A Short Course in Comparative Religion: 
-------------------------------------- 
TAOISM........Shit happens.  
HINDUISM......This shit happened before.
CONFUCIANISM..Confucious say, "Shit happens". 
BUDDHISM......If shit happens, it isn't really shit.  
ZEN...........What is the sound of shit happening?
ISLAM.........If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESS...Knock, knock. "Shit Happens."
ATHEISM.......There is no shit.
AGNOSTICISM...I don't know whether shit happens.
PROTESTANTISM...Shit won't happen if I work harder.  
CATHOLICISM.....If shit happens, I deserved it.
JUDAISM.........Why does this shit always happen to me?
