Anyone heard of the day Father Murray asked the church custodian to
handle confession for him while he went to the bathroom?

He said "all you need to know is right there on this paper. See, here's
lying (three Hail Marys), cheating (five Our Fathers), stealing (seven
Hail Marys and ten Our Fathers). Couldn't be easier, just listen to
their confession and read the penance off of the paper, and I'll be
back in two minutes".

"I don't know!" said the custodian. "I've never done this before."

But the custodian agreed and went into the booth to hear the next
confession. The confessor said "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I
have had anal sex."

The custodian couldn't find anal sex anywhere on the list that Father
Murray had given him so he peeked out the door. An altar boy happend by
just then and the custodian said "Pssst! Hey kid, what's father Murray
give for anal sex?"

The kid replied, "Oh, usually five candy bars and a soda pop!"