Brush with Greatness Written by Brian K. Roberts
Directed by Jim Reardon
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[$Id: 7F18 1.4 91/12/17 14:47:31 raymond Exp Locker: raymond $]
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> Title sequence
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Blackboard :- `I will not hide behind the fifth / amendment'.
`I will not hide behind' at cutoff.
Driveway :- no oil on the driveway.
Homer does not shake his fist at Bart.
Homer says `D'oh!' when Lisa scoots past.
Couch: :- The couch tips over, and Maggie sits where the couch used to be.
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> Didja notice...
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... the water slide schematic looks like the human digestive system?
... Bart was eating left-handed?
... the Picasso-style painting of Burns in the discard pile?
... the substantial number of curlers Marge needs?
... the string quartet played `For He's a Jolly Good Fellow' when
Burns came in?
... this is Marge's second run-in with full frontal nudity?
... John Lovitz voiced Mr. Lombardo (the art teacher) and the donut
delivery man?
... Ringo said `gear!' when he saw Marge's painting?
[Jym Dyer]
... that they're reading the `Springfield Shopper' in the
first new episode to air since `Simpsons Illustrated' was released?
[Scott Amspoker]
... the runners up in the art contest? ("dogs playing ping pong" and
the sad unicorn asking "Why?")
... the number of different "camera shots" in which the genitalia
in Mr. Burns' portrait were kept hidden from view? It was so
conspicious it became a joke in itself.
[rjc]
Here's the list of things that blocked the view of Mr. Burns'
privates:
the feather of a woman's hat
Burns' head
Marge's hairdo
Marge's head
Marge's hand
Marge's upper lip
Marge's wine glass
Dr. Hibert's wine glass
Smithers' head
And for those who weren't sure of Lisa's age, Marge says, ``Mr. Burns, it's
hard to discover your inner beauty while you're shouting at an eight-year-old
girl.''
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> Movie References
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Howdy Doody Show
- Shamelessly pitching products on a kids show
and getting the kids all riled up to buy the stuff.
+ Ascending and Descending, an etching by M. C. Escher
- the line for H2WHOA!
~ Batman
- Krusty wipes make-up from his face, cf. The Joker. {evl}
+ Gone With the Wind
- ``As God as my witness, I'll always be hungry again!!''
~ Back to the Future
- ``Hello! Hello, taste? Where are you?'' Now change `taste'
to `McFly'.
+ Rocky
- Music as Homer works out.
+ The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
- Music as Homer approaches the scale. {gh2}
~ The Empire Strikes Back
- When Marge walks in on Burns in the bathroom, cf. Darth Vader.
Yellow Submarine
- The cartoon of Ringo is largely the same.
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> Freeze Frame Fun
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>> Things in the attic
A `Burns for Mayor' placard. [dale@mks.com (Dale Gass)]
A half-empty bottle of pills labelled, `Dr. Nick Riviera's Gym'
superimposed on a picture of a weightlifter lifting barbells.
Presumably, it contains steroids. [rmm@ipac.caltech.edu (Mike Melnyk)]
>> Blurbs from TV, courtesy of Ron Carter {rc}
- Two hours free parking
- Nose plug rental
- Trauma center on premises
>> At the park, courtesy of Ron Carter {rc}
- This park is not copless. So please don't go topless.
- Wavewalker. Caution. You will get wet.
- Rock-a-bye riptide. Water changed hourly. 1" 1 1/2" 2".
- Stop if you have - Athlete's foot - Hepatitis - Yeast infection.
[Many others have given the middle item as `Impetigo'.]
>> In the attic, courtesy of Ron Carter {rc}
- Burns for governor.
- Gluteus Maximizer.
- Dr. Nick Riviera's Gym.
- Gee, your pecs look terrific.
- Football jersey #17
>> The envelope, courtesy of Ron Carter {rc}
- Marge Bouvier, Springfield USA
- Ringo Starr, c/o The Beatles, Liverpool England, S.W.A.K.
>> Misc stuff, courtesy of Ron Carter {rc}
- Springfield Community College Extension Center.
- "Where old dogs learn new tricks"
- Lombardo Method
- The rolling donut
[For non-Americans, a common American unpleasantry is
to tell somebody (presumably male) to `go take a flying
fuck at a rolling donut.' -- Jym Dyer]
- Burn's mirror is 'monogrammed' CMB
- The cubist (with three eyes, fishy, eh?) painting and mobile of Burns.
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> Other stuff
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Gary Bisaga observes:
Right before Burns insults Homer's new reduced waistline, Homer is shown
standing in front of the staircase and two pictures are shown on the wall
behind him. One appears to be a baby picture of Bart, on all fours but with
the same spike hair. The other appears to be a female ancestor of Marge's,
looking just like Marge; she had blue hair done up like Marge's (and her
mother's) current style, except it didn't go up nearly as far - more of an
afro with a little peak on the top. It was in a little ellipsical frame.
The picture appears to be from the early part of the 20th century because
the dress she is wearing has mutton sleeves (those big puffy shoulder/sleeve
units that they wore back then). But the picture was in color (you can see
the hair is blue). They probably would not have given the woman that type of
dress unless they were attempting to portray a picture from, say, the 20's,
so I say the picture should have been B/W. What does everybody else say?
===============================================================================
>> Audrey Rosen kindly provides the jumprope rhyme:
Lincoln, Lincoln, I've been thinkin'
What the heck have you been drinkin'?
Is it water? Is it wine?
Oh my gosh, it's turpentine!
Except that Lisa and Bart say `hell' instead of `heck', just to give it
a little more edge.
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> Assorted comments and observations
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Chris Baird {cjb} notes that paintings of Monty Burns already existed,
such as the painting of a younger (blushing) Burns in his office in
`Homer's Odyssey'.
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> Quotes and scene summary
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% The Krusty the Klown Show is on location at Mt. Splashmore.
Krusty: Okay kids, it's time to...
Kids: Kroon Along With Krusty! Yeah!
[singing]
I want to go to Mt. Splashmore,
Take me, take me, take me, take me now!
Now! Now! Now! Now! Now!
Mt. Splashmore, take me there right now! Yay!
-- ``A rather shameless promotion'', ``Brush with Greatness''
% Lisa and Bart are taken in.
Homer: [asleep on the couch, drool dripping out of his mouth]
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No.
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No.
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
[following Homer walking down the hallway]
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No.
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No.
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No.
[at the dinner table]
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No.
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
[as Homer watches television with a beer in his hand]
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No.
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No.
[as Homer takes a shower]
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!!
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: NO!!!!
[as Homer tries to get some sleep]
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: NO!!!!!!
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: NO!!!!!!!!
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: NOOO!!
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: NOOOOO!!!
[Marge pulls her pillow over her head]
If I take you will you two SHUT UP AND QUIT BUGGING ME!
Bart: Yeah!
Lisa: Of course!
Bart: Well?
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: Yes!
Bart+Lisa Thanks, dad!
-- The persistence of memory? ``Brush with Greatness''
% Homer has trouble fitting into his swimsuit (which doesn't leave much to
% the imagination), nor does he find it easy to get into the car without
% his spare tire hitting the horn. When they arrive...
Everybody stick together. We don't want to get separ...
[turns around, everybody is gone] D'oh!
-- Homer's instructions to the family at Mt. Splashmore,
``Brush with Greatness''
Challenge the raging water of DEATH.
Dare to discover what water is really made of!
H2WHOA!
-- Mt. Splashmore announcer, ``Brush with Greatness''
% Bart is pleased that there is no line, but he's mistaken.
Bart: Okay, Lis. Turn on the water works, babe.
Lisa: [crying] Mommy! I want my mommy! [sob sob]
-- How to get to the front of the line for a ride at Mt. Splashmore,
``Brush with Greatness''
% Lisa, then Bart go down. Marge watches Maggie in the kiddie pool.
% Homer gets to the front of the H2WHOA line by claiming to be the
% line inspector, and when he goes down, he gets stuck. One technician
% notes, ``It's too big to be human'' and tells the spotter to send
% down some kids to dislodge it. They don't, and the section of pipe
% has to be removed to get Homer out. The family watch the TV news.
Eyewitnesses estimate the man's weight at somewhere between four and
five hundred pounds.
-- Newscaster on Homer's getting stuck in the water slide,
``Brush with Greatness''
Krusty: [surrounded by reporters]
No, this slide is perfectly safe. This was an isolated incident.
Kent Brockman: I understand that Krusty... [lost in the reporters' yelling]
Krusty! Was that exactly what you said just before the recall of
tainted `Krusty Brand Mayonnaise'?
Krusty: Now kids, you know that question is out of bounds.
This interview is over.
-- ``Brush with Greatness''
Homer: All right, family. I want the truth. Don't pull any punches.
[sweetly] Am I just a little bit overweight?
[silence]
[angrily] Well, am I?
Lisa: Forgive us, Dad, but it takes time to properly sugar-coat a response.
-- Ooh, and a split infinitive, too, ``Brush with Greatness''
% Homer weighs himself.
Oh! Four hundred and thirty-seven... Fifty pounds?
Oh my God! Three hundred and... A hundred and fifty?
OH! Ooh. OH! Ooh.
Oh my God! It's two hundred and sixty pounds!
I'm a big fat pig!
-- The ups and downs of dieting with a shaky scale, ``Brush with Greatness''
Marge: You do have big bones.
Homer: Marge, no one gains thirty pounds of bones!
-- Homer finds he weighs 260 pounds, ``Brush with Greatness''
I am going on a diet.
From this day forward, I pledge there will be no pork chop too succulent!
No donut too tasty!
No pizza too laden with delicious toppings
to prevent me from reaching my scientifically-determined ideal weight!
As God as my witness, I'll always be hungry again!!
-- Homer, upon realizing he needs to lose weight, ``Brush with Greatness''
% then his stomach growls. [End of Act 1. Time: 5:38]
%
% Homer takes Bart up to the attic, where Bart scares Homer with the lights.
Bart: Hey, Homer, I found your weights.
Homer: [admiring] Oh, the Glutemus Maximizer...
-- Up in the attic, ``Brush with Greatness''
% Bart stumbles across a large cache of paintings of Ringo Starr, signed
% by `Marge B.', one of which depicts Ringo and Marge getting married.
% Homer confronts Marge.
Marge: Oh Homer, don't be jealous. I was a schoolgirl.
The Beatles were very popular, and I had a crush on him.
Homer: A likely story...
-- Marge explains her collection of Ringo Starr paintings,
``Brush with Greatness''
% At dinner...
Oh, why did I have to start my diet on pork chop night?
-- Homer, setting out on his diet, ``Brush with Greatness''
% Marge gives Homer steamed vegetables and rice cakes.
Hey, I've been setting my drinks on these things!
-- Homer admires a rice cake, ``Brush with Greatness''
Hello! Hello! Hello, taste? Where are you?
-- Homer bites into a rice cake, ``Brush with Greatness''
% Marge suggests Homer could put something on it for flavor.
Hey Mom, these paintings are good.
While I know first-hand how fragile young talent is,
I'd love to hear the particulars of how
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