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THE OFFICIAL HISTORY OF THE M00SE ILLUMINATI (Updated July 12, 1990) ORIGINS In South Windsor High School, located in the suburban hell of South Windsor, Connecticut, in the school year of 1983-84, a junior named Christopher S. Phillips was greatly interested in m00ses. He believed that m00ses are not only some of the most peaceful animals in existence, but also far more intelligent than they are generally given credit for. Coincidentally -- or perhaps not -- a sophomore, William R. Dickson, had just finished reading the _Illuminatus!_ trilogy by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson. Greatly intrigued by the idea of secret conspiracies controlling the world, he talked about it constantly. Then, one day during a particularly dull geometry class, another junior named David s Tarr told Chris and Bill that it could be interesting to form a conspiracy whose goal would be to confuse the public by strange but relatively peaceful means. It could be called the M00se Illuminati. Putting their heads together, they worked out the hypothetical details. A symbol was invented, secret mystical synchronicity numbers were agreed upon, a secret signal was worked out, and a secret call was stolen from a comic strip. Suddenly, without warning, they were confronted by a senior, Mike Harm. He showed them a design he had worked out for a M00se Illuminati shirt. With a few modifications he was ready to mass-produce the shirts. Due to the creative efforts of this odd fellow, the M00se Illuminati had finally become a reality. Bill, Chris, Dave and Mike were joined by several of their friends, and soon after came the fateful day when the secret conspiracy revealed itself to the poor, sheep-like occupants of South Windsor High. It didn't take long for the established system to crumble, to be replaced by the sleek, modern power of the M00se Illuminati. A small rebellious group was formed, but it was ignored, and consequently short-lived. REFORMATIONS The first reformation of the M00se Illuminati occured in 1985, when the charter was transferred from a TI-99 word processor (printing on a silver scroll about 2" wide) to a $20,000 typesetting machine at the high school. A new shirt design was designed and produced. By the end of 1986, the M00se Illuminati had grown to a world-wide organization, with chapters in Norway, Japan, and Germany. By mid-1987, it had expanded still further, with a large throng at the University of Connecticut, a smaller one at the University of Hartford, and individual chapters scattered throughout the world. The organization fell into hard times then, slumping as members were scattered too thinly to maintain meaningful contact between each other. The "real world" pressed close; many chapters were now too busy to continue their work of furthering the causes and expansion of the M00se Illuminati. It began to look as if only a major discovery, or a miracle brought about by Leviam00se itself, could save the M00se Illuminati. The discovery was made, and the second reformation began. William Dickson, one of the original founders, was finally a freshman in college. By pure coincidence -- or perhaps not -- he was introduced to Bitnet, the intercollegiate computer network. The second reformation of the group came to pass then, when Bill send the information file of the M00se Illuminati to the Stony Brook Underground, a listserv list dedicated to the expansion of human knowledge. The information file suddenly seemed to have a life of its own; it found its way to every corner of the Net, and responses flooded in. The organization was suddenly much larger, consisting of approximately 50 chapters by the end of a month. In early 1988, this expansion triggered a negative response. Suddenly, without warning, a copy of the charter fell into the hands of the Grand People's Fascist Monarchy of Nebutu, also knows as "the Martins." A massive power struggle ensued, lasting for at least a fortnight. The M00se Illuminati was, of course, victorious, but in the interest of furthering confusion in the world, the Martins were allowed to maintain the self-delusion that they had won. The third reformation began June 1, 1988, when the Bill Dickson chapter started work on what was to become a (fairly) regular electronic newsletter: "M00SE DROPPINGS: A-M00se-ing Anecdotes and Illumination By and For the Pawns of the M00se Illuminati." Once again, the size of the group increased dramatically, reaching 100 Bitnet chapters by mid-December. In January 1989, the Bill Dickson chapter became unable to fulfill his duties as editor of "M00se Droppings." Two exemplary m00ses from Central Connecticut State University stepped in and took over at issue #21. In October 1989, Goblin and Salmon M00se, who were extremely busy, turned the editorship over to the Buffalo thr0ng, at the Bill Dickson chapter's suggestion. Pat Salsbury, AKA Warm00se, took over as chief editor at issue #30. THE PRESENT The M00se Illuminati is currently in the midst of its fourth reformation. In response to an increasing level of fascism on the part of the United States government, the Bill Dickson chapter became morally outraged. The Buffalo thr0ng was in a slump, so Bill took the reins of "M00se Droppings" back in hand with issue #41. He is attempting to introduce a political level to the group, without compromising the oddness, integrity, and (of course) intrigue that it originally possessed. Two major current projects are the establishment of contact with the hundreds of m00ses who do not have access to computer networks, and plans for a paper, snail-mail version of "M00se Droppings." Coupled with several minor projects, such as a M00se Illuminati dictionary and an official M00se Illuminati standardized system of measurement, the M00se Illuminati is experiencing a new period of vitality. Even with a major falloff in the number of cyberm00ses (due to summer vacation and graduations), we have over 170 chapters on the Net, with several more being added every day. This is truly a new renaissance for the M00se Illuminati, indicative of our ever-increasing power over the workings of the world. You now know our history and our present -- our future will be more glorious still. Pickle


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