Walk Away

Recovering together:
Support groups for walk aways
By Eric Merrill Budd

Why a support group? There are two good reasons for the establishment 
of support groups for former members of fundamentalist authoritarian 
religious groups. First, there is the mutual support and sharing of 
experiences which can help individual members recover. Second, the 
presence of such groups can help promote greater awareness of cultic 
groups in local areas.

Of course, it is not essential to start a group, and the resources 
may not be there for you to get one off the ground. But here are some 
ideas if you're thinking of starting a support group.

The first step is to develop one-on-one contacts with other walk aways. 
This can be done by word of mouth, posting notes on community bulletin 
boards, computer networks (such as Compuserve), and personal ads in 
newspapers. You can write to _Walk_Away_ and ask if there are any 
others in your area who would like to talk with you. Eventually, these 
contacts can develop into a local network where members can exchange 
information and ideas.

Next, people in the network can meet in small groups of three to five 
people. Meeting for a social occasion, such as a potluck meal or at 
a restaurant, is a good idea. But don't rush into organizing too soon. 
Keep things simple and informal, and give people time to talk and 
know one another. Later on, people may be interested in starting a 
larger, more formal support group.

If you and your friends want to start a self-help or support group, 
there are three major questions to ask: where to meet, who can join, 
and what will you talk about? There are a lot of other questions that 
relate to these, but let's stay with the basics for now.

The ideal place to meet would be a room at a community center or public 
library. They are usually centrally located and arrangements for space 
are either free or provided at a very low cost. If not, someone's 
house or apartment can do for a start, or you can rotate from one 
house to another. However, meeting a bunch of strangers in someone 
else's home could be rather awkward for some first-time members. While 
a restaurant may be too public a setting for some to discuss personal 
issues, you may be able to reserve a private room on a regular basis. 
If a mainline church or religious group offers its space, be careful. 
Some ex-fundamentalists may not like walking into a church and there 
could be a conflict of interest. One person should scout around the 
local area and look for suitable meeting places, and then have a list 
of options ready for other people to look over and discuss.

Membership in this support group should be for former members of restrictive 
and abusive religious groups. Family and friends of current and former 
members of such groups may want to have their own support group in 
order to deal with separate issues. These two groupscould exchange 
information and meet together as well. Clergy, counselors, and other 
potential allies can attend meetings and observe, but they should 
understand the need to avoid telling people what to do. As for any 
fundamentalists or cult members who come in to disrupt a meeting, 
do not hesitate to throw them out!

In discussions and activities, the group should steer clear of imposing 
any rigid programs or doctrines, and should definitely avoid imposing 
any set of religious life-stance beliefs on participants. The key 
is to provide structure without crontrol - to guide people towards 
healing and growth, not force them into yet another narrow system. 
Meetings can be centered around open discusions of personal issues. 
Again, there may be separate discussions for family and friends. Once 
a month or so, the group could have special meetings dealing with 
selected topics or concerns, or see a videotape of a movie like _Elmer_
Gantry_, _Inherit_the_Wind_, or _Marjoe_. Above all, stick to being 
a support group! Understanding and dealing with religious abuse should 
be the first priority of your group and its members. Activism against 
cenorship and theocracy are also very important, but these should 
be left to other groups.

Publicity and public relations can attract new members and raise public 
awareness. First, you'll need a name for your group. It should be 
short and easy to remember, and convey an impression of what your 
group is about. Walk Aways is good, but some people might consider 
that too broad. Other possibilities include Battered Souls, Free at 
Last!, or perhaps the acronym SOAR, for survivors of abusive religion.

An ad in the local weekly newspaper will cost a few dollars, but some 
papers also offer free notices in community bulletin sections. Most 
public libraries and supermarkets have bulletin boards where you can 
put up meeting notices. Some local radio stations, as a community 
service, will announce meetings on the air for free (as long as you 
don't pay for advertising elsewhere). You can also talk to sympathetic 
clergy and counselors about referring people to your group.

As you get more established, you might want to consider presentations 
to civic and church groups, radio and TV talk shows, and newspaper 
interviews. Of course, by this time you might have to worry about 
organization and finances. If the group gets larger, one or two people 
cannot do all of the coordination work, and the group may want to 
elect a committee to ahndle a lot of the business aspects. Funds for 
expenses can be raised by modest collections of about one or two dollars 
per person each week.

Last, but not least, remember that numerical growth in membership 
is secondary to personal growth for each member. It's not the size 
of your group that counts, but the size of your heart.

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