{ed Trek Parody-of-the-month-club strikes again}
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- This is an original, by myself which stems from some problems our department
  has been having with IBM mainframes, specifically their channel protocol...

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We join the Starship Enterprise on the way to investigate a BORG invasion....

Picard: "Report, Data."

Data: Most interesting sir, it appears that the BORG have absorbed IBM into
      their network.

Riker: Sounds like a big problem.  (brilliant Riker)

Data: Actually sir, it has become a bit of a problem for the BORG sir.

Picard:  Explain, Mr. Data.

Data: Well captain, it seems that the TSO and JES syntax have the BORG at a
          loss.

Dianna: I am sensing great confusion from the BORG captain.

Riker:  With all that computing power, surely they can decipher the commands?

Data:  Well sir, they have all their circuits working on it.  Ever since the IBM
           integration they seem to have problems with their networks.

Picard:  How so, Mr. Data.

Data:  I will attempt to take advantage of the confusion within the BORG and
           link in.

Picard:  Make it so, Mr. Data.

Data:   I believe I have found their problem, Captain.  All of my attempts to
        connect have met with a common result, as do all the BORG's attempts to
        network.  IBM has replaced the BORGs communications channels.  All
        attempts at decryption of TSO and JES results in a
        "Possible Data Loss" message.  The BORG is getting frustrated.

        Wait, I'm getting an enormous power reading.....  they are firing at us
        sir.

Picard: Shields up!!!

Riker:  What was that?  It looked like a tremendous pile of metal.

Data:  I believe that was the BORG expelling the IBM mainframes sir.  The BORG
       anti-bodies identified them as non-deterministic, and flawed.

Worf:  Picking up some inter-BORG communications sir.

Picard: On speaker.

BORG:  Computing Violation, IBM dumped.

Data:  Their systems are communicating again sir.

Deanna:  I sense a feeling of great relief sir.  The BORG are happy.