Warning.  This passage contains material that may be offensive to
sensitive readers.  Parental discretion is advised.
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One day,  the Enterprise is docked in Starbase 69.  Data takes a short
period of shore leave to investigate the local surroundings to add to his
memory files.  He encounters a female Betazoid of questionable morals
on his journey through a seedier part of the Starbase.....


"Hello, madam.  What is the nature of your placement in this area?"

"Well, I don't know.  I was kinda looking for some action if you know what
I mean."

"No, I would need further data to analyse the reason for your existence in
this place.  Exactly what sort of action were you seeking?"

"Oh, I don't know.  Why don't you slip off your clothes and show me a good
time?"

"It is hard to show a person a good time.  One experiences.. ah!"  "You are
speaking in a colloquial fashion, are you not? By good time, you mean having
sexual relations, intercourse, engaging in sexual activities. Is this correct?"

"Why, sure, baby.  Now come on! No more excuses.  Slip me your boney joney,
honey."

"I am not really a baby.  I am past the human period of years considered to be
infancy.  I am not giving excuses, either.  I am merely trying to ascertain
the nature of your request.  In regards to your request, I would wish to know
why I should follow it, at the same time informing you that I am not human
and could most likely not carry out the acts that you are in search of."

"Honey, I'll be the captain.  You just follow along with my directions.
I'm getting tired of hearing you, now I want to FEEL you!" 

"If your rank is captain, then I must comply with your wishes as you are a
superior to me.  In that case, I will remove my clothing."

"Oh, yeah.  That's the way to do it.  MMMMMMmmm!  Yeah.  Oh, wow!  You are
such a hunk, baby."

"May a inquire, a hunk of what?"

"A hunk of meat, sweetheart.  Now come over here and let's get down to it."

"I have arrived at the conclusion that the only way to make this meeting
more amicable is to attempt to operate in a similar manner to you, but I 
feel I must still inform you that I am not composed of meat, but metal and
electronic circuits.  Now, what would you like me to do, infant?"

"Oh, baby, you're a coy one, aren't you?  Bring that long shlong here and kiss
me all over."

"I will do so, sugary central pumping unit.  I will kiss you here, and here
and over here.  It will take a while to kiss your entire body, however."

"Oh, yeah!  I can't stand it!  Plung your rod deep within my loins!!"

"My rod?  Ah, yes!  Hmmm.  There.  Are you finding this to be an enjoyable
experience?"

"Oh, YEAH!  Now pull it in and out.  Pump me.  Oh, God, pump me!"

"A peculiar action this is.  I cannot see any pleasure that I would be
giving to you.  It appear more to be a type of impalement.  Very well.
I will continue since it appears to be giving your a sense of satisfaction."

"Oh, that feels so goooooood.  Talk dirty to me.  Tell me about it all."

"Dirty?  Filth.  Grime.  Dust.  Sand.  Sludge.  Mire.  Muck..."

"Mmmmmmm.  Describe it now.  Tell me what you're going to do to my hot,
throbing box."

"Accessing Earth slang, reproductive and sexual vocabulary storage.  Delete
reproductive access.  No reproduction will take place. 
Oh, yeah, infant.  Take my lengthy member.  Sense those pulsations of deep
emotion.  Take it all."

"Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah!  Oh, YEAH!"

"Do not fight it.  You desire it.  Experience that deep drilling sensation.
You will be arriving at the point of orgasm shortly.  Come on. Let us go."

"Do it to me.  Yes!"

"Feel my pumping motion deep within your orifice.  Cry aloud with ecstasy."

"I'm coming. Oh, yeah, I'm coming."

"Pardon me, but you are already here.  From where are you coming?"

"Mmmmmmm!  Yes!  MMMMMMMM!  YES!"

"'Yes' does not answer my question.  What is your point of departure?"

"Oh, yeah! HERE.  NOW.  YES.  YEEEEEEEES!  OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!"

"I regret I need an exact location.  You cannot come here from here."

"Oh, wow!  That was wonderful."

"It was?  This action was wonderful?"

"Yes.  Now get your clothes on and fuck off!"

"Fuck off?  I do not comprehend how one can successfully perform sexual
intercourse off.  Please explain......"