PARENTAL GUIDANCE WARNING This publication is not suitable - and not intended

PARENTAL GUIDANCE WARNING This publication is not suitable -- and not intended -- for those below the legal age of consent in your locale. If you don't meet your local ordnance requirements, stop reading *IMMEDIATELY* and secure your parents permission. Those who do meet local ordnance restrictions should stop and call your parents anyway. Thank them for bringing you into the world. Thank them for raising you. Thank them for teaching you the basics of what you know about being alive. When was the last time you told Mom that you loved her? Not enough, I bet. So go ahead. Call her now. And when you are done, come back and read the latest episode of........ babybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybaby babybaby yba aby byba abyb byba babybaby babybaby bybabyba babybaby byb yba babybaby byb yba ba ba babybaby babybaby yba babybaby yba aby yba ba ba babybaby babybabybabyb yba babybaby byb yba babybaby byb yba ba ba babybaby babybaby yba aby byb yba aby byb yba ba ba babybaby babybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybaby The "Find Out Why They Call Me Stumpy" issue November 14th, 1993 ________________________________________________________ / \ / Editor : Blade X | Back issues found at: \ / bladex@wixer.bga.com | etext.archive.umich.edu ftp \ / Neo-Wobblie Node # 269 | Tejas (512) 467-0663 BBS \ /________________________________________________________________\ AXCESSerpt : Ice-T interview Q: So you've got a book coming out. I-T: Got a book coming out. Book is called _The Ice Opinion, Who Gives a Fuck?_ and it's done. It's a compilation of all my interviews but it's done like one big long meeting -- speaking on topics : education, you know, race. religion, sex, ghetto mentality...and it's like at the end of each chapter it says "Well, that's my opinion on education, who gives a fuck?" Because it's not supposed to be taken as so important, it's just, "Yo, this is how I feel about it" ....it's like one stop shopping for Ice-T, you know what I'm saying. So you could be sitting up and having a real hot argument about something and say "let's see what the fuck Ice says." Then you read it and you say, "Ice is a fucking asshole." Then take it from there. And somebody says, "fuck you, man, he had a point there". INTERACTIVE SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION -or- Ain't got no stinking Listserv here..... So if you look at the backstop, you'll notice that almost every issue has a different essay question. I'll include some more here. First time subscribers : choose the one you'd like to answer. Current subscribers : you are always welcome to participate. Limit : 300 words or less. Question 1 -- Alternative Literature History Suppose that instead of William Gibson, _The Difference Engine_ was co-written by Bruce Sterling and Gabriel Garcia Marquez. (Nobel Prize winner for _100 Years of Solitude_; also well-known for _Love in the Time of Cholera_). Describe the outcome of this literary coupling. Question 2 -- Pacoidspeak Translator The latest issue of Fringeware Review makes heavy use of the phrase "cyberorganics". Free subscription to anyone who can translate into English whatever the hell Jon and Paco are talking about. Alternative selection : neo-tribalism. Question 3 -- Henry Rollins Savage street poet or heavy metal butthead? Question 4 -- alt.cyberpunk.slag Write a RFD for alt.cyberpunk.slag, a special place in cyberspace set aside for those who have nothing better to do but mutter inane variations of _________ sux. I think there should be a place for all the cyberpunk parasites to leech together. Bonus : Top 10 List of fab alt.cyberpunk.slag topics. Starters : Billy Idol *sux* MTV *sux* Mondo 2000 *sux* Wired *sux* Fortress *sux* Tribe *sux* Question 5 -- Alternative Cyberspace Utopians Suppose that the Well is destroyed and all hosts and moderators are dragged into the streets for public execution. Extrapolate. Question 6 -- For Kibo only. James, what are you wearing right at this moment? * * * Send all answers to bladex@wixer.bga.com. * * * SUBMISSION POLICY Fuck you. Start your own damn e-zine. I've made it to issue eight without your sorry ass, what makes ya think I need you now? Writers guidelines? You want writer's guidelines? Go submit to one of those e-zines that are constantly whining for submissions to cover up for the lack of talent, iniative, and material of their own. I don't have time to deal with you posers, and would rather go months before I publish something I'm not going to be totally embarassed about later. Here's my advice, straight from Mike Monteiro, a.k.a. Nervous Dog, a.k.a. X-Girlfriend Graphix : "Giving up is fine" -- Mike Monteiro. You can thank me later. * * * Oops! Outta time boyz and grrrllls. What with the headers and legal warnings and indices and subscription information and disclaimer after disclaimer after disclaimer, there is just no more room for content in the e-zine world. Not that anyone has the attention span to read this far....... Maybe more next week.