[from the FidoNet HOLYSMOKE Echo]
Date: 03 Apr 93 1:31:00
From: Alan Jennings
To: Brian Henry
Subj: HAPPY EASTER, BULLWINKLE or WILL STEVE ROSE GET A TITLE OF HERETIC?
____________________________________________________________________________
--=== THE CHURCH OF ELVIS ===--
Preface and Preamble:
"If there is any fixed star in our constitutional constellation,
it is that NO official, high or petty, can prescribe what shall
be orthodox in politics, nationalism, religion or other matters
of opinion or force citizens to confess by word or act their
faith therein. If there ARE any circumstances which permit an
exception, they do not now occur to us."
Ref: U.S.Supreme Court (1943) West Virginia State Board of
Education v. Barnette, 319 US 624.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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/"XXXXXXXXXXX X X XXXXX XX XX XXXXXXXXXXXXXV,
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" ""IIII IIIIIIII"", // / / "
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" """" /// / / / / / ",
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ELVIS thinks you're NEAT!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%% %%%
%%% U N I V E R S A L L I F E C H U R C H %%%
%%% International Headquarters * Modesto California %%%
%%% %%%
%%% %%%
%%% It is hereby declared that ELVIS ARON PRESLEY %%%
%%% %%%
%%% has been named S A I N T of the %%%
%%% %%%
%%% Universal Life Church this day of November 8, 1988 %%%
%%% %%%
%%% %%%
%%% U L C %%%
%%% S E A L Signed: Kirby J. Hensley, D.D. %%%
%%% I H Q President %%%
%%% %%%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Upon duly submitted and approved petition to the International
Headquarters of the Universal Life Church, Inc., Elvis Aron Presley
was named Saint of the Universal Life Church in November, 1988. The
petition to the church read as follows:
Elvis exhibited faith and hope when, as a youngster,
he pursued his talent as an entertainer despite the
odds against rising from his humble beginnings. He
exhibited charity by his obvious and documented
generosity. All of these attributes of character are
believed to have been present to an extraordinary
degree by his followers.
*****************************************************************************
ECCLESIASTICAL PROCLAMATION
WHEREAS the beliefs on matters of death and resurrection are
especially promulgated during the weekend of the
First Sunday after the first full moon after the
Vernal Equinox, and
WHEREAS these concepts are so closely tied by many in many
churches to ancient ceremonies of fertility and
symbolized by Bunnies and Eggs and other esoteric
symbols of rebirth and new life, and
WHEREAS the promise of eternal life was extended to everyone
as far back as 1939 (or even earlier, to hear some
tell it) and that possibility is recognized by lots
of folks, and
WHEREAS the Saturday prior to the Sunday mentioned above has
heretofore remained generally unclaimed, unnamed, and
uncelebrated, now,
THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that the Saturday before the First
Sunday after the first full moon after the Vernal
Equinox be proclaimed and known as ELVIS SATURDAY
from this day forward, and be celebrated by the
faithful in joyous recognition of all Spring
Festivals associated with rebirth and fertility with
the eternal melodies of St. Elvis Aron Presley, who
lives forever in the eternal present.
Wherefore I have set my mark and caused to be
affixed the seal of the Church of Elvis ULC
on this 14th day of April, 1990.
Signed by the Bishop .
Saturday, April 14, 1990
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
THERE's MORE!!!
The CHURCH OF ELVIS is a sect of the Universal Life Church and
is looking for new ministers.
ABOUT MINISTERHOOD
-- Is This For Real?
Yes, it is. The Universal Life Church will ordain anyone, for
life, no questions asked, and at no cost. The ordination is legally
valid, and, after registering with local authorities, ULC Ministers
can legally perform weddings, funerals, baptisms, etc.
-- But I Have To Believe In Something Silly, Right?
Nope. The ULC doesn't impose ANY beliefs on it's Ministers or their
congregations. Your god is OK. Period.
-- Am I Making Any Promises?
Only one. A ULC Minister agrees to do what's "right". You get to
interpret "right" to your satisfaction. No one will call to ask for
money. You're not joining a "cult." You're welcome (encouraged!)
to continue practicing whatever faith you like. ULC Ministers are also
Catholics, Episcopalians, Methodists, ELVIS Worshippers... you name it.
-- So How Do I Become Ordained?
Easy. Just fill out the simple form below, or call any CompuChurch (tm)
Chartered BBS and go to the Online Ordainments Menu. Your info will be
processed by CompuChurch (tm) International Headquarters. CompuChurch will
file your request with the ULC, and you'll receive your credentials within a
coupla weeks. It's free, but we could use a stamp!
-- Still A Little Wary?
There's more information on the ULC at any CompuChurch (tm) Chartered
BBS, from The Church of Elvis or from CompuChurch (tm) International
Headquarters, 1:3800/6 or call direct at (504) 927-4509.
BBSes are filled with ULC Ministers from all walks of life. Join us!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
* MAKE ME A MINISTER!
Yes, this all sounds wonderful. I want to be a minister, fully ordained and
authorized to do anything ministers usually do, and entitled to the
privileges and benefits extended to the clergy.
Name:
------------------------------------------------
Address:
------------------------------------------------
City State Zip:
------------------------------------------------
I am enclosing a self-addressed stamped envelope to make life easier for
you!
SEND TO:
Church of Elvis
Diocese of Baton Rouge Universal Life Church
P.O.Box 64575
Baton Rouge, LA 70896
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
A Certified True Copy of the original certificate of Sainthood issued
under the seal of the Church of Elvis ULC, and signed by the Pastor and
the Prophet of Elvis is available, along with a copy of the Proclamation
of Elvis Saturday, if requested, for a $5 donation payable to Universal
Life Church sent to the address above.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
* SPECIAL TITLES
Special Titles are offered for a minimum donation of $5.00. Below is a list
of special titles currently being offered:
Bishop Magus Monsignor Healing
Minister
Missionary Pastor General Cardinal Elder
Lama Apostle of Humility Right Reverend Guru
Deacon Flying Missionary Archpriest Preceptor
Colonel Missionary Doctor Sister Soul Therapist
Archbishop Evangelist Friar Metropolitan
Abbot Thanatologist Reverend Mother Free Thinker
Arch Deacon Hadji Brahman High Priest
Rabbi Abbess Parochial Educator Scribe
Monk Priest Religious Preacher Cure
Universal Rabbi Most Reverend Preacher Swami
Angel Ascetic Gnostic Dervish Universal Rabbi
Brother Mother Superior Father Chaplain
Anada Abbe Lay Sister Archcardinal
Rector Orthodox Monk Druid Starets
Reverend Father Missionary of Music The Very Esteemed Prophet
High Priestess Minister of Music Iman Shaman
Righteous Brother Messenger Mystical Philosopher
Universal Religious Philosopher
Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality
If you do not see the title you want, write us. New titles are approved every
day!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
Special Title of Sainthood
Do you know a "Saint" personally? Do you know someone who has exercised the
three theological virtues - faith, hope, and charity - to an extraordinary
degree? If so you may bestow "Sainthood" within the ULC upon this beloved
person. Merely write with your reasons for bestowing Sainthood upon the
individual and include a donation of $5.00. The handsome certificate of
Sainthood will be sent directly to you, or you may have the degree sent to
the recipient.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
Distributed by The Church of Elvis
and
CompuChurch (tm) International Headquarters
504-927-4509
FidoNet 1:3800/6
For Information, send S.A.S.E to:
The Church of Elvis
P.O.Box 64575
Baton Rouge, LA 70896-4575
--=== THE CHURCH OF ELVIS ===--
---
* Origin: The Holy Cloakroom - Online Ordination - (504)927-4509 (1:3800/6)
-30-
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