Bart Gets Hit by a Car Written by John Swartzwelder
Directed by Mark Kirkland
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[$Id: 7F10 1.5 91/12/17 14:46:14 raymond Exp Locker: raymond $]
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> Title Sequence
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Blackboard :- `I will not sell school/property'.
`I will not sell schoo' at cutoff.
Driveway :- no oil on the driveway.
Homer does not shake his fist at Bart.
Homer says Aaagh! when Lisa scoots past.
Couch: :- Homer bumps everybody off the couch.
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> Didja notice...
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... nary two seconds after we see `Bart Gets Hit by a Car',
Bart gets hit by a car?
... the Devil is using a windowing interface to his computer?
... when Homer is called into Mr. Burns' office (the first time),
there is a line of attorneys standing next to Burns' desk,
and at the end of the line is a stuffed mounted polar bear?
... Della is reading `Popular Secretary'?
... when Burns and Smithers spy on Marge and Homer through the painting,
Burns looks through the eyes of a portrait of Mr. Burns, and
Smithers bends over to look through the eyes of Burns' dog?
[I'll leave the `bends over' part to the people who like to
argue about whether Mr. Burns is a Homer-sexual.]
... Doctor Julius Hibert went to Johns Hopkins?
... when Hutz buries his head in his hands after Marge ruins his case,
there are crumpled up pieces of paper and a broken pencil on the
table in front of him?
[John Kupec]
... one of the stores in opening scene is named `Cloth Store'?
... Burn's limo has an atom hood ornament?
... green goo dripping all over the nuclear power plant?
... Hutz's secretary's name is Della as in Perry Mason?
[Thomas Skrobala]
... that Judge Moulton looked a lot like non-Supreme-Court-justice
Robert Bork?
Also, when Burns' attorney asked Marge for her opinion of Dr. Riviera,
notice that Lionel Hutz didn't raise any objection? It seems he
didn't learn much about law at the Louvre Law School...
Some people note that Homer indignantly turns down Burns's offer of $500,000
even though that's what he would've gotten if he had won the lawsuit once he
paid Hutz's 50% fee. But Hutz probably would have claimed 50% of the $500,000
settlement, leaving Homer with $250,000.
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> Movie References
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~ A Tale of Two Cities
- After hitting Bart, Burns says, ``Just give him a nickel
and let's get going.'' In the book, the Marquis St. Evremonde
runs over a boy in the street and just tosses the father a coin.
Gaspard (the father) refused the coin and instead murdered the
Marquis. Wonder if Burns knew... {jdlb}
+ Hieronymus Bosch (1450-1516), `Garden of Earthly Delights'
- the rendition of Hell
+ Rolling Stones, `Sympathy for the Devil'
- Satan says, `Please allow me to introduce myself.'
+ Wizard of Oz
- Bart waking up from his `dream' saying `And you were there,
and you and you...'
+ Miracle on 34th Street
- Judge asking Bart if he knows the difference between telling
the truth and telling a lie.
? Some as-yet unidentified movie ?
- Burns cradling Bart's head in his lap (in the Burns version)
and the camera pulling upward with a crowd of people surrounding
him.
Guesses include
- The Last Picture Show, when the poolroom owner's adopted son
gets tagged by a semi while sweeping the street. {rc}
- The Pulitzer-Prize-winning photo of the Kent State Massacre
of May 1970.
- Colors, when Robert Duvall is shot. {sy}
- The Human Comedy, ``check it out if you don't believe me'' {sf}
- Potemkin, when the mother holds her dead child {jev}
- Rebel Without a Cause, ``I'm pretty sure'' {ja}
- Romeo and Juliet, the final scene {din}
- West Side Story, the final scene {din}
- Superman, when Superman finds Lois Lane dead {sp}
- Twilight Zone, `In Praise of Pip', when Jack Klugman
prays for his son, he says something like ``Take me,
I'm old.'' {wb}
and probably the best guess
- Darby O'Gill and the Little People (Sean Connery)
Towards the end of the movie, old man Darbys' daughter disobeys
her fathers commands and goes up a mountain after a horse (storm
coming). She trips over a ledge and is knocked unconsious.
Fearing the Banshee curse placed on Darby will claim another
victim, he races after her and finds her lying on the ground.
Cradling her head in his lap, and with the camera pulling back,
yells out at the approching banshee ``Go away! Take me I'm
old!'' Darby throws a lantern at the hag, who disappears, then
he and her boyfriend (Connery) carry her back home.
{cjb's brother}
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> Bart's visit to Hell
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Several people have pointed out that the rendition of Hell is taken
Bosch's ``Garden of Earthly Delights''
As to what computer system the devil was using, I personally doubt very
much the writers had a particular system in mind. Assorted evidence:
The mouse had only one button. (suggests Macintosh)
the pull-down menu did not come from a menu bar. (rules out Macintosh)
there was more than one type of menu pulled out of thin air.
(rules out Windows 3, SunView)
the menu changed without having to press the mouse button.
(rules out everything else)
Note, though, that the devil was right-handed. So much for `sinister'
intentions...
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> Bart's return to the world of the living
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+ Bart passes through earth with dinosaur fossils embedded in it.
+ The Flanderses were getting booster shots on the ground floor of the
hospital; how typically responsible of them. [David Tamkin]
+ the sign on the door reads `State Booster Program'. [Joe Kincaid]
+ The syringe you see is not a real syringe, but rather is part of the
inoculation poster. [Thomas C. Allard]
+ The sign on the door reads `Authorized Personnel Only'. [Jeffrey R Carden]
+ Jacques is seeing his proctologist, probably more out of need than
Flanders-like prevention. [David Tamkin]
+ Bart passes by a room where a body with a toe tag lies in bed.
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> Lionel Hutz, the Lawyer
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[David Tamkin]
Hutz's sponge card (a degree from the Louvre?) tells us to dial KL 5-LAWW;
he's been clogging our courts since 1974. [1976, actually. --rjc]
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> `Doctor' Riviera
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[David Tamkin]
The block from Hutz's office to Riviera's had ``(Something) Nook'' on the
corner, then ``[Your?] Law Offices of Lionel Hutz,'' then ``Gum for Less,''
[which Joe Kincaid points out is a new low in niche marketing] and
finally ``Dr. Nick Riviera, general specialist credit doctor.'' Signs in
Riviera's office windows read ``Yes, we're open'' and ``Yes, we use
anesthetic.'' How reassuring.
Riviera's degrees read ``Mayo Clinic Correspondence School,'' ``Club Med
School,'' ``Female Body Inspector,'' (how about ``Female Body Impersonator''?),
and ``I went to medical school for four years and all I got was this lousy
diploma.'' But as Hutz said, Riviera was the only person in the room who
even came close to being a doctor.
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> Burns' story
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From: jasmerb@prism.cs.orst.edu (Bryce Jasmer)
Burns driving in that pink VW Bug with purple flowers. I think it was the
music that really made it great.
[dattier@ddsw1.MCS.COM (David W. Tamkin) and jwk@Scripps.EDU (John Kupec)
confirm that the music was "Tijuana Taxi" by Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass.]
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> Lisa's role
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Lisa has but five lines in the entire episode (sigh):
1) Excuse me, Mr. Hutz. Are you a shyster?
2) Hello, Dr. Hibbert.
3) Dad, may I please make an observation?
4) I think this is all a charade to make Bart look
more injured than he really is.
5) Mmm.
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> Quotes and scene summary
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% While skateboarding recklessly, Bart gets hit by Mr. Burns' car.
Smithers: I think the boy is hurt.
Burns: Oh for crying out loud, just give him a nickel and let's get going.
-- after... ``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
% Bart's spirit rises from his body...
Hey, cool, I'm dead.
-- Bart realizes he's dead, ``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
% and he takes an escalator to the pearly gates, seeing Great Grampa Simpson
% and a tire-track-marked Snowball on the way. A voice instructs...
Please hold onto the handrail. Do not spit over the side.
[and repeated in Spanish]
-- Heavenly voice, ``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
% Bart spits over the side, and Bart falls down, down, down... as the voice
% chides, `We told you to hold onto the handrail. We asked you not to spit
% over the side'. Bart finds himself in the Underworld.
I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
-- Bart introduces himself to Satan, ``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
% But there seems to have been a mistake...
According to this, you're not due to arrive until the Yankees
wins the pennant. That's nearly a century from now.
-- The Devil, on Bart's premature visit to Hell, ``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
Boy is my face red.
-- Satan after realizing Bart isn't due to arrive yet,
``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
Bart: Um, say, is there anything I can do to avoid coming back here?
Satan: Oh, sure, yeah. But, eh, you wouldn't like it.
Bart: Oh, okay! See you later, then.
-- Bart leaves Hell, ``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
Satan: Remember: Lie, cheat, steal, and listen to heavy metal music!
Bart: Yes, sir!
-- Some parting advice, ``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
% Bart ascends to the world of the living and wakes up in a hospital room.
% The family is joined by ...
Hutz: Hutz is the name, Mr. Simpson. Lionel Hutz, attorney at law.
Here's my card. It turns into a sponge when you put it in water.
Homer: Ooh, classy.
-- ``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
Homer: The doctor says it's just a bump on the head and a broken toe,
nothing serious.
Hutz: Pfft. Doctors. Doctors are idiots!
-- ``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
Lisa: Excuse me, Mr. Hutz. Are you a shyster?
Hutz: How does a nice little girl like you know a big word like that?
-- Lisa suspects Lionel Hutz isn't on the level, ``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
% Marge asks Hutz to leave, and he does...
Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. What's that, a broken neck? Great!
-- Chasing a gurney down the corridor, ``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
% Dr. Hibert comes in...
Marge: Is he well enough for me to start mothering him unbearably, doctor?
Hibert: Mm, better let him rest up a while first.
-- ``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
% Homer talks to his coworkers about what happened...
Homer: If I wasn't so spineless, I'd march into Mr. Burns' office
right now and...
Smithers: Simpson!
Homer: Aah!
Smithers: Mr. Burns wants you to march into his office right now!
-- ``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
Ah, Simpson. At last we meet.
-- Mr. Burns, calling Homer in regarding Bart's accident,
``Bart Gets Hit by a Car''
% when Burns offers him only $100, Homer notes that this hardly even covers
% the medical bills. Burns accuses Homer of extortion and tosses him out.
Burns: Throw him out, Smithers!
Homer: You don't have to do that, Mr. Burns. I can throw
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