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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pirated Issue-Pirated Issue-Pirated Issue-Pirated Issue-Pirated Issue-Pirated Is -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _ /\ _ _ /\ _ / \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE / \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \ \_____/ () \_____/ MM MM 0 //0 0 //0 S E \_____/ () \_____/ / \ M M M M 0 // 0 0 // 0 SSSS EEEEE / \ / \__/ \ M M M 0// 0 0// 0 S E / \__/ \ /__________\ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE /__________\ DDDD RRRR OOOO PPPPP PPPPP IIIII N N GGGGG SSSSS D D R R O O P P P P I NN N G S D D RRRR O O PPPPP PPPPP I N N N G GGG SSSS D D R R O O P P I N NN G G S DDDD R R OOOO P P IIIII N N GGGG SSSSS A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE M00SE ILLUMINATI Issue #30| Disclaimer: The Editors will place almost anything | Nov 1, 1989 ---------- in this newsletter out of a frantic desire to fill --------------- the issue, so don't blame them for the quality or content of the submissions. Excepting those they may have written themselves, the enclosed items do not in any way represent the Editors' opinions. In fact, let's be real safe, and say that as far as this newsletter is concerned, they have no opinions at all. OK? ================================================================================ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **************************** EDITORIALS AND LETTERS **************************** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi! Bl00p to all, and all that rot. ;^) In case you are wondering why this is the Pirated Issue, it is because I, Patrick Salsbury, a.k.a. DangerM00se, a.k.a. WarM00se, have taken over the editorship of this here fine newsletter! It all began a week or so back, when I got this letter in the mail. Oh! I remember it so clearly! I was sitting with RiffM00se on some throw-pillows in my apartment, madly trying to learn how to play ILLUMINATI!, by Steve Jackson Games, when this message appeared on my screen.... **************************BEGIN MISTY DREAM SEQUENCE**************************** Date: Fri, 20 Oct 89 13:48 EDT From: "Running on coffee and willpower." Subject: Hi Pat... To: v291nhtp@UBVMS.BITNET Pat, let's say you happened to gain control of the most powerful literary propaganda newsletter in the world. One that, theoretically, was mailed out to a bunch of people on BITNET once a week. How good a job do you think you could do at revitalizing the not-so-ancient-but-extremely-powerful M00se Illuminati? If you catch my drift.... Later, Bill ***************************END MISTY DREAM SEQUENCE***************************** ...Yeah. It's still clear in my mind, as if I had just read it again. :) ANYWAY! There you have it. The M.I. was in a slumber, but I have come to awaken thee! (The WHAT? you might ask, to which I will deftly reply: "Don't be so damn literal!) In any event, this issue is coming from my own personal archives of weirdness, the bowels of my literary directories, and such. I only have enough stuff in there to make about 17 more issues of 'Droppings, so I suggest you all start submitting things real quick! Or else you'll suffer!... ;^) -Patrick Salsbury -DangerM00se -WarM00se -Etc. V291NHTP@UBVMS.BITNET -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ******************************* EVENTS AND NEWS ******************************** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What with the new location of M.D. Headquarters being in the lo-cal (diet permeates all of our society nowadays) of the UB GIGATHR0NG at the State University of NY at Buffalo, and seeing as I am the Bull M00se and FOUNDER of the UB *GIGA*THR0NG, and as *I* was the one who BROUGHT the word of THE GLORIOUS M00SE ILLUMINATI to ALL of the MILLIONS OF CHEERING MINIONS in **BUFFALO, NY** ...Ahem...Megalomania check!...Ah! That's better! :) Where was I? Oh yes! Being as we are now in Buffalo, we are going to make production of M.D. a group effort. (YOU HEAR THAT, GUYS? YOU'RE GONNA *HELP*! ;^) ) Thereby, I won't freak out of my gourd, and we may even actually get this beast up to a weekly status! Right now, I'm taking submissions & such. My address is above. Darkling M00se is going to handle the Chapter List. So any new chapters or changes should be reported to him. His address is: V123NKUX@UBVMS.BITNET - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - FLAG-BURNING! Yes, one of the other recent developments here at UB has been a VERY active discussion of the new bill against flag-burning. We have been discussing various means of protesting this bill. From an out-and-out burning, to the wearing of the flag, draped around us like our President did when he visited the flag factory while on the "Campaign Trail". This would be, in my opinion, more in line with the goal of the M.I. of confusing everyone. People couldn't call us un-American or non-patriotic, and they wouldn't really know how to react to a flag-wearer! :) We are considering trying to make this a national event. Getting m00ses and other similarly minded people (gak! are there OTHERS like us?) to organize through the Net and all wear flags on their campuses on the same day. Maybe one of our illustrious staff-reporters here at UB would like to make a report in the next issue? [Captain Devious, perhaps?] (That's a hint! :-) ) [Just got this from Devious today.] From: UBVMS::V061REGM "CAPTAIN DEVIOUS" 31-OCT-1989 11:01:06.95 Subj: protest update Description: flags'n'stuff FLAG BURNING STATUS REPORT The Flags: We're getting a bunch of little paper flags from a party store to burn. I'll find out how much they are, and whoever wants to can chip in. The set-up: I have yet to get in contact with the necessary groups. I'm checking P.S. today or tomorrow, and I'm hoping that Thom will get me the list of possible groups together. The date: The protest date is tentatively set back to Friday, 11/10. The figuring is that a) more people will be in Founder's on friday, and b) we probably won't get everything together till then. The hype: The press releases will be done by tomorrow. Send out by this friday at the latest. A copy will be posted here, on POLITICS, and wherever else i feel like putting them. I need help with flyers. The Group: This demonstration will be the kick-off of a new organization, the Thousand Points of Light. We will be a pro-rights discordian organization, affiliated with the Secret Society, and possibly the M-I, A.P.E., and the third church of Eris whatever. (guys, get back to me on this) The network: Kidd Vicious and the other S.S. members cross-country will be notified of these things, and great things will be afoot. Whoever is in charge of the M-I network should disperse info quickly, also. more later... CAPTAIN DEVIOUS! O + - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ANARCHY! We've been promoting anarchy here at UB, also. Having a nice, heated debate on our POLITICS bulletin board. (And I think we are winning!) Here are some things I posted: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The following is an excerpt from "Never Whistle While You're Pissing", by Hagbard Celine, as quoted in "The ILLUMINATUS! Trilogy", by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson. (pp. 622-624) DEFINITIONS AND DISTINCTIONS FREE MARKET: That condition of society in which all economic transactions result from voluntary choice without coercion. THE STATE: That institution which interferes with the Free Market through the direct exercise of coercion or the granting of privileges (backed by coercion). TAX: That form of coercion or interference with the Free Market in which the State collects tribute (the tax), allowing it to hire armed forces to practice coercion in defense of privilege, and also to engage in such wars, adventures, experiments, "reforms," etc., as it pleases, not at its own cost, but at the cost of "its" subjects. PRIVILEGE: From the latin /privi/, private, and /lege/, law. An advantage granted by the State and protected by its powers of coercion. A law for private benefit. USURY: That form of privilege or interference with the Free Market in which one State-supported group monopolizes the coinage and thereby takes tribute (interest), direct or indirect, on all or most economic transactions. LANDLORDISM: That form of privilege or interference with the Free Market in which one State-supported group "owns" the land and thereby takes tribute (rent) from those who live, work, or produce on the land. TARIFF: That form of privilege or interference with the Free Market in which commodities produced outside the State are not allowed to compete equally with those produced inside the State. CAPITALISM: That organization of society, incorporating elements of tax, usury, landlordism, and tariff, which thus denies the Free Market while pretending to exemplify it. CONSERVATISM: That school of capitalist philosophy which claims allegiance to the Free Market while actually supporting usury, landlordism, tariff, and sometimes taxation. LIBERALISM: That school of capitalist philosophy which attempts to correct the injustices of capitalism by adding new laws to the existing laws. Each time conservatives pass a law creating privilege, liberals pass another law modifying privilege, leading conservatives to pass a more subtle law recreating privilege, etc., until "everything not forbidden is compulsory" and "everything not compulsory is forbidden." SOCIALISM: The attempted abolition of all privilege by restoring power entirely to the coercive agent behind privilege, the State, thereby converting capitalist oligarchy into Statist monopoly. Whitewashing a wall by painting it black. ANARCHISM: That organization of society in which the Free Market operates freely, without taxes, usury, landlordism, tariffs, or other forms of coercion or privilege. RIGHT ANARCHISTS predict that in the Free Market people would voluntarily choose to compete more often than to cooperate. LEFT ANARCHISTS predict that in the Free Market people would voluntarily choose to cooperate more often than to compete. ******************************************************************************** Typed By Patrick G. Salsbury on Sat., October 28, 1989 ******************************************************************************** From: V291NHTP Date: 28-OCT-1989 22:01:43 Description: RE: Anarchy Definitions And there you have the definition of anarchy that I work by. When you look at it, it really isn't all that bad. Granted, we can't have it, given the current mentality of our society, but that may change someday. As I typed that in, I realized something rather profound. TRUE anarchists (not those fools who just go around spraypainting the "A"-in-a-circle anarchy symbol on walls because it's a trendy thing to do) are Global Citizens. They feel no fealty to any one nation, but rather think of all humans as equal. (Unless, of course, they feel slightly smug about being intelligent enough not to blindly follow a government like sheep. ;^) ) They can think in terms of an entire planet, whereas "subjects" are confined to thoughts of "us" and "them". What's more, the planet will never reach a state of true harmony with a unified, planetary government while people cling to ideas of patriotism and nationality. Therefore, I put forward the idea that TRUE anarchists are at a level of maturity where they respect each person's individuality and rights, and don't need the protective umbrella of a government to "keep them in line". They have "grown up" and are capable of acting as adults should. Perhaps, as I've hinted at, TRUE anarchy is somewhere down the road in the direction of Global Citizenry, where people don't need rules telling them what they can and cannot do, but they know how to "behave themselves" without threats of penalty. If that is the case, then anarchists are the next stage in human evolution, and are just a bit ahead of their time at the present. -Pat - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I met some m00ses over the summer at the Sterling Renaissance Faire in Sterling, NY. I met Lord Trelf, Half-Elf, Scamp (A Scamp-Sighting!), Gypsy-Lynx, and some others I've forgotten. (Sorry!) Maybe they will collaberate and write a story/thing about the meeting! (Boy! If you people aren't catching the hints I'm lobbing at you, you're worse off than I thought!) I'll add my bit when they submit it to me. :) -Pat (again) {Why do I get the feeling I'm talking to myself?} - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Oh, This is Halloween, as I write this bit. I realized the significance of this date, and thought, "maybe I should try to get it out a day early", but I've been having problems figuring out how to mail it out to all of you people, so it won't be there on Halloween. :-( (It's 10.27 pm EST, now, so I'm fairly certain of this. Hell! It may not even be out on the first! Maybe I'm just going to amuse myself with this, and never be able to mail it out! :-) -Pat - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 5.52 pm EST, Nov. 2nd. - I hate vague listservs that won't tell me what's wrong! But Bill Dickson finally figured it out! It just wanted ALL CAPITALS IN THE RETURN ADDRESS!!! Sheesh. What a stupid machine. Or is it me? :) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ***************************** FICTION AND POETRY ******************************* -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is from O.D.M00se. See that date? I TOLD you I had lotsa old stuff in my files! :) -Pat Description: Another forgetable post by a certain vogon poet/ltd From: V109MEN5 Date: 27-JAN-1988 ltd....the poem ltd and fisheggs ltd and dead sparrows ltd and jimmy hoffa ltd and the key grip from the making of the making of the filming of Jaws ltd and ford motor company green sausages - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Date: Wed, 11 Oct 89 23:56:00 EDT From: "L. Daniel York" Subject: *joke* Fish Spill at Exxon Sender: "Biosphere, ecology, Discussion List" From: UNHH::M_SANGILLO 11-OCT-1989 16:52:50.70 To: D_YORK Subj: Fish Spill Hits Exxon | | ALASKA PRESS INTERNATIONAL | | In a tragic accident at the Exxon corporate headquarters, the fish | truck Prince William Express slammed into the side of the main | building of the new corporate headquarters, spilling more than 20 | tons of dead herring, salmon, sea otters and various other wildlife | onto the pristine lawn of the Exxon complex. | | Skipper Joe Woodhead was passed out in the sleeper compartment of the | state-of-the art fish truck when the truck struck the clearly marked | building. "Bobo", the skipper's dog, had the wheel at the time of the | accident. Bobo, whose certification does not permit him to drive | on planet earth, was unavailable for comment, and confirmed sources | suggest he has a history of drug abuse. | | The skipper contends that he was not drunk at the time of the accident, | but when he realized the seriousness of the spill he ran out to a | local tavern and pounded down a half-dozen beers. Woodhead also | contends that he told Bobo to give him a "Bud Light" not a "hard right." | | The President of Prince William Express Co. said that they would assume | full responsibility for the spill and would submit a plan in about a | month on the proposed clean-up procedure. He also stated that they | ship over a million tons of seafood a year and that an accident like | this is just the price we have to pay to eat fish. | | When asked about clean-up equipment for such a spill, company | officials commented that a small pickup with a shovel in it was in | Gopher Spits, Iowa, but had a flat tire and therefore would be unable | to be dispatched to the scene. | | On the market side of things, fish prices will increase by 20% for all | species. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: V061REGM Date: 6-OCT-1989 09:53:38 Description: Secret Society Manifesto #1 SECRET SOCIETY MANIFESTO #1 --------------------------- BEING disgusted by the constant rip-offs being perpetrated by such infamous musical institutions such as Record Theatre, Camelot Records, etc., and BELIEVING that all music should be done for the sake of music alone, and not for any personal gain, monetary or otherwise, and BELIEVING that all people should be exposed to the maximum variety of music possible, and BELIEVING that all music should be available to the public in general, with no profit gained by any party, WE, the Secret Society hereby conspire to distribute all available music to any or all available persons by any means possible, and ALTHOUGH this may be in violation of the copyright laws of the United States and other nations, we propose to do this by transferring copyrighted material onto blank audio cassettes and distributing them to whomever desires them, and by bootlegging until we are busted. THESE practices shall hereby be known in our circles as the Secret Society Music Exchange ( SSME - pronounced "sesame" ) SO BE IT! (signed,) CAPTAIN DEVIOUS, HIGH PRIEST KIDD VICIOUS, MAGISTRATE p.s. If you wish to use the SSME, contact the Secret Society. If you don't know who we are, FIND OUT! O + -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *************************** M00SCELLANEOUS NONSENSE **************************** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I found this on Alt.Sex.Bestiality ( ;^) ) and just KNEW it belonged here! I've tried to contact this guy, and get his permission, but he hasn't responded yet. Chalk up another one for the Pirated Issue! I don't think this guy is a m00se, yet, but I think he belongs! :) -Pat - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - X-NEWS: ubvmsc alt.sex.bestiality: 9 Newsgroups: alt.sex.bestiality,alt.sex.bondage Subject: An alternative story From: sf1@rosemary.cs.reading.ac.uk (Fruitbat) Date: 24 Oct 89 09:55:41 GMT Organization: Comp. Sci. Dept., Reading Univ., UK. Keywords: Fruitbats, leather Summary: A kinky story Lines: 56 Daydreams of a kinky fruitbat - All rights reserved By Steven Fruitbat Foster Helped, hindered and exhausted by spo1: Inspiration, leather at 3am and Re: Altruism shugoffa: For being cute and talking about nymphs a lot whb1: 'You can't put THAT in your plan!!' nab1: The sunglasses say it all dwr1: Well, I HAD to educate him SOMEHOW nrp1: He'd moan if I didn't mention him potten@dec: 'A few ideas...' -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kinky lubricated leather studded necrophiliac fruitbats liberally smeared with mashed potato and tomato sauce, marinated at gas mark 4 and whipped severely with a rubber glove and a sticky thong that has been used by a band of nubile young wood nymphs glistening wetly in pools of sun drenched lubricant for purposes of extreme nymphomania with a group of pleasantly inebriated (and therefore uninhibited) elves practicing various forms of bondage hanging by thongs from a tree which is covered with thrash marks from a well-worn riding crop that has seen better days with more vital and effervescent water nymphs who alas perished one midsummers morning in the throes of extreme pleasure after experimenting wildly with a rubber hose and an air compressor that was covered with KY jelly and many other strange liquids, some of which occur naturally and others which were stolen by a helpful goblin from the local Tesco to pay the aforementioned water nymphs for some rather personal services that they rendered him one day and he doesn't really like to talk about, although unbeknowst to him there are some photos of the said occasion currently waiting to be collected in the local photo-processing shop eagerly awaited by the water nymphs so they can get some more jelly, or it would have been, if they hadn't all perished that midsummer morning but luckily leaving the riding crop behind for the benefit of the wood nymphs and the elves who are still drunken and are now entering a state of complete uninhibitedness which has caused even the tree to shut his eyes in shock which is unusual for a tree, as they are usually pretty thick barked, except, perhaps, this one, which has had most of the stuffing knocked out of it by the riding crop, which, although it has seen better days, is still capable of a good thrash, even though one end needs gluing and the other end is now angled at forty-five degrees, ie, thoroughly bent, which is what the casual observer would think the elves were, if he didn't look closely at the wood nymphs on the tree, who were doing stunningly odd things with paper clips that occur naturally, seeing wood nymphs don't get served in Tesco for reasons of hygiene, as they tend to drip various sticky substances over the meat counter, which doesn't really matter, except for the fact that species discrimination is very upsetting to various kinky necrophiliac fruitbats who only really want to be loved and played with very roughly with a riding crop. ----------------------------- Sent to you by ---------------------------- sf1@rosemary.cs.reading.ac.uk | WHERE IS ALT.FRUITBAT!!!!!!!!! foster%dec.jumbly@com.dec.decwrl@rl.earn | Is a homomorphism a gay lump jumbly::foster, pobble::foster | of plasticine? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 31 Oct 89 15:18 EDT From: "Good for your soul." Subject: Submission for M00se Droppings Ladies and Gentlemen, I do hereby pronounce Superguy Digest dead. Dangerousman has destroyed Washington, D.C., and with it all superheroes who were (A) at the convention, and (B) had no means of escape or protection (in other words, if you want your character to still be alive, make something up). All characters who have fallen into disuse are, therefore, dead. The only surviving character I know of is Dangerousman. The slate is clean. I hereby announce the beginning of: SUPERGUY II -- THE NEXT SEMESTER. If your old character survived, start writing again. If you have a new character, start writing. If you've never had a character, make one up and start writing. Let's get this thing back off the ground. Subscribers to this list will of course, be hearing the exploits of Dangerousman, as he flees the government that created him for destroying their home town. But who else will be here? Did Qwyntor throw up a force field? Is the Awesome Force still lurking around in western Connecticut? What of Trash Man, The Armadillo? Will Superm00se join in the fun? Is Flatphoot still alive? How about Punk With A Gun? Did the Stealth Beetle protect him? And what of Dangerousman's fiancee, the lovely Relativity Woman? And how about some new characters? Let's all hope something's going on out there.... Pickle -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ******************************* MEET THE M00SES ******************************** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't have any m00se ids.... :-( -Pat -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *************** AND, OF COURSE, THE UBIQUITOUS M00SE LIST UPDATE *************** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Will come once we get it all figured out. :) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pirated Issue-Pirated Issue-Pirated Issue-Pirated Issue-Pirated Issue-Pirated Is -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ******************************* This Is Line #500 ******************************


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