 
                        --=== THE CHURCH OF ELVIS ===--



Preface and Preamble:

       "If there is any fixed star in our constitutional constellation,
        it is that NO official, high or petty, can prescribe what shall
        be orthodox in politics, nationalism, religion or other matters
        of opinion or force citizens to  confess by word or act their
        faith therein. If there ARE any circumstances  which permit an
        exception, they do not now occur to us."

        Ref: U.S.Supreme Court (1943) West Virginia State Board of
        Education v. Barnette, 319 US 624.




                      XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
                   "XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV,,.
                "/XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX",
              ,"XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  XXXXXXXXXXXXXX",
             ,"XXXX//        /X/    //////XXXXXXXXXXX",
           ,"XXXXXXX  XXXX   XXXX  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX"",
           XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX",
          XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX",
         /XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV,
        /"XXXXXXXXXXX X X   XXXXX  XX XX       XXXXXXXXXXXXXV,
        /"XXX X X X XXX X  X   XXX   X XX    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV,
        /"XXX X X X XXX X XX  X XX    XXXXX   XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV,
        /"XXX XX XX XXXX XXXX XX XX  XXXX    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV,
        /,XXXX XX X XX X X X XXX XX   XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV,
        //XXX  XXX X XXXX XX   X       XX X XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV,
        //XXX  XXX X XXXXX XX           XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV,
         /XX   XXX X XXXXXX XX           XXXX  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV
         /XX     XXXXX  XXX X             XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV
         /XX      XXXXX   XXX               XXX   XXXXXXXXXXXXXV,
        //XX       XXXXX    XX               XX   XXXXXXXXXXXXXV,
        //XX         XXXX    XX                X   XXXXXXXXXXXXV,
        //X            XXX    X                    XXXXXXXXXXXXXV
         /X              XX                         XXXXXXXXXXXXV
         /X                     ,,,,,XXXXXXX,,       XXXXXXXXXXXV
         /XXXXXXXXXX,         "XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX      XXXXXXXXXXXV
         /X"        ""                        ""     XXXXX    XXV
          H ,""""""""",,        ,"""""""""",,        XXXX    XXX
          "   ""   """ /          ""     ""          XXXX /  XX
          "      "    //                             XXX //  XX
          "           //                             XXX  /  XX
           "          //                            /XXX /  XX
           "          //                            /XXX    XX
           "         ///                            /XXX / XXX
           "        ///          ,,                /XXXXXXXXX
           "        //           /                /XXXXXXXXXX
            "         """  ""                    /XXXXXXXXX/  "
             ",       ,,,, ,,,,                                  ,
              "     ""IIII IIIIIIII"",               // /     /  "
               "       """"""""""""  "                //     /    "
                "      ,         ,"              // /     //       "
                "       "IIIWWIII"           //  // /      /     /  ",
                 "         """"            ///   / /      /    / /   ",
              //  "                      ////  // /     /       //    "
             //    "                    ////  / /    //         /    "",
           //   /   ",                  "// /  /    /         //       "
         //    /     ",               //////  /   //         //        "
        //      /      ",               // //    //         //        """
     //        / ""    "    "       ""///     /        //         "    "
    //        //  ""   ""         "/ /      /       //                 "
   //           ",  ","",       ","   /    //      //                  ""


                           ELVIS thinks you're NEAT!


  %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
  %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
  %%%                                                                %%%
  %%%        U N I V E R S A L      L I F E      C H U R C H         %%%
  %%%        International Headquarters * Modesto California         %%%
  %%%                                                                %%%
  %%%                                                                %%%
  %%%       It is hereby declared that     ELVIS ARON PRESLEY        %%%
  %%%                                                                %%%
  %%%       has been named          S A I N T            of the      %%%
  %%%                                                                %%%
  %%%       Universal Life Church this day of November 8, 1988       %%%
  %%%                                                                %%%
  %%%                                                                %%%
  %%%        U L C                                                   %%%
  %%%       S E A L        Signed: Kirby J. Hensley, D.D.            %%%
  %%%        I H Q                 President                         %%%
  %%%                                                                %%%
  %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
  %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%



   Upon duly submitted and approved petition to the International
   Headquarters of the Universal Life Church, Inc., Elvis Aron Presley
   was named Saint of the Universal Life Church in November, 1988.  The
   petition to the church read as follows:

         Elvis exhibited faith and hope when, as a youngster,
         he pursued his talent as an entertainer despite the
         odds against rising from his humble beginnings. He
         exhibited charity by his obvious and documented
         generosity. All of these attributes of character are
         believed to have been present to an extraordinary
         degree by his followers.



******************************************************************************

                          ECCLESIASTICAL PROCLAMATION


     WHEREAS the beliefs on matters of death and resurrection are
             especially promulgated during the weekend of the
             First Sunday after the first full moon after the
             Vernal Equinox, and

     WHEREAS these concepts are so closely tied by many in many
             churches to ancient ceremonies of fertility and
             symbolized by Bunnies and Eggs and other esoteric
             symbols of rebirth and new life, and

     WHEREAS the promise of eternal life was extended to everyone
             as far back as 1939 (or even earlier, to hear some
             tell it) and that possibility is recognized by lots
             of folks, and

     WHEREAS the Saturday prior to the Sunday mentioned above has
             heretofore remained generally unclaimed, unnamed, and
             uncelebrated, now,


     THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that the Saturday before the First
             Sunday after the first full moon after the Vernal
             Equinox be proclaimed and known as ELVIS SATURDAY
             from this day forward, and be celebrated by the
             faithful in joyous recognition of all Spring
             Festivals associated with rebirth and fertility with
             the eternal melodies of St. Elvis Aron Presley, who
             lives forever in the eternal present.




                Wherefore I have set my mark and caused to be
                affixed the seal of the Church of Elvis ULC
                on this 14th day of April, 1990.


                                Signed by the Bishop .
                                Saturday, April 14, 1990



 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------




                                THERE's MORE!!!


        The CHURCH OF ELVIS is a sect of the Universal Life Church and
                        is looking for new ministers.



                              ABOUT MINISTERHOOD

-- Is This For Real?

 Yes, it is.  The Universal Life Church will ordain anyone, for
life, no questions asked, and at no cost.  The ordination is legally
valid, and, after registering with local authorities, ULC Ministers
can legally perform weddings, funerals, baptisms, etc.


-- But I Have To Believe In Something Silly, Right?

 Nope.  The ULC doesn't impose ANY beliefs on it's Ministers or their
congregations.  Your god is OK.  Period.


-- Am I Making Any Promises?

 Only one.  A ULC Minister agrees to do what's "right".  You get to
interpret "right" to your satisfaction.  No one will call to ask for
money.  You're not joining a "cult."  You're welcome (encouraged!)
to continue practicing whatever faith you like.  ULC Ministers are also
Catholics, Episcopalians, Methodists, ELVIS Worshippers... you name it.


-- So How Do I Become Ordained?

 Easy.  Just fill out the simple form below, or call The Holy Cloakroom
BBS and go to the Sanctuary, then to the Altar and select [O]rdination.
Your info will be processed by CompuChurch (tm) International
Headquarters.  CompuChurch will file your request with the ULC, and you'll
receive your credentials within a coupla weeks.  It's free, but we could
use a buck and a stamp!


-- Still A Little Wary?

 There's more information on the ULC at any CompuChurch (tm) Chartered
BBS, from The Church of Elvis or from CompuChurch (tm) International
Headquarters, 1:3800/6 or call direct at (504) 927-4509.

BBSes are filled with ULC Ministers from all walks of life. Join us!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

* MAKE ME A MINISTER!

Yes, this all sounds wonderful. I want to be a minister, fully ordained and
authorized to do anything ministers usually do, and entitled to the privileges
and benefits extended to the clergy.

            Name:
                   ------------------------------------------------

         Address:
                   ------------------------------------------------

  City State Zip:
                   ------------------------------------------------


 I am enclosing a self-addressed stamped envelope to make life easier for you!

  SEND TO:
                                Church of Elvis
                          Archdiocese of Cyberspace 
		Diocese of Baton Rouge Universal Life Church
                                 P.O.Box 64575
                            Baton Rouge, LA  70896

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A Certified True Copy of the original certificate of Sainthood issued
    under the seal of the Church of Elvis ULC, and signed by the Pastor and
    the Prophet of Elvis is available, along with a copy of the Proclamation
    of Elvis Saturday, if requested, for a $5 donation payable to Universal
    Life Church sent to the address above.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* SPECIAL TITLES

 Special Titles are offered for a minimum donation of $5.00. Below is a list
of special titles currently being offered:

Bishop               Magus               Monsignor            Healing Minister
Missionary           Pastor General      Cardinal             Elder
Lama                 Apostle of Humility Right Reverend       Guru
Deacon               Flying Missionary   Archpriest           Preceptor
Colonel              Missionary Doctor   Sister               Soul Therapist
Archbishop           Evangelist          Friar                Metropolitan
Abbot                Thanatologist       Reverend Mother      Free Thinker
Arch Deacon          Hadji               Brahman              High Priest
Rabbi                Abbess              Parochial Educator   Scribe
Monk                 Priest              Religious Preacher   Cure
Universal Rabbi      Most Reverend       Preacher             Swami
Angel                Ascetic Gnostic     Dervish              Universal Rabbi
Brother              Mother Superior     Father               Chaplain
Anada                Abbe                Lay Sister           Archcardinal
Rector               Orthodox Monk       Druid                Starets
Reverend Father      Missionary of Music The Very Esteemed    Prophet
High Priestess       Minister of Music   Iman                 Shaman
Righteous Brother    Messenger           Mystical Philosopher
Universal Religious Philosopher
Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality

If you do not see the title you want, write us. New titles are approved every
day!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                          Special Title of Sainthood

Do you know a "Saint" personally?  Do you know someone who has exercised the
three theological virtues - faith, hope, and charity - to an extraordinary
degree?  If so you may bestow "Sainthood" within the ULC upon this beloved
person.  Merely write with your reasons for bestowing Sainthood upon the
individual and include a donation of $5.00.  The handsome certificate of
Sainthood will be sent directly to you, or you may have the degree sent to the
recipient.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------



                      Distributed by The Church of Elvis
                                      and
                  CompuChurch (tm) International Headquarters
                           Archdiocese of Cyberspace 
                                504-927-4509
                               FidoNet 1:3800/6

                       For Information, send S.A.S.E to:
                              The Church of Elvis
                                 P.O.Box 64575
                          Baton Rouge, LA 70896-4575


                        --=== THE CHURCH OF ELVIS ===--
