--- Following message extracted from HOLYSMOKE @ 1:374/14 ---
    By Christopher Baker on Sat Apr 29 22:34:24 1995

From: Ryan Shaw
To: All
Date: 28 Apr 95  05:18:23
Subj: why god didn't get tenure
                         
                         WHY GOD DIDN'T GET A TENURE?
      _________________________________________________________________

    1. He had only one major publication.
    2. It was in Hebrew.
    3. It had no references.
    4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
    5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
    6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done
       since then?
    7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
    8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his
       results.
    9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human
       subjects.
   10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his
       subjects.
   11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the
       sample.
   12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
   13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
   14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
   15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students
       failed his tests.
   16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain
       top.
     _________________________________________________________________

    Bogdan R. Kosanovic, Dept. of Electrical Eng., University of
    Pittsburgh, bogdan@neuronet.pitt.edu


... Dead Gods!  Onna Stick!  Get 'em while they're hot!                        
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 * Origin:  [ Zoo Station ][ Eugene, Oregon]  (1:152/67)