Date: Wed 23 Mar 88 21:57:10    From: Zhahai Stewart (on 1:104/93)

Not that y'all are really that interested, but... 

Am 37, born morning (no time) of Aug 24, 1950, a bit into Virgo for those who 
think that means anything.  Never got any degree, (beyond high school) tho I 
have about enough university CS for a BS; I would still be quite a bit short 
on the other stuff tho.  I work as a computer consultant. 

I was brought up generic protestant (whatever's local and bland where we 
moved), then was influenced by my Assy of God grandmother to whom I was close 
and with whom I lived for some while. "Holy rollers".  Hey, those folks 
weren't bland, they had spirit.  Sometimes it is hard to imagine how different 
I was in high school; very straight, figured that the tragedy of it all was 
that the rapture would probably come before I got a chance to get married and 
find out about sex in person (in that order, of course). Nevertheless, I was 
never saved, through the many times I sat there and fought contradictory 
impulses while people filed down to the front of the church.  Never really 
felt right.  Then after high school, I got to seriously questioning all of my 
beliefs, with the sharp knife of logic.  I was a pain to be around for 
ordinary religious folks, 'cause I asked uncomfortable questions all the time 
(and there were no thoughtful rabbis in my circle of acquaintances, just 
ordinary folks who wanted comfort from their religion, not questions).  Then 
followed years of low key agnosticism, as my energy went to other things. 

Enjoyed college, tho I sorta drifted off and stopped going to classes that I 
was not interested in, after a few years.  Not wise: my most common grade was 
A, followed by F, with a few Bs and not much else.  Protested the war, grew 
long hair (which I still have 20 years later), joined the counter culture, 
etc.  Rebelled against the technocrat I was suited to be.  Worked for a few 
years as a ditch digger, hay hauler, handyman, etc.  Finally decided that I 
was bored as well as broke, and got back into computers. Back door approach - 
contract jobs leading to part time leading to full time leading to becoming a 
senior software engineer.  Have a talent and at least sometimes really enjoy 
the work.  Went back to college for a while (very different attitude, no point 
in paying for a class you are not gonna work at, no incompletes or B,C,D's 
this time), but that seemed like an expensive hobby, fun if I had the time but 
not essential.  I am back to being a consultant by choice now (well, sometimes 
it is inner choice rather than logical decision making). 

Took up with my other half 11 years ago; got our union certified by the state 
for pragmatic reasons alone about 4 years ago.  No kids, and only one 16 year 
old cat now, who won't allow another pet. 

We used to be active members of a group called Beyond Monogamy Inc, which was 
not unlike Family Synergy, but was Denver based (we were mainstays of the 
Boulder subgroup).  Complicated personal stuff took a bit of my energy then. 
(Years later, it is doing so again...). 

About 3 years ago, my wife and I went to Nicaragua and got very involved in 
Central American issues.  She was chair for a while for the local sister city 
project.  I founded and still edit the newsletter for that group.  We  have a 
very critical analysis of US foreign policy, tho not Marxian.  I am not a 
socialist, tho a number of my friends are; at this stage I am more clear about 
the problems, and about positive directions, than about ultimate goals.  Not 
much of a utopian.  Am more active now than in the VietNam days,  put more 
work into it.  This BBS is part of my Central American efforts. 

I am a pagan; I realized this shortly after coming into contact with pagans. I 
am not really a Witch yet, altho I identify most strongly with wiccan paganism 
- but I am not initiated or really very developed yet. 

I have long been a watcher of human "energy", not specifically magickal. I pay 
a lot of attention to where people are apparently "coming from".  We all need 
"strokes", but people vary a good deal in how they go about getting them.  The 
person I have to watch the most is myself, of course.  One of  the things I 
have been surprised about is how little some people in the  craft seem to be 
aware on this level sometimes, even if they are vastly more  capable in 
working with magickal energies than I am.  The two are apparently rather 
different, but my path has to be integrating both levels of energy awareness.  
For me, the direction of my path is more important than the speed. Maybe I was 
a magickal power seeker some other go around and need to work on the 
"steering" this time. 

I am really looking forward to the coming years, with many openings awaiting 
attention.  The Craft beckons.  I am also trying to figure out if I am part of 
a threesome or a twosome, shall I say, which has been interesting if not 
always without pain.  Technically, some very interesting stuff is coming my 
way (perhaps more than I want to invest my time in, "career development" 
having already taken so much energy...).  I like the political activists who 
make up the largest group of my friends, and that work has become a permanent 
part of my life.  I have almost accepted that I will never have enough time to 
read a tenth of what I want to (tho not quite).  I am about to ramble, so I'll 
cut it off here and embed myself.  B*B ~z~ 

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 * Origin: Adelante - 300 meters above Boulder, CO (Opus 1:104/93)