To live with scores, yet never score,
As years go by, must be a bore.
In painful spite of hormones' urgin'
Amidst such wealth to stay a virgin?
'Tis beyond me quite to comprehend
The destiny that shapes your end
To avoid that combination sweet
Where man and maid make both ends meet.
--- Don Martin to David Rice
It is true, what I did say
thirty long years, and not one lay.
All words spoken end up trite,
when my only lady-friend's a dyke.
No one has ever wanted me;
I'm not so handsome as one can see;
't would 'a been a better service
If I'd been born with a cervix:
in mating matters now obtuse,
I'd put my lady-friends to use.
--- David Rice Replies
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