Hitler's experiences with the saucer people started when he was an
art student at the Universitat Nincompoopen.  A horrified Ahold was
abducted by a spaceship while trying to pain a nude portrait of
himself in the Black Forest.  The aliens examined the young fuhrer
and pluched samples of hair from the sides of his mustache.  Due to
radiation he was exposed to, the hair never grew back and Hitler
was left with the silliest-looking mustache in history, which made
him a very angry man.

- Flying Saucers Are Everywhere,
  What They Didn't Tell You In History Class
  Tom McHugh, Prometheus Books
  59 John Glenn Drive
  Amherst, New York. 14228-2197