED SEERS OF BAVARIA-VIGILANCE LODGE Mad Malik, Hauptscheissmeister; Resident for Norton Cabal DISCORDIAN SOCIETY SUPER SECRET CRYTOGRAPHIC CYPHER CODE Of possible interest to all Discordians, this information is herewith released from the vaults of A.I.S.B., under the auspices of Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatius, KNS. SAMPLE MESSAGE ("HAIL ERIS") CONVERSION: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 W X Y Z 23 24 25 26 STEP 1. Write out message (HAIL ERIS) and put all vowels at end (HLRSAIEI) STEP 2. Reverse order (IEIASRLH) STEP 3. Convert to numbers (9-5-9-1-19-18-12-8) STEP 4. Put into numerical order (1-5-8-9-9-12-18-19) STEP 5. Convert back to letters (AEHIILRS) This cryptographic cypher code is GUARANTEED TO BE 100% UNBREAKABLE. BEWARE! THE PARANIODS ARE WATCHING YOU! [COMING NEXT!! A CLASSIFIED LETTER FROM AISB] HERE IS A LETTER FROM A.I.S.B. TO POEE: The World's Oldest And Most Successful Conspiracy Bavarian Illuminati Founded by Hassan i Sabbah 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L. 4850 A.M.) Reformed by Adam Weishaupt 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L. 5536 A.M.) ( ) OFFICIAL BUSINESS (x) SURREPTITIOUS BUSINESS FROM: MAD MALIK Hauptscheissmeister Dear Brother Mal-2, In response to your request for unclassified agitprop to be inserted in the new edition of the PRINCIPIA, hope the following will be of use. And please stop bothering with your incessant letters! Episkopos Mordecai, Keeper of the Notary Sojac, informs me that you are welcome to reveal that our oldest extant records show us to have been fully established in Atlantis, circa 18,000 B.C., under Kull, the galley slave who ascended to the Throne of Valusia. Revived by Pelias of Koth, circa 10,000 B.C. Possibly it was he who taught the inner- teachings to Conan of Cimmeria after Conan became King of Aquilona. First brought to the western hemisphere by Conan and taught to Mayan priesthood (Conan is Quetzlcoatl). That was 4 Ahua, 8 Cumhu, Mayan date. Revived by Abdul Alhazred in his infamous Al Azif, circa 800 A.D. (Al Azif translated into LAtin by Olaus Wormius, 1132 A.D.. as The Necronomicon.) In 1090 A.D. was the founding of The Ismaelian Sect (Hasishim) by Hassan i Sabbah, with secret teachings bsed on Alhazred,Pelias and Kull. Founding of the Illuminated Ones of Bavaria, by Adam Weishaupt, on May 1, 1776. He based it on the others. Weishaupt brought it to the United States during the period that he was impersonating George Washington; and it was he who was the Man in Black who gave the design for The Great Seal to Jefferson in the garden that night. The Illuminated tradition is now, of course, in the hands of The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria (A.I.S.B.), headquartered here in the United States. Our teachings are not, need I remind you, available for publication. No harm, though, in admitting that some of them can be found disguised in Joyce's Finnegan's Wake, Burroughs Nova Express, the King James translation of The Holy Bible (though not the Latin or Hebrew), and The Blue Book. Not to speak of Ben Franklin's private papers (!), but we are still suppressing those. Considering current developments -- you know the ones I speak of -- it has been decided to reveal a few more of our front organizations. Your publication is timely, so mention that in addition to the old fronts like the Masons, the Rothchild Banks, and the Federal Reserve System, we now have significant control of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (since Hoover died last year, but that is still secret), the Students for a Democratic Society, the Communist Party USA, the American Anarchist Assn., the Junior Chamber of Commerce, the Black Lotus Society, the Republican Party, the John Dillinger Died For You Society and the Camp Fire Girls. It is still useful to continue the sham of the Birchers that we are seeking world domination; so do not reveal that political and economic control was generally complete several generations ago and that we are just playing with the world for a while until civilization advances sufficiently for phase five. In fact you might still push Vennard's The Federal Reserve Hoax: "Since the Babylonian Captivity thaere has existed a determined behind-the-scenes under-the-table, atheistic, satanic, anti-Christian force -- worshipers of Mamon -- whose undying purpose is world control through the control of Money. July 1, 1776 (correct that to May 1st, Vennard can't get anything right) the Serpent raised its head in the under-ground secret society known as the Illuminati, founded by Adam Weishaupt. There is considerable documentary evidence to prove that all revolutions, wars, depressions, strikes and chaos stem from this source." Etc., etc., you know the stuff. The general location of our US HQ, incidentally, has been nearly exposed; and so we will be moving for the first time this century (what a drag!). If you want, you can reveal that it is located deep in the labyrinth of sewers beneath Dealy Plaza in Dallas, and is presided over by The Dealy Lama. Inclosed are some plans for several new potential locations. Please review and add any comments you feel pertinent, especially regarding the Eristic propensity of the Pentagon site. Oh, and we have some good news for you, Brother Mal! You know that Zambian cybernetics genius who joined us? Well, he has secretly co-ordinated the FBI computers with the Zurich System and our theoriticians are in ecstacy over the new information coming out. Look, if you people out there can keep from blowing yourselves up for only two more generations, then we will finally have it. After 20,000 years, Kull's dream will be realized! We can hardly believe it. But the out come is certain, given the time. Our grandchildren, Mal! If civilization makes it through this crises, our grandchildren will live in a world of authentic freedom and authentic harmony and authentic satisfaction. I hope I'm alive to see it, Mal, success is in our grasp. Twenty thousand years.....! Ah, I get spaced just thinking about it. Good luck on the Principia. Ewige Blumenkraft! HAIL ERIS. Love, MAD MALIK PS: PRIVATE - Not for publication in The Principia. We are retuning to the two Zwack Cyphers for classified communications. Herewith is your copy. DO NOT DIVULGE THIS INFORMATION - SECURITY E-5. [the code then follows; sorry but it cannot be revealed] [THESE ARE VERY GOOD WORDS OF WISDOM] PART FIVE The Golden Secret NONSENSE AS SALVATION The human race will begin solving it's problems on the day that it ceases taking itself so seriously. To that end, POEE proposes the countergame of NONSENSE AS SALVATION. Salvation from an ugly and barbarous existence that is the result of taking order so seriously and so seriously fearing contrary orders and disorder, that GAMES are taken as more important than LIFE; rather than taking LIFE AS THE ART OF PLAYING GAMES. To this end, we propose that man develop his innate love for disorder, and play with The Goddess Eris. And know that it is a joyful play, and that thereby CAN BE REVOKED THE CURSE OF GREYFACE. If you can master nonsense as well as you have already learned to master sense, then each will expose the other for what it is: absurdity. From that moment of illumination, a man begins to be free regardless of his surroundings. He becomes free to play order games and change them at will. He becomes free to play disorder games just for the hell of it. He becomes free to play neither or both. And as master of his own games, he plays without fear, and therefore without frustration, and there- fore with good will in his soul and love in his being. And when men become free then mankind will be free. May you be free of The Curse of Greyface. May the Goddess put twinkles in your eyes. May you have the knowledge of a sage, and the wisdom of a child. Hail Eris. T'AI OOO74 00075 THUS ENDS PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA This beig the 4th Edition, March 1970, San Francisco; a revision of the 3rd Edition of 500 copies, whomped together in Tampa 1969; which revised the 2nd Edition of 100 copies from Los Angeles 1969; which was a revision of PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA or HOW THE WEST WAS LOST published in New Orleans in 1965 in five copies, which were mostly lost. [running along left edge of page] If you think the PRINCIPIA is just a ha-ha, then go read it again. ALL RIGHTS REVERSED - Reprint what you like Published by POEE Head Temple - San Francisco "ON THE FUTURE SITE OF BEAUTIFUL SAN ANDREAS CANYON" OFFICE OF MY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER KSC OPOVIG HIGH PRIEST POEE KALLISTI THE LAST WORD The foregoing document was revealed to Mal-2 by the Goddess Herself through many consultations with Her within his Pineal Gland. It is guaranteed to be the Word of Goddess. However, it is only fair to state that Goddess doesn't always say the same thing to each listener, and that other Episkoposes are sometimes told quite different thing in their Revelations, which are also the Word of Goddess. Consequently, if you prefer a Discordian Sect other than POEE, then none of these truths are binding, and it is a rotten shame that you have read all the way down to the very last word. ANTI-ARISTOTELIAN LEAGUE LIBRARY. DISCORDIAN SOCIETY DEDICATED TO AN ADVANCED UNDERSTANDING OF THE PARAPHYSICAL MANIFESTATIONS OF EVERYDAY CHAOS POEE DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAD A LOPSIDED PINEAL GLAND? Well, probably you do have one, and it's unfortunate because lopsided Pineal Glands have perverted the Free Spirit of Man, and subverted Life into a frustrating, unhappy and hopeless mess. Fortunately, you have before you a handbook that will show you how to discover your salvation through ERIS, THE GODDESS OF CONFUSION. It will advuse you how to balance your Pineal Gland and reach spirit- ual illumination. And it will teach you how to turn your miserable mess into a beautiful, joyful, and splendid one. POEE is a bridge from PISCES to AQUARIUS __________________________ [The following is the last page of the Principia (thank Goddess) but not the last page of Discordian teachings. The Words of the Illuminined WHY ARE WE HERE? Have you ever secretly wondered why the Great Pyramid has five sides -- counting the bottom? RATED X...NATURALLY SUPPRESSED KNOWLEDGE HYGIENE The Lord promised: "Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jereboam and will cut off from Jereboam him that pisseth against the wall..." -- I Kings 14:10 (This unsanitary practice caused serious erosion of the mud walls). GRAND OPERA "Whereby my bowels shall sound like a harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kirharesh." --Isaiah 16:11 Face to face with the mighty forces and elements of nature, the thoughtful man fearlessly con- templates his place in the great cosmic scene. --POEE Yes, I'd like to know the Five Simple Actions that Will Turn Me Into A "Mental Wizard" in a Single Weekend!