From:    Robert Curry
To:      Brian Moore                            Oct-26-93 00:49:24
Subject: Ciya Replies

On (23 Oct 93) Brian Moore wrote to All...

 BM> I would like to share with you this LOVING[sic] pamphlet.

Thank you.  Ciya has modified it thusly:

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    WHAT IF YOU DIED TODAY!

No, not yesterday (then you wouldn't be reading this now...duh), not
tomorrow, but TODAY!  What if you died just after dinner, but before
you brushed your teeth?  Would that be considered bad hygiene?

Even now as you are reading this tract, some idiot could be bugging
the hell out of you - but if you DIED right NOW, then even the most
persistent pains in the ass couldn't do a damn thing about it.

Sure, they might mutilate your corpse out of spite, but what would
you care?  You'd be DEAD!

But you're thinking: "That'll never happen to me.  With my luck, I'll
just lapse into a coma for a few months and live for decades afterward
in constant excruciating pain."

    "Whereas nothing shall ever happen quite as you expect, do not
    expect anything at all.  For what is your life?  It is just
    what you make of it, how you face your daily circumstances."
    Gimble 12:01

If you do nothing for the rest of your life except read these words
continuously again and again, then they will certainly be the last
thing you ever read.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


    YOU CAN'T ESCAPE DEATH!

Unless you're not alive, that is.  Then you don't have the privilege
of eventually dying.

Ghosts and phantoms of the imagination merely fade away into the mists
of nothingness and superstition which first gave birth to them.  They're
all doomed to a final lingering among a handful of believers before
being consigned for all eternity to the pages of ancient mythology and
forgotten fables.

    "And only those who truly live can truly die; for the rest are but
    phantoms, and who shall remember them?"  Bandersnatch 9:11

Now maybe you're thinking: "If I died today, who would remember me?
After all, I've never done anything really memorable."

    "For all have touched others in their lives, and left their marks
    on the changing tapestry of time and space."  Jabberwock 0000:FFFF

According to Ciya's favorite words, no matter how dull you consider
your life to be, there are still times when you have a profound and
lasting influence on the world around you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


    CIYA HAS ASKED YOU A QUESTION.

    "Shall I flee from the questions of Ciya forever?"  Jesse 8

    "...and so a life of cowardly behavior leaves nothing of lasting
    value, nor is there anything so cowardly as refusing to consider
    the questions which we encounter."  Bandersnatch 20:20

    "For as death is the end of life, it is a boundary like birth, and
    all our love and hate, passion and boredom, pleasures and pains
    are found within life's ample limits, where we make our choices."
    Frabjous Day 3:16

Now stop a second, and read that last verse again.  You could probably
improve on it.  Go ahead and rewrite it some other way - your version
will automatically be recorded in the Great Compendium of rewritten
verses that Ciya keeps safe in her intangible treehouse.

You might be wondering what Ciya's question is - but you know what it
is, and it's about time you summoned up the fortitude to answer.

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    IS THE QUESTION, "SHOULD I GO TO CHURCH?"

It might be, though most people have more pressing things on their
minds than this sort of needless bullshit.

    "A sucker is born every minute."  Barnum 22

    IS THE QUESTION, "SHOULD I DO WHAT CIYA TELLS ME?"

You must be really weird to come up with questions like these.  First
of all, how will you know what Ciya is telling you?

Ciya's Unauthorized Reigning Representative Yes-man (CURRY) has neither
the time nor the inclination to let you in on all of her latest sayings,
and it is obvious that you cannot hear her call.

So you may either learn to live without consulting this ever so popular
imaginary friend, or else offer CURRY some cash tithes for his services
in bringing Ciya's precious words to you.

    "For by humor are ye spoofed through analogy; and that not of
    yourselves: it is the gift of Ciya."  Robert 1:3

----------------------------------------------------------------------


   THE QUESTION IS, "DO YOU HAVE ANY EVIDENCE THAT YOUR FAVORITE
   DEITY IS ANYTHING MORE THAN AN IMAGINARY FRIEND LIKE CIYA?"

Listen, why don't you admit to Ciya, and more importantly to yourself,
that you have no more evidence for the existence of any sort of god than
you have for the Infinite Ciya?

That you are willing to turn from your evasive behavior, and provide
an honest comparison between imaginary friends, without cowering behind
the shield of "Blasphemy!" whenever these questions arise.

If you will do that right now with a sincere heart, Ciya says that you
will not regret it - but the truth will set you to thinking.

    "These things have I written unto you who are the friends of Ciya,
    that you may know that your lives' meanings need not be judged
    'ultimate' by anyone to have value."  Jabberwock 0D00:CE14

Do it right now - don't put it off another minute!  THIS IS NOT BY
COINCIDENCE THAT YOU ARE READING THIS TRACT.  Ciya planned it for
you and not somebody else.  Don't forget to brush your teeth.

======================================================================

As a favor to David Rice, this post is not exactly 22 lines in length. ;-)

--- PPoint 1.68
 * Origin: And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? (1:3603/140.4)