Here are some songs that were originally destined to go with the +quot;Unfinished Parody+q

Here are some songs that were originally destined to go with the "Unfinished Parody" I posted earlier. At your next party, fire up the Karaoke and go wild! :-) ------------------------------------------------------------------ "I'm Just the Counselor" ("I'm Just a Gigolo / I Ain't Got Nobody" David Lee Roth version) sung by Counselor Troi I'm just the counselor, they all say "Look at her!" The only thought that's in their heads. I read their little minds, as they stare at my behind, OOOH! Makes me turn red! There will come a day, when bustlines fall away, What will they say about me? When the end comes for her (that's Troi, the counselor), Ship goes on without me! I'm just a Betazoid, a wee bit paranoid, But I say justifiably. I try to act my best, but all they notice is my chest, OOOH! Sexually! There will come a day, when I won't look this way, What will they do about me? I know I'll be annoyed when they ditch the Betazoid, Ship goes on without me! 'Cause...Iiiii ain't got no purrrrrpose, no purpose now, The ship don't, don't need me, don't need me, don't need me. Iiiiiii'm pretty much worrrrthless, Won't some great writer, won't some great writer, Take a chance on usin' me, 'cuz I could be great... I could save the ship! Save the day! Save the plot! Save me some lines! I could do anything! I could say anything! Anything but-- <"Captain you shouldn't trust the Romulan commander." Oh, REALLY?!!> But, Iiiii ain't got no purrrrrpose, no purpose now, The ship don't, don't need me, don't need me, don't need me at all! [Instrumental section. Troi dances like a maniac, teasing Riker.] <"And I swear if my mother's on one more time, I'm going to scream!"> AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII ain't got no purrrrrpose, no purpose now, The ship don't, don't need me, don't need me, don't need me. Iiiiiii'm pretty much uuuuuuuuuseless, Won't some great writer, won't some great writer, Write a script about me, 'cuz I need the work... I could fall in love, lose my powers, have a baby, go insane, I could do anything! I could do anything! But, no! No! No! No! I! Ain't! Got! No! Purpose! No purpose... No purpose! No function! No reason! No rhyme! No purpose! Nobody writes about me! --------------------------------------------------------------------- "Holodeck" ("Love Shack") sung by Commander Riker, with Beverly and Troi providing backup [Scene: Riker in the Holodeck.] RIKER: [Simulations of Beverly and Troi in ridiculous wigs appear. The music starts.] RIKER: Well, I walk the hall and I get in the lift and say "Take me down to the GIRLS: Ho - lo - deeeeeck! BEV : Well, I'm headin' down that Enterprise walkway... GIRLS: Lookin' for the holodeck getaway Goin' to the holodeck RIKER: I ate too much, now I'm as big as a whale So I'm headin' on down to the holodeck I ate too much, now I weigh 240 But in here, I can be as lucky as Geordi! GIRLS: The holodeck is a little old place where Losers come together Holodeck, bayyyybeee The holodeck! That's where it's at! The holodeck! That's where it's at! RIKER: Bridge crew, I'm gonna be late! 'Cuz I've got a date! With the holodeck! TROI : It's just a silly little room With a bunch of yellow lines But when you run that program Everything turns out fine! BEV : Remember Moriarty? TROI : Remember Leah Brahms? BEV : Remember Minuette? TROI : And her simulated charms? GIRLS: The holodeck is a little old place where Losers come together Holodeck, bayyyybeee RIKER: Yeah, the holodeck bay-haybee GIRLS: The holodeck! That's where it's at! The holodeck! That's where it's at! RIKER: Grabbin' and a holdin' Tweakin' and a squeezin' Actin' like a pervert, holograms don't care! The whole deck shimmers! The whole deck shimmers! The whole deck shimmers when we get attacked and the power goes to the shields! GIRLS: Everyone gets mated, it's all simulated! RIKER: Folks try to call me but I don't answer! GIRLS: Everyone is jammin', we're all hologrammin'! RIKER: Funky holodeck! Funky ho-lo-deck! I ate too much, now I'm as big as a whale, and I can't get any tail! I ate too much, now I weigh 240 But in here, I can be as lucky as Geordi! GIRLS: The holodeck is a little old place where Losers come together Holodeck, bayyyybeee The holodeck! That's where it's at! The holodeck! That's where it's at! [Instrumental section. The women dance. Riker is paged by Picard.] PICARD: RIKER: [Nothing happens] [He walks to the door and hits it.] GIRLS: Bang bang bang on the door, baby! RIKER: GIRLS: Bang bang bang on the door, baby! RIKER: GIRLS: BANG BAAAAAAAAAANNNG! RIKER: Open the door!! GIRLS: BANG BAAAAAAAAAANNNG! RIKER: Open the door!! GIRLS: BANG BAAAAAAAAAANNNG! RIKER: Open the door!! GIRLS: BANG BAAAAAAAAAANNNG! RIKER: Riker to bridge! PICARD: You're what? RIKER: Captain! Uh, stuck sir. GIRLS: Holodeck, baby, holodeck! Holodeck, baby, holodeck! Holodeck, baby, holodeck! Holodeck, baby, holodeck! ------------------------------------------------------------------ "Kirk" ("Bad") sung by Admiral Kirk, with his bodyguards as backup You say Picard...is number one Well I just beg...to differ, son I've been Starfleet's...coolest dude Since all of you...ate baby food Warp 5, warp 5, Mr. Sulu, alright! My Enterprise...was not as large But next to it...your ship's a barge Perhaps my ship...couldn't split in two But there's more things...that it could do And the women all wore skirts, And the Klingons had no crests, We didn't have no android, Or a counselor with big breasts! When I was Kirk! I'm Kirk! (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) I'm Kirk, you know it! (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) 'Cuz I'm Kirk you know it, (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) you know it, come on! Don't you call me Kirok, Roykirk, J.R., 'cuz I'll tell you once again: I'm Kirk! Every week...I'd save a world Or failing that...I'd get the girl Computers were...my specialty They'd detonate...from hearing me Beaming down...was such a thrill We'd come in peace...but shoot to kill And the bridge was real noisy And we all wore baggy clothes My science guy had big ears Instead of a big nose! When I was Kirk! I'm Kirk! (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) I'm Kirk, you know it! (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) 'Cuz I'm Kirk you know it, (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) you know it, come on! And I swear that I'm not wearing a rug, and I'll tell you once again: I'm Kirk! If you see me comin' your way, Better give me breathin' space If you tease me 'bout my hairline I'll punch you in the face! Because I'm Kirk! I'm Kirk! (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) I'm Kirk, you know it! (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) 'Cuz I'm Kirk you know it, (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) you know it, come on! Got a hundred illegitimate kids, let me tell you once again: You know I'm Kirk! I'm Kirk! (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) I'm Kirk, you know it! (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) 'Cuz I'm Kirk you know it, (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) you know it, come on! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! (And it's NCC-1701, no letters at the end) You know I'm Kirk! I'm Kirk! (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) I'm Kirk, you know it! (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) 'Cuz I'm Kirk you know it, (Kirk, Kirk, James T. Kirk) you know it, come on! And the whole damn galaxy knows my name, let me tell you once again: I'M KIRK!! --------------------------------------------------------------------- "Klingons Just Wanna Bust Heads" ("Girls Just Wanna Have Fun") sung by Worf, in response to Wesley asking "Just what *do* Klingons do?" Some races...like drinkin' cafe And some prefer to sing along with Mel Torme But we Klingons come from much simpler thread! Oh, Klingons just wanna bust heads! Yeah, Klingons just wanna bust heads! There is nothin'...that makes me grin More than finding some poor sap and smashing all his teeth in We've been that way since we crawled from the mud! Yeah, Klingons just love to draw blood! Yeah, Klingons just wanna draw blood! They just wanna, they just wannaaaaa! They just wanna, they just wannaaaaa! Don't ask us to dance, or to sing choir hymns, 'Cuz Klingons would rather break limbs Yeah, Klingons just wanna break limbs! Klingons, they just...wanna break limbs! They just...wanna draw blood! They just...wanna bust heads! They just...wanna fight! Our idea...of good healthy sex Is throwin' chairs around and breakin' each other's necks You could say that we've got war on the brain! Oh, Klingons, we like to cause pain! Yeah, Klingons just wanna cause pain! They just wanna, they just wannaaaaa! They just wanna, they just wannaaaaa! Don't ask us to swim, or to be altar boys, 'Cuz Klingons would rather destroy! Yeah, Klingons just wanna destroy! They just wanna, they just wannaaaaa! They just wanna, they just wannaaaaa! ... --------------------------------------------------------------------- "U Can't Touch Us" ("U Can't Touch This") sung by everyone, unfortunately, only Picard's verses, the first and the last are written. My my my my Ship's the greatest In the fleet! Many have tried but we can't be beat! We're tough! Hard to kill! If the Borg couldn't beat us then no one ever will! I'm the Captain! And I'm hip! If I get in a jam I'll surrender the ship! You may think I'm too much! But I've got a crew that--U Can't Touch! [Verses for everyone else] Everytime you see us Our show is just so hot! In every week's ratings we're the top of the charts! Now why would we ever Stop doin' this When we can make a movie In just three years We're on across the nation From New York to L.A.! We're the Next Generation, yeah, the Next Generation, and we blow the rest away!! ---------- Ryan Mathews -- Internet : mathews@cs.buffalo.edu Bitnet : mathews@sunybcs UUCP : {apple,cornell,decwrl,harvard,rutgers,talcott,ucbvax,uunet}! cs.buffalo.edu!mathews