Picard:  Captain's Log, Star Date unknown.  The Enterpise has just come out
         of Warp speed from an appearent "accident" with our Warp Engines.
         I sent Cmd. Ryker down to Engineering to find out what happened"

Ryker: [On Communicator]  Captain, Ensign Wesley was playing with the warp
            drive controls again - shall we toss him in the brig?

Picard:  Oh no, Number One, you know that ever since that alien in the show
         "Where No One has gone Before" told me to encourage his learning I
         have let him play with every control system on the ship!  Hehehe,
         poor kid was simply having fun.  I think that even though he placed
         3,100 human lives in danger we can let this pass as usual, right
         Ryker?

Ryker:  Of course Sir - we'll just do the usual "naughty little child" speech
        and send him down to Transporter Control so he can tinker with that.
        Ryker out.

Picard: Hehehe - Kids today, always getting into trouble aren't they?
        Reminds me when I was....

Troi: CAPTAIN!  Shouldn't you be thinking up a way to get us out of here?

Picard: Oh yes, you're quite right...okay so where are we, Data?

Data:  Appoximately 25 years before our show went on Television Sir.  In the
       days of the Free Speech Movement, Vietnam,  Food for peace, The Cuban
       Missile Crisis, Civil Rights, Protesting, Drug Experimenting, The
       Beatles, Woodstock...

Picard: JUST THE FACTS, DATA!

Data:  Well, to put it simply, we have travled back in time Sir.  Back to the
       days when GOD...er I mean..Gene Roddenbury first started writing these
       scripts...you know back in the dark times.

Picard: Yes Data I know of it - Worf, Yar what do the scanners show?

Worf:  Captain, unidentified craft is approaching us.  It is registered as -
       CAPTAIN!  The U.S.S. Enterprise!

Picard: NO!  You mean the original ship with all of it's flaws and mistakes
         that we were created to improve upon?  You mean the mold for which
         90% of our series has copied line for line, story for story?

Worf: Yes Sir, and it is pulling into orbit around us captain.

Picard: Well then I guess it's time to do the all famous, completely over
          used, everyone give a suggestion to the captain scene.

Yar: We should take 5 hostages from their ship and torture them until...

Picard: Thanks, Yar - anyone else?

Worf:  I say we fight to the last man and self-destruct the ship.

Ryker: Of course - Never says anything

Yar: Captain - communication from the other Enterprise

Picard: Put it on visual, Yar.

[The screne clears and Kirk is on viewer - Sulu, Checkov, Uhura, Spock are in
 the background]

Kirk This is the USS Enterprise calling unidentified ship, can you read me?

Picard: Enterprise, this is the USS Enterprise of your future.  My name is
        Captain Picard.  I want you to know that I surr..."

Troi: NO!  Captain you DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

Picard: ..Ah, yes...er I invite you over here to see what your future looks
        like.  We are from the year 1987 - Where Gene is given a new job
        after 25 years and gets to recreate a New Generation of Star Trek.
        Enterprise, we are the Next Generation!"

Spock:  Captain he refered to Gene Roddenbury.  I believe he was the one that
        got all of us into this mess.  I believe that he might be telling the
        truth.

Kirk:  Commander Enterprise - Prepare to recieve us

[In the Transporter Room]
[Kirk Materializes with Spock, McCoy and Scotty]

Picard:  Welcome to the Enterprise, Captain Kirk.  My name is Picard.

Kirk  Hello Mr. Picard, this is my first officer Mr. Spock, Chief Medical
      officer McCoy and Engineer Mr. Scott.

Scott: [See's Worf]  A Klingon!  [Pulls his phaser] "I canna believe it!
      How'd this nastly little beastie get on 'er ship?  Captain, I knew this
      was a Klingon trap!

Kirk:  Easy Scotty, lets let Picard explain to us about this - Captain? 

Picard:  Well..um..ah - you see, Gene Decided that there would be this new
         alien in 1987 and it would be named the Ferengi..and uh...we would
         pretend like all the aggressions of the past didn't happen and we
         are all friends now and there is no real explaination...uh 

Kirk:  I see.  You mean to tell me that we have to be friends!!!  After all
       I've gone through - and now Gene makes us friends!!  Where's the script
       writer..LET ME AT 'EM, LET ME AT 'EM!!!!

Spock:  Hypo him, doctor! 

McCoy: [Hypo's Him]  Easy, Jim.  Here's a sedative.

Scotty:  Alright Klingon - at ease.  I guess Gene has his reasons, but someday
         I'll get even. 

Kirk:  Whew! I'm okay now.  Shall we tour the ship gentlemen? 

[Picard leads them to the bridge]

Picard:  This is the bridge gentlemen...

Spock: [See's Wesley] Facinating, Captain, they use teenagers on the bridge!

Kirk:  Picard, why do you allow teenagers on the bridge? 

Picard:  Well..uh captain, you see Gene has determinded that today's viewing
         audience is below the age of 13 years old.  Therefore, all of us
         that have spend years and years working for Star Fleet and attending
         the academy have been outclassed by...you guessed it...someone that
         is 1/3 of our age.  Let me show you...Wesley? 

Wesley:  Yes, Captain? 

Picard:  I want you to turn my communicator into a combination phaser rifle
         and grenade launcher, okay? 

Wesley:  But of course, Captain, right away! 

McDougal:  Captain, I have been an Engineer for 27 years and I am absolutely
           positive that that cannot possibly be done! 

Wesley:  What?  You must be the dumbest, stupidest person I know!!  All you
         have to do is push these three buttons, turn this dial, pull down this
         lever, turn this gidget [this goes on for another 30 seconds]
         and presto - what is absolutely, positively impossible is done!

Picard:  Isn't that amazing!  I mean my Engineer now looks like the biggest
          dolt on the ship...but boy...doesn't Wesley look intelligent! 

Spock:  Facinating, Captain - the kid actually does "steal the show" as the
        20th century producers used to call it.

Scotty:  Ay - but if he was in my Engineer'in section and double talked my like
         that I'd have 'em placed into the matter/anti-matter condenser to
         be sure.

Kirk:  Uh-huh...well, I think we'd better be getting back now.

Picard:  So soon, I was going to let Ryker show you the rest of the ship.

Spock:  This unit..er..person seems to serve no purpose - what does he do?

Picard:  ..er..uh well he takes over for people when they should be doing it
         themselves.  He's like a Wesley in reverse - he takes over someone
         elses job and screws it up worse than they would have done otherwise.
         But he always looks like a hero in the end.

Kirk: [putting on a faked smile]  Well isn't that helpful!

[Pulling his Communicator]

Kirk:  Sulu, 4 to transport back.

Wesley:  Wait - Remember I made modifications to our transporter!  Can I
         transport you back, can I, can I? 

Kirk:  Well..uh..okay - Sulu belay that order - we'll let use the new
       Enterprise transporters instead.

Wesley:  Weeeeeeeeee!  Okay here we go!  Locking on to your coordinates...
         okay...beaming!

COMPUTER: MALFUNCTION, MALFUNCTION, MALFUNCTION -

Kirk:  Hey...uh...AAARRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

         [And the rest is...uh...history!]