Any critics out there? I'm including a first attempt at posting a story of mine. Drop me a

Any critics out there? I'm including a first attempt at posting a story of mine. Drop me a line email and/or post, and let me know. If enough people like it, I can post more. And yes, I _KNOW_ others have written parodies on similar themes. I don't need to waste time reading the flames. *----------------------------------------------------------------------* "CAPTAIN'S LOG: StarDate 45934.6 . We are currently orbiting around a planet surrounded by strange cosmic storms. The planet's inhabitants have a naturally occurring supply of dilithium crystals, and it is our job to open communications between the planet and the Federation, in hopes that we can open up trade between the two cultures. Against my first officer's recommendations, I will be leading the away team on this mission, accompanied only Counselor Troi and Chief Engineer LaForge." Picard switched the log off, and sat back in his Captain's chair, characteristically tugging down on his uniform shirt. After a moment, he swung out of the chair, and walked over to the dis- penser at his right. "Tea, Earl Grey, hot," he commanded. The console bleeped, and a steaming mug materialized on the platform. Picard reached for the mug, and walked to his desk, pausing only to sip at his tea. As he sat down, his communicator was activated. "Riker to Picard," came the voice. "Picard here, Number One. What is your report?" Riker paced around the transporter room, Chief O'Brien trying to stifle a laugh. "Captain," replied Riker, " Geordi and Troi are waiting for you in Transporter Room number 3." "Right, Number One. expect me there shortly." In the Transporter Room, Geordi and Troi were setting their equipment for the beamdown when Picard strode in. He was armed with a pocket phaser and a tricorder, and seemed to radiate brilliance at the idea of getting to lead an away team. Without a word, he strode up to the transporter platform, where Troi and LaForge joined him. "Good luck, sir," said Riker. "Understood, Number One." Picard showed a brief smile, and then signalled to the Chief. "Energize." The three figures coalesced into shimmering pillars of light, and then vanished, leaving the two men quite alone. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "FIRST OFFICER'S LOG. It has been three hours since Captain Picard and his away team have beamed down to the planet. Since then, the cosmic storm surrounding the planet have increased in intensity. Chief O'Brien informs me that unless the away team signals soon, he may not be able to retrieve them until the storm dies down." The bearded first officer sat back in the command chair, and surveyed the bridge. The android second officer sat at ops, and the conn was taken up by Ensign Gibson. Riker's eye followed her curves for a moment, and then continued up the bridge. There were a few ensigns, and the Security Officer. He sat up, and walked to ops, laying his hand on the android's shoulder. "Tell me how the storms are proceeding, my android friend," he asked. The android slowly swivelled his head, and gazed at Riker. "If the current activity continues for another 15 minutes, 54.03 seconds, we will be unable to retrieve the captain and the away team, commander." "Small loss," replied Riker. "Commander, if you don't remove your hand from my shoulder, SIR, I will be forced to remove it quite painfully," replied the android. "Commander Lore, you are OUT of line!" shouted Riker. "I know it's tense, but you have no right to speak to me that way." "Goddamn power hungry bastard," whispered Lore. Gibson heard the remark, and giggled quietly. "WHAT was that?" asked Riker. "Lt. Yar, please remove the good commander from the bridge. Appropriate disciplinary action, please." As Lore began to retort, the beautiful lieutenant walked down the bridge, long blonde hair flowing to her shoulders, and the necklace of Klingon fangs tinkling. "Let's go, robot." "ROBOT? I gave you the best night of your life, you ingrate- ful...." With that, Riker hit the on/off button, and Lore slumped over. "He hates it when that happens," laughed Riker. Still chuck- ling, he walked back to the chair, and sat down. Lore's replacement sat down in ops, and Yar returned to her post, leaving the metal body lying on the floor. "Yar, open a channel to Picard," asked Riker. "Aye, sir," she smiled. "Channel open." "Picard, we're beaming you up now! Prepare for transport." Before the captain could reply, the channel was closed. "O'Brien,\ three to beam up. Energize." -------------------------------------------------------------------- Picard assembled his away team, and they took up beamup positions. Within moments, the tingly feeling of the transporter swept them up, and the scenery of the planet reverted to that of the Enterprise. As the transporter room appeared around them, Picard saw two security guards posted by the exit. Both were dressed in Starfleet-issue security uniforms, but both wore sashes across their chests, and black helmets on their heads. As Picard and the away team passed them, they both brought their right arms to their chests in a smart salute. "Hail to the Captain!" one cried. Picard contemplated the situation, and turned to Troi. And blinked. Troi was wearing a dagger at her waist, and a short black hairdo. The long locks were gone. In addition, the left side of her face bore a scar, which looked like a healing burn. Seeing shock on her face, he quickly scanned his own attire, only to find a similar sash, and a rapier at his side. "Captain!" cried Geordi. The two instantly whirled around to see Geordi with tears in his eyes. In his EYES! The familiar VISOR, worn by Geordi since they'd first met him, was gone. Geordi slowly peered at the chamber, taking in all of the sights. While Geordi was sightseeing, Picard turned to the two guards. Slowly and uncertainly, he raised his arm in a similar salute. Astonished looks came over their faces, and they happily snapped back to attention. Picard gestured to Geordi and Troi to follow him, and they took off to Picard's quarters. Once they got in, Picard turned to Troi. "Counselor, any impressions?" -- Bill Mackiewicz | "Data was available, I took him, we came!" sword@fish.bu.edu | -Commander Shelby, BoBW Department of Astronomy | Boston University | Let's hear it for fully functional androids!