Here Begins my entry for Tuesday, the 2nd Day of December,
1986 in the Magical Record of LA-BAJ-AL, Mage-&-Watcher
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
When I was 8 years old, my Uncle Henry began to instruct me in dream
magic & the use of a simplified L.B.R. (lesser Banishing Ritual of the
Pentagram) which used no foreign names -- just visualizations of elemen-
tal attributions with technique to encourage my imagination to fill in
colors, scents, sounds, etc.-- to be performed astrally before sleep &/or
during conscious dreams (especially nightmares!). He also taught me fire
magic (how to build fires, how to talk to fire, how to listen when fire
talks back, etc.). One day, as we were building a fire & sharing magical
secrets with each other, he told me a magical name by which I could call
to him even if he were far away. My uncle Henry's magical name was Let
There Be Light. Over the years, I have used Uncle Henry's name to con-
tact him & talk with him. Using my skilled & guided imagination, I can
relive parts of the past we shared together & I can have new adventures
with him, even though Uncle Henry has been dead for about 20 years now
(c.f., my record of 2« years ago dealing with the series of dream
workings with Uncle Henry & my cousin Sue which led to the BAJ material).
Ten days ago I made a very interesting discovery. While reviewing
Crowley's Sex Magickal Diaries for his NYC period, I found mention of a
Frater F(iat) L(ux). Grant (as Crowley's editor) states there is no
record of who this frater might be. Fiat Lux is the latin equivalent of
Let There Be Light.
Was my Uncle Henry the same Frater F.L. mentioned by Crowley?? I feel
that he was, although I have no proof to substantiate my belief. Uncle
Henry was a high ranking mason. He had a set of Crowley's Equinox (10
white books + 1 blue one), back many years before Weiser issued the re-
print series. He educated me into Magick & into the substance of Thelema,
but did not even mention any dogma. I was being raised as a strict Roman
Catholic & he was a close friend of my family. I am very thankful that
Uncle Henry did not confuse me by contradicting anything I was being
taught at home or school. He taught me ethics & the ability to tell
right from wrong; he did not load me down with moral principles. He gave
me magical tools, not dogma.
He had some sort of old scroll on his wall, which he referred to as his
Charter. Beyond that, I know very little. The charter was dated 1901,
the year my Dad was born (so I remember the date). If this was (as I
believe) an OTO charter, then his lineage seems to go back directly to
Reuss (or perhaps to someone else), rather than thru Crowley.
Have I been an initiate of the OTO (in this lifetime) since age 8? I
do not really know how to answer that question. My Uncle Henry taught me
dream control & how to cast a circle. He taught me lots of `down-home'
folksy magic like calling to the wind or asking the clouds to move away
from the sun. He taught me how to talk with my Holy Guardian Angel,
which the catholic nuns talked about, but could not (or would not) teach
me how to contact. He taught me the meaning of ritual by exposing photo-
graphic film to direct sunlight (thus completing the film's yearning for
light), then feeding the exposed film to fire. [He referred to this rit-
ual as a symbolic enactment of 2=1=0 & told me I would have to discover
other enactments of this mystery for myself!]
All he taught me was without `strings'. I took no dire oaths. I signed
no documents. He asked nothing of me other than that I do my best to
discover my True Will & to do my best each & every day to do my Will as
best I could -- which was quite enough for a little kid who was being
ordered around by a bunch of Dominican penguins, who thought it was their
right/duty to instruct me what-&-how to think.
It is as though my happening upon the mention of Frater F.L. ten days
ago has awakened a catena of initiation within me which has long lain
dormant. I haven't done magic (in the flesh) with my Uncle Henry since
puberty & I haven't seen him since he died back in the `60s -- although I
do talk with him in dreams and I do magick with him in waking visions.
When (in 1958) I moved away from his neo-Tudor profess house in Flushing
NY, magic & Thelema became a dream. High School, puberty, & growing-up
took their place in the forefront of my existence.
In 1968 I re-discovered magic (via Richard, the Mad Chemist) and the
writings of Aleister Crowley. I became a Crowlean scholar & I encorpor-
ated magick into the core of my being. I remembered the old books which
my Uncle had shown me, and the lessons he taught me from real-life, but
I never thought to question whether he was a part of the Order. On July
6th, 1972 I formally accepted the Law of Thelema & began searching-out
the A.'.A.'. & the OTO.
When I could not locate any viable Branches of the Order manifesting
upon the outer, I made 3 oaths, the last of which is only now (some 14
years later) coming to fruition.
First, I vowed to seek-out Liber LXV, (which Crowley stated was to be
given to each Probationer of the A .'.A.'., but which not then in
print) and begin my studies within the A.'.A.'.. I imagined Crowley
as my superior within the Order and vowed to work under him (thru
his books) until I could rightfully function as his magickal son,
as a Master of the Temple. Crowley's Equinox was in the Cornell U.
Rare Books Room, but the Blue Equinox (containing Liber LXV) was
not in Cornell's collection. Shortly after I made this oath, the
Blue Equinox materialized for me very unexpectedly!
The rare book room librarian tripped as she was carrying a stack of
Equinoxes to me. The Blue Equinox landed on my desk, right side up,
and opened to the correct page. Instant samadhi! Choirs of
angels singing in my ears, colored lights blazing on the page,
instant visuals of 3 secret chiefs conferring me with their
blessings, etc., etc. -- all these special effects years before I
discovered psychedelics! Wow! When I recovered my senses, I asked
the librarian where the Blue Equinox had come from. She shrugged
her shoulders, smiled at me & said "maybe by magic".
Second, I vowed to publish Liber CCXX in order to promulgate the Law
of Thelema on the outer & attract to myself those whose Will is
aligned to my own. Together we would tackle the Great Work as best
we could until such time as links to the inner Order were complet-
ed. I co-published Liber CCXX with Soror Tanith in March of 1976.
By 1977 I was putting all my magickal energies into the Typhonian
OTO (publishing MEZLA, reading probationers' records. etc.), and I
had `shelved' my vows regarding becoming a Master of the Temple --
after all, I had already found the Order! Why bother to formulate
my own links when I could simply use Grant's catena? [I was also
feeling very humble at that time & felt I was not worthy to make my
own links directly with the A.'.A.'. until I had worked my way up
thru the ranks of the Typhonian OTO.]
By 1981 I had co-formulated this Powerzone (Math of the ChRySTAL
HUMM) with Soror 0-Maku(tz), and our magick here had begun to run
a-foul of Grant's vision of the Order. By hindsight, I can see
that we had (quite unconsciously) begun to reify our links with
the Fountainhead of the Order for ourselves. It was my disagree-
ments with Grant which prompted me to examine, up-date, then ful-
fill my third oath.
Third, once I had established myself as a functional Master of the
Temple of the A.'.A.'., I vowed to re-establish the catena of init-
iation within the Order from Malkuth up thru the Abyss according to
the Charter granted to me by One Star in Sight and Liber A'Ash vel
Capricorni Pneumatici. Between 1979 and 1983, I amended this oath
(first made in 1972), as I became more aware of my True Will.
1. I had no interest in being a Master of the Temple, as that is
Crowley's office. Instead, I aspired to Mastery in the field of
Alchemy and have functioned in this office for the past 5 years.
The external Universe is my mirror. Every interaction I have with
any person, being, object, or force in the Universe is a direct
communication of the multiverse with my soul, and I treat them
accordingly. I examine, evaluate, and answer all communications
in accord with my Will.
2.I have also come to realize that although Crowley's vision of the
Order is/was pyramidal, such a structure is not in accord with my
Will. It is neither my Will nor desire to spend my life working to
reify Crowley's (or anyone else's) vision of the Order.
According to One Star in Sight, members of the Order of the Silver
Star "exist in their own Truth, which is both universal and uni-
que, yet coherent within the universal will. They perceive (that
is, understand, know, & feel) in love, which is both unique and
universal." Crowley further states "Members of the Order are each
entitled to found Orders dependent upon themselves...to cover
types of emancipation and illumination not contemplated by the
original...system." In speaking of those aspiring to the Grade of
Master, Crowley divulges what seems to me to be the key to my
differences with Grant (& other Masters of our Order) when he says
"He [who aspires to being a Master] must then decide upon the
critical adventure of our Order". It would seem that (for me)
the critical adventure of our Order is the formulation &
reification of a non-hierarchal network of Masters, each doing
their own Will & all working on the Great Work!
At present, the vehicles I choose to work my Will are as follows:
On the outer, I work within the Chthonic OTO, co-founded by myself, SAM
Webster, & Cliff Pollick. Maggie Ingalls is also recognized as a Master
amongst us. Within a year, I suspect we will have as many Masters as the
Typhonian OTO had members in 1981, when Tanith cast away her seat in the
Typhonian Sovereign Sanctuary. [note: 12/87 -- we do not yet have the
number of Masters I predicted last year, but membership is now up to
about 20, including 2 from Australia!]
On the inner, I work within the 11-Star, which is that lustrous crystal-
lization of the A.'.A.'. formulated by Nema, in `79 (or so) as an alter-
native to the linear catena outlined in One Star in Sight
On a personal level, I balance within myself using my various catena
of initiation. From my Uncle Henry, I feel initiated Wisdom & un-preten-
tious simplicity which emanates from Chokmah. From Aossic Aiwas I learn
knowledge of the Abyss & of the Courts of Chaos. From Grady I learn
understanding of how to pull-together a viable & functional Magickal
Order. Upon my own (which much thanks to thanks to Uncle AL, Aiwass, &
the rest of the gang), I tap-into the Kether-point. I AM a visible
manifestation of the Order. Upon Malkuth, I function as a Chief of the
Chthonic OTO. Upon the inner, I function within the 11-Star -- sometimes
upon the Throne of Chesed, but mainly as a Spider-God upon the Throne of
`Um-Ur-Atwiel from within the nexus which is Da„th.
Love is the law, love under will.
Here ends my entry in the Magical Record of OTz PTN--690
and Frater PVN, Master of Re-Creative Alchemies
for this 2nd Day of December, 1986e.v.
* * *
Here Begins my entry for Friday, the 5thDay of December, 1986
in the Magical Record of LA-BAJ-AL, Mage-&-Watcher
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Lots of wonderful bizarre strange dreams these days. I am now living
alone. I love being able to sleep uninterrupted & to work without anyone
bothering me. I have lots of company (mainly MaryAnn & Earil) so I have
companionship too. Talk about having my cake & eating it too!
In one of my dreams last night, I was at an OTO convention. It was
held in a marvelous castle. It looked more like an SCA meet combined
with a pagan-fest & a Science Fiction Worldcon than a meeting of the OTO!
Lots of folks from many branches of the Order. Lots of parting. Lots of
ritual, both formal (a program & everything!) & informal thru-out every
day & night. Lots of talking & getting to know one-another. Part way
thru I realized that the gathering was more than social. It was also a
political convention to work out a viable inter-Branch structure for the
Order.
As members from the Caliphate pre-dominated, I assumed that they would
vote as a block and the larger multi-Branch OTO would become no more than
a front group for the Caliphate Branch of the Order. Boy, was I wrong!
Nobody seemed to care about any party lines. Everyone was an individual
Thelemite & acted accordingly. Sure, people had friends, pet ideas, &
gripes. But they also talked with people outside of their affinity
groups & partied with everyone! They listened openly to those who came
from different perspectives, & worked hard to reach innovative solutions
without any need to compromise.
I had stayed away from all the interim committees & plenary sessions,
spending my time/energies instead on working with individuals to share
magick in Circle & throw some wild anarchist ideas around at late-night
informal gatherings around the watchfire. I never asked anyone for their
OTO grade, rank, or title, but I assumed (by their open minds) that I was
dealing mainly with new initiates &/or Masters -- for I had found that
those of mid-Rank in any organization are the most closed-minded.
At the end of the Gathering, there was a big party with a big pageant
& parade. The culmination was a coronation of sorts, for the interim
committees had formulated a loose-knit structure for the Order which had
several offices. Those who filled these offices would define them in
accord with Will & nobody was being asked to subjugate their Will to any
edict by any officer(s). Sounded good to me, but I was still suspicious.
In my opinion, the Order certainly could use some figureheads who were
personable magickians able to think on their feet, & who would not become
too ego-attached to their office to continue their growth. These offic-
ers could concentrate/disseminate information, give their informed magic-
kal opinions on topical OTO issues, represent the Order on TV, mediate
squabbles, & direct aspirants toward viable Order contacts, but I still
thought that the Caliphate would be in charge & therefore would direct
aspirants only to one of its chartered groups & have their own axe to
grind in offering opinions.
I attended the `contest' anyway. I had been so out of it that I did
not even know what the offices were to be, much less who the Candidates
were. As I entered the courtyard, I was stopped by two Knights Templar
in full regalia. They escorted me over to a Priestess, who looked very
young & very officious (much like MA's daughter Mellanie).
The guards began to question me as to my Grade, etc. They did not
use words, but gestures. One would give an elaborate sign & wait for my
reply. When I did not reply, the other gave another sign. The process
was repeated back-&-forth for at least 10 minutes. I became bored very
quickly. For the most part, I ignored them (preferring, instead, to
flirt with the young priestess), for I felt that my fears about the Cali-
phate had already come true & I would fail their little tests no matter
what I did.
When they finally got down to the thumb squeezings of the Minerval
grade, I acknowledged them in proper form, after scanning the yard &
shielding my eyes from the sun, then scratching my balls absentmindedly
with the same thumb. As I was naked, I then sniffed my finger, smiled, &
sighed at the Priestess. She smiled at my slightly grumpy response to
the quiz, then asked me if I had any other grades or titles I wished
written next to my name. As I looked over at her I saw that she had some
sort of registry book, which was open to a list of names, including my
own. The page was nearly full. I told her that I had enough grades & tit-
les to fill several pages, but most of them were meaningless, except to
me, or my close magickal family.
She asked me once again what titles I wanted next to my name. When I
looked even more bored at her, she closed the book & asked me what my
Will was concerning my place within the Order. Since she had just shifted
the conversation from want to Will, I answered her fully & honestly. I
told her that in the Caliphate I was a lapsed Minerval on bad report. In
the Typhonian OTO I had been expelled from the Vø. She smiled at me
again & asked me if that was how I defined my place within the Order. I
looked at her long & hard. All the external trappings seemed to indicate
that she & the guards were simply pawns in the Caliphate's bid to power.
But she did not seem to me to be acting like a pawn. She looked & acted
like a Priestess. I owed it to her (and to myself) to treat her as such.
So I looked her in the eye, mentally/astrally centered within myself,
invoked all my various mantels of office & told her that I am OTz PTN--
690, a Prince of the outer Court. I reveal this rank/office to all who
ask, for I am recognized within the company of the OTO at large. When in
the company of those with whom I reveal my inner nature & work the Magick
of the Order-on-the-inner, I am LA-BAJ-AL--75, Mage-&-Watcher, a co-
founding Sovereign of the Chthonic OTO. To those who attempt power-over
trips on me or on the Order at large, I invoke PVN--156 into my being.
Within the linear 10-step scheme for the OTO used by the Caliphate & by
the Typhonian OTO, frater 690 is a Vø, 75 is a Xø(but not O.H.O.) and 156
has no rank at all, for he is a revolutionary within the Order, so (as an
anarchist rebel) he cannot attain to any office whatsoever.
The Priestess rose from her seat, anointed my third eye with blood of
her loins, & bade me pass into the courtyard. I did so. The crowd was a
bit much for me, so I climbed the battlements & watched the festivities
from up above. I was puzzled by the interchange at the gate, but put it
out of my mind as I watched the carnival below me. I then realized that
not once during the week previous had I spent any time with anyone I knew
in the Order. SAM had been very busy within the plenary sessions. I had
seen Cliff around-&-about, but he had been more interested in the formal
rituals than I. At night, I had expected to see him at trip Circle, but
he had departed each night to work his nurse's job. Arian had been busy
working her sex magicks, but I was tripping too hard most of the time to
be really interested in sex. I had spent most of my time talking Thelem-
ic-Anarchist philosophy with lots of folk I hardly knew, then tripping my
brains out with beings who did not really seem human. They referred to
themselves as observers from the stars & (at least while I was tripping)
I could easily take them at their word.
SAM then drove up to me in a bright red sportscar & interrupted my
musings. I told me to hop in, so I did so. He then drove down a big ramp
to the center of the main stage. The crowd was cheering wildly. SAM hop-
ped out of the car & told me to slide-over to the driver's seat. I was
bewildered & a bit befuddled, but I complied. SAM raised his arms & the
crowd gave him the silence he had asked for. He thanked them graciously
& turned meaningfully to me before continuing. He said that there were
probably only a few folks here who did not really know what was going on,
but as at least one of those few was a friend of his, he would retell the
tale of the council meeting.
He told how there had been much honest discussion, seasoned with a few
outbursts of frustration, but consensus had finally been reached. As the
council had been open to all, anyone who didn't bother to come hadn't any
real grounds for complaint. He said that the Council had decided as
follows:
First! Each & every initiated member, powerzone, & Branch of the Order
vows to recognize every other member, powerzone, & Branch of the Order by
whatever rank(s) they each individually claim to hold.
Second! From this pool of initiates, individuals had been chosen to rep-
resent certain classes of initiates to the world-at-large & to fill
public offices dealing with inter-Branch harmony.
Third! These officers would function forever unless:
a) They abdicated thru death.
b) They were impeached by another grand council of other initiates
c) They went into hermitage, & their duties were given to another.
If/When an abdicated officer re-incarnated with sufficient memory to re-
claim his/her office, or should a hermit come out of hermitage, s/he
would co-serve their office along with whomever was appointed his/her
successor until one of them chose to move-on to another office.
Fourth! While the Council could give some initial labels to these offic-
es, it was up to the individual officeholders to evolve/expand/focus
their offices in accord with Will.
Fifth! Liber Oz & Liber AL would serve as guidelines for settling dis-
putes.
The audience went wild! Brothers & Sisters hugged one-another. Various
banners were un-furled all along the walls of the courtyard, while every-
one cheered them all. I was swept away on a wave of beatific emotion. It
was wonderful. Very anarchistic, yet functional & orderly, too! I par-
ticularly liked the part about all grades being accepted. I have liked
this particular aspect of á-Cabal's groundrules for years & I was over-
joyed at seeing it implemented into the OTO at large.
Then SAM gestured dramatically (as only SAM can do!) & a marching band
began a pompous (yet humorous) drumroll to accompany his theater. He
pointed to himself, & thanked everyone for asking him to become Official
Order Bard & Master of Ceremonies. The young Priestess who interviewed
me at the gate then ascended the stage & officially invested him into
office. He was given his mantle of office -- a magnificent multicolored
Austrailian cowboy hat with a huge ostrich plume, and a bullet-proof
sarap‚ lined with mystical symbols to get him past any border guard on
the planet (i.e., passports from 33 countries; gold, opium, & pornography
for bribes, Santa's list of who's naughty & nice, etc.). The Knights
Templar then stepped-foward & gave him his magickal weapons -- a cord-
less microphone, with batteries guaranteed to last a full ’on, & a
portable computer (with full publishing capabilities
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