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To live with scores, yet never score, As years go by, must be a bore. In painful spite of hormones' urgin' Amidst such wealth to stay a virgin? 'Tis beyond me quite to comprehend The destiny that shapes your end To avoid that combination sweet Where man and maid make both ends meet. --- Don Martin to David Rice It is true, what I did say thirty long years, and not one lay. All words spoken end up trite, when my only lady-friend's a dyke. No one has ever wanted me; I'm not so handsome as one can see; 't would 'a been a better service If I'd been born with a cervix: in mating matters now obtuse, I'd put my lady-friends to use. --- David Rice Replies

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