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////////////////////||||||||||||||||||||\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ |||||||||||||||Trek Classic: The New Voyages?||||||||||||||||| \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\||||||||||||||||||||///////////////////// Kirk: Captain's Log Stardate: 987654^2.ln(765)....We are on our way to the Planet of Trifle, a peaceful world ruled by a lazy, self-serving, obnoxious, idiotic, stupid, lame.... Spock: Captain, the recorder *IS* on.... Kirk: ...lousy dressing, robot dependant....oh(Kirk blushes)..*Ahem* Anyway they report a terrible disaster has befallen them, and their leader, the Head Honcho, requests our presence..(Kirk sighs, and switches off the log recorder). Why do these backwater races always have to live in the bad side of the Galaxy??...I was having a perfectly good time on that planet..uh, whatever it was called... Sulu: Do you mean the one with the jello wrestlers, sir? Kirk: No... Chekov: The home of the vacationing Holo-porn stars?? Kirk: No... Spock: The one with that gorgeous, duotronic, multiprocessing, 1.8447 * 10^19 bit multiple processors, lovely, soothing multilingual keyed....(the whole bridge crew gawks at Spock, and he shuts up) Kirk: uhhhh.....No.... (McCoy comes stumbling onto the bridge) McCoy: Dammit Jim, I'm a Doctor not a.......oops(he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a script, leafs throught the pages for a moment mumbling to himself)...Ah here we are...Hi Jim! here's that stimulant you asked for... Kirk: SSSHHHHH!(makes a shushing motion)... McCoy: Now Jim, You really should stop those draining, vigorous late-night excercises with Yeoman Rand... (Sulu and Chekov nudge each other, grinning, Spock tweaks an eyebrow, Uhura turns away with a 'Hmmmph', and some unknown crewman servicing the bridge potty chuckles.) Kirk: (To the crewman) Mister, for that, you are going to go on the next landing party....Oh, and be sure to wear a red shirt so we can se you well. Uhura: Captain, urgent message from Trifle...They say things are getting worse, and they want to know if we can speeed things up a little! Kirk: Tell them to hold onto their horses and I'll do what I can, Uhura.(looks at buttons on the chair and after some deliberation picks a particularly pretty one) Kirk to Engineering.... Scotty: Aye sir, What can I be doin' fer ya... Kirk: Scotty, I need warp 9.5 immediately... Scotty: But sir, my poor bairns no canna take it, I can only gi'ya warp eight for now... Kirk: Scotty...should I send my Spock down there to help you, and show you how he can do everything on this ship... Scotty: Warp 9.5 comin' rigth up, sir(then more quietly) Lads this'll probably ruin the still in in intermix chamber #2(sobs are heard) Chekov: Keptin! Keptin! we are headed right towards some unidentified object of wery great size!!! (The really threatening, oh we're going to have a commercial break music is heard and the camera pans in on some crew member as they stare in horrer...) (Stay tuned for more adventures when I feel like typing more.....) Forgive the spelling errors...:-) ---- Colin Smiley :-) UUCP: ...!pur-ee!i.cc.purdue.edu!dlu

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