A Near Death Experience

It was the summer of 1964, my junior year in high school,
that I developed a Acute Ulcerated Colitis, I was admitted
to the hospital and for 4 weeks I couldn't hold any solid
food, I had lost 55 lbs. and was down to a mere 88 lbs. 

I had lost all will to live, at this time in my life and
because of the suffering that I had been thru, I just
didn't care to live, I thought death would bring relief. One
of the main causes of my diease and the reason it was so
acute was the doctors diagnosed it wrong, they thought I had
Lukeima.

When I finally started to wish that I was dead that night my
wish came true. It was about 7:00 pm and as I was laying in
the bed suffering, my mother sensed that something was
wrong, like she could tell my life forces were dissapating,
she came over to the bed and leaned down and ask what was
wrong, I told her to go sit down and not to worry that
everything was fine, I just needed to rest and be left
along, the last few days I didn't even want to be bothered
with visitors, like I just wanted to pass away in peace.

Anyway about thirty minutes later I felt real calm like I
knew that death was coming and it was going to be very
peaceful, this feeling was very comforting and believe me it
was the first time I felt good in over 2 months.

I closed my eyes and just waited for death. 

I am now going to try to explain the near death experience,
remember the following is a discription of events that is
very hard to discribe, because there are know words in the
English language for such events. Its like trying to
describe what the color of yellow smells like compared to
the color of blue.

As I layed there hoping for death as I stated a very calm
feeling came over me. The next thing I experienced was
leaving my body. I became a mist leaving at the base of my
neck. As the mist raised over my physical body I felt the
following sensations in this order.

First I realized that I was somehow now the mist and not in
the physical body laying beneath me.

Second, I felt very calm, good, great, no pain, a complete
pure comfort.

Third, I sensed that I could control my movements just by
will, I could see in any direction just by will. (in other
words as I was leaving my vision was 180 degrees up as I
floated above my other body I looked 180 degrees to the left
but if I wanted to see what was behind me as soon as I
thought to see I saw.

Fourth, my next sensation was one of slight fear, I wondered
if I left the room, could I make it back? where should I go?
do I wait? I noticed my mother as she sat on a chair at the
foot of my bed, she seemed worried. 

Now on with the journey:

It was at this point that I sensed a attraction from behind
me, at will without movement I changed direction of vision
and saw a small circle of light ( white light, but not
bright) It was somehow without force attracting me towards
it. As I willed to be closer I slowly moved toward it. This
light was in the corner of room at the ceiling. As I slowly
approached the light the circle got larger but never larger
than a basketball. When I got right up to the light it
opened like a iris of a eye when light is directed upon it.
I glanced inside not knowing if I should enter or not, ( I
had a slight fear that if I entered I couldn't return, but
then Again I didn't know what else to do. Inside looked like
what I think a tornado would look like if it was a white
one. I could sense that there was no danger in entering for
even though the cloud like form was revolving I knew there
were no forces (winds, or pulling gravities etc.) 

As I entered into this tunnel I could see a larger mist 
shape much brighter than the circle of light that first
attracted me. now you must realize when I say brighter it
wasn't bright like the sun, for to look at it was very
calming, it seemed to be pure engery without any force.
As I traveled thru the tunnel my hole life past before me
every incident that ever happen. Like I relived every
experience all over again. ( though there is no conception
of time during this entire journey I would think all this to
this point took maybe 1/2 second in earth time. When my
life's re-experiences were finised being re-enacted I
noticed that I was drawn more to the light at the end of the
tunnel. As I was progressing to the end where the white
light was I felt the urge to see what was happening behind
me. at will my sight was directed to the other end of the
tunnel and as I was moving the other end seemed to be
closing like the iris or pupil of the eye. It wasn't getting
smaller because I was moving away from it it was getting
smaller from closing ( the opening which I entered is what I
am referring to).  I then directed my attention to the
larger white mist at the other end of the tunnel, as I
approached it, it seemed to be more like a burning bush.
Then it communicated with me. It ask if I would like to
continue on or if I would like to go back to my other body.
(to live again). This was not done in a vocal way, but I
could feel the meaning of the communication like it was put
in me by teleaphy or something.

I was heisitant to make a decision, There was a fear, due to
my past life for when it was relived for me I realized that
my life on earth had not been spent without a large amount
of sin. But I also didn't want to go back to all the pain
and suffering that my earth life was providing for me. ( It
wasn't just the suffering in the hospital, At this time in
my life I never felt loved by anyone and I didn't really
have any reasons that looked promising for the future.

As I stood there trying to weight the consquences for my
decission, I was somehow directed to look again in the rear
of my being. ( "The other end of the tunnel ) as my
attention was gathered at that end of the tunnel, the
opening got larger so large that I could see the entire room
of the hospital it was at this point that my mother must
have felt my life was gone ( that I was dead ) because she
jumped out of her chair grabbed my neck ( physical body )
and started shaking me, crying please don't die, please
don't die, she just put her arms around me and if I wasn't
dead she would of smothered me then. As I sensed the pain of
my mother It was at that time that I made the choice to
return. ( one reason was it was the first sign of affection
that I had recieved in a long time). The instant that I made
that choice, I found myself hovering above my body and
re-entering. ( no account of a return trip thru the tunnel )
again re-entering at the base of my neck.

As I re-entered my body, I slowly opened my eyes, scared the
hell out of my mother, she jumped back, looked at me in
astonshiment then threw herself on me again. ( she weighted
over 200 lbs at the time ) and started crying with joy. I
told her not to worry that everything this time was really
alright and that I really needed some rest. Somehow she
could also tell because this time I could see the relief in
her eyes.

The next morning when I awoke I ordered a large breakfast,
three eggs, 4 toasts, 3 slices of bacon, milk, organge
juice, and a bannana. The nurse said that I couldn't have
these items that I was on a restricted diet. the night
before my experience I went into some kind of fever and they
thought that they were going to lose me then. I told her if
she didn't get me any food that I was going to walk out of
there, she laughed and said I didn't have the engery to get
out of bed, when I jumped out of bed and grabbed her arm, I
must have scared her to death. She said she was going to
call my doctor. The doctor stated that since nothing else
they did seemed to help my condition. ( I havn't held any
food solid or liquid in over two weeks ) for her to go ahead
that I probably wouldn't eat it anyway. As they delivered
the food, I gulped it down and ordered seconds. The bottom
line is that after my experience I was cured. I didn't have
any pain and I recuprated very fast. One nite as I was
roaming the halls ( about 3 days after my experience the
night nurse left her station, I pulled my charts and the
following notation was written. No more than two days to
live. this was noted the nite of my experience.

Conclusion:

When I had this experience there were no books on the
subject and I didn't know other people have had similiar
experiences. When the first book came out I read it and here
are some of the differences of mine.

1. some people have past relatives meet them at the time of
death. to guide them on their journey.

2. My case is the only one that I have read about were I was
given a choice.

The results of this experience:

1. I have no fear of death. It is the most beautiful
experience you can imangine.

2. I have a sixth sense that guides me in my life.

3. I have tried to live a more peaceful life.

YOU SHOULD NEVER FEEL SORROW BECAUSE OF A DEATH OF A LOVED
ONE. FOR THEY HAVE WENT TO A BETTER PLACE. I HAVE BEEN
THERE. ( OR AT LEAST AT THE GATE).

iT DIDN'T HELP MY SPELLING A BIT.