The Choppin' Broccoli Song
by Dana Carvey

(Preamble)

I think it would be a fair statement to say that every comedian here today
would prefer to be a rock star -- in real life.  Because I think rock stars
are the coolest people on the planet.  Rock stars're very hip, always flare
their nostrils - look like they're about to vomit.  'n they always have that
preamble before the song that makes no sense at all: "You know ladies and
gentlemen, a long time ago there were lots o' people . . . that's all I'm
tryin' to say . . ."
And a lot of these lyrics - you gotta admit when you hear songs on the radio,
some of these lyrics are very generic - very trite; I mean, to me, it sounds
as if the guy is making them up as he goes along.  You know what I mean?
It's like . . .

(Song)

She's cold as Ice . . .
{small belch}
  Paradise,
  And the feelin' -- was, ah, nice.

'n there's a lady I know.
If I didn't know her --
  She'd be the lady I'I'I didn't know.

'n my lady she went downtown
  She bought some broccoli
  She brought it ho-ome
  She's choppin' broccoli
    a choppin' broccoli
    she's choppin' broccoli
    she's choppin' broccoli
      she chop 'n
      she chop 'n
      she chop
Eeeooh
She choppin' broccoli-eow-how-how-iiiiiii . . .

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