Hate the holidays? Me too!

12DAYS.TXT TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS XX LETTER #1 MISS AGNES MCHOLSTEIN 69 CASH AVENUE BEAVER VALLEY, COLORADO DECEMBER 14, 1985 DEAREST JOHN: I WENT TO THE DOOR TODAY AND THE POSTPERSON DELIVERE
ALETTERF.TXT Ah, a letter from Santa!! I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year, and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to l
ANTI_VAL.DAY Date: Fri, 18 Feb 94 3:20:02 EST Subject: Anti Valentine's Day Party results In Canada and the US, St. Valentine's Day is used as a day to celebrate love, where lovers get together an
HANUK9.ANS No description yet
HATEDEER.TXT Ahhem. Sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nose Hatedeer. Ruldolf the Red Nose Hatedeer, had a very shinny nose. And if you ever saw it, Ruldolf would hose you with twin ouzies into y
HOLIDAY.TXT Modern American Guide to National Holidays Holiday: Hangover Day Date: January 1st Purpose: This day is used by many to recover from hangovers that were acquired as a result of exc
KILLSANT.TXT How to Kill Santa Claus Dead! by The Outland A Neon KnightsMetal Communications Release
MC~1.XMA It was the night before Christmas and all through Tec Square, Not a computer was stirring, even MC had a high "fair share". The tapes were hung on the machine with care, With hopes th
MERIDIAN.JOK Article 1545 of eunet.jokes: Subject: another forward from rec.humor.funny Date: 13 Dec 88 11:29:01 GMT Posted: Tue Dec 13 12:29:01 1988 Subject: Santa Clause has got a gun Keywords:
MERRY.JOK Article 254 of comp.sources.misc: Subject: v03i076: Just for fun (something which once appeared on the net) Date: 10 Jul 88 15:45:48 GMT Sender: allbery@ncoast.UUCP Approved: allbery@
NICHOLAS.TXT Article 19964 of rec.humor: Subject: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas Date: 17 Dec 88 23:34:08 GMT Sender: news@imagine.PAWL.RPI.EDU Found on a PC at NASA: A VISIT FROM ST. NICHOLAS F
NIGHT.HUM TWAS THE NOCTURNAL SEGMENT OF THE DIURNAL PERIOD Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual yuletide celebration. And throughout our place of residence, kin
NIGHTB4.TXT 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE INSTALLATION 'Twas the night before installation, And all through the shop, Not a program was working, It sure was a flop. The programmers hung by their tubes i
NITEB4~1.XMA 'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house, Things were real mellow... Even Irving, the Mouse. Our boots were hung up, The incense was lit, In hope that St. Nick Would
NORIEGA.TXT 'Twas the Night Before Christmas '89 in Panama Twas five days before Christmas when all through the land, fingers were itchy, and called for a stand. The C-41's were loaded with care,
OMNIXMAS.HUM LAST WORD 'Twas the Night Before Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through my home, Not a creature was stirring not even my clone. The test tubes were hung by the bur
PAGANCAR.SNG Ye Children All of Mother Earth (It came upon a midnight clear...) Ye children all of Mother Earth join hands and circle around To celebrate the Solstice night When our lost Lord is f
PC-XMAS.TXT A POLITICALLY CORRECT CHRISTMAS 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves
PC_CAROL.TXT To: All Msg #117, 091291 12:46cst Subject: PC-CAROLE THE POLITICALLY CORRECT CAROLE Deck the halls with boughs of non-endangered plant species Fa la la la la,
SANTA.ANS No description yet
SANTA.GUN Seen in rec.humor.funny: By Lore Shoberg, velcro@ucscb.ucsc.EDU SANTA CLAUS IS WEILDING A GUN (to the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town") Oh, you better watch out You better not
SANTA1.FUN ::: WHERE SANTA CAME FROM ::: Once upon a time, when the world was much younger, a very special child was born. He came to be known as Santa Claus, and he's loved and revered the worl
SANTA10.FUN TWELVE MAGICTRAGICMAGIC WORDS Far back in the almost forgotten lore of the elves is an exhaustive store of magicin olden times the elves were able to do all sorts of wondrous things w
SANTA11.FUN OOO GAMES ELVES PLAY OOO Elves are great game players. They can mess around with a single game for hours on end and never get tired. And they're always good sports. An elf never worri
SANTA12.FUN !!! ICE NYMPHS MEAN TROUBLE !!! The Ice Nymphs are furry little cc
SANTA13.FUN A CHATAN INTERVIEWA CHAT WITH SANTA CLAUS Q: Santa, why do you think you've grown to be the most famous man in the e
SANTA15.FUN ### WHY SANTA GIVES LUMPS OF COAL ### There once wa a little boy named George Greeley. George started out okay but somewhere he started to get the idea that he should be given anythin
SANTA2.FUN +++ Santa's Best-Kept Secret +++ Santa doesn't really want it that way, but Mrs. Santa is his best-kept secret. She's the one who makes things happen right up at the North Pole, and S
SANTA4.FUN Santa's Favorite Jokes....... Santa loves a good joke. He must he tells the same ones over and over again, time after time! Here are some of his favorites: I just got back from my yea
SANTA5.FUN WHY SANTA SAYS "HO! HO! HO!" In ancient China, Master Ho was the supreme artist of the martial arts. Over many years he perfected his skill, physically, intellectually, and ....vocall
SANTA6.FUN Santa's Clothes Prior to the 1680's, Santa wore anything that was warm. Some years his clothes were made up of reindeer hair and were brown; some years he w
SANTA7.FUN The MagicalMythicalMagical Pomegranate A Cristmas Story............... In the land north of the North Pole stands the Magic
SANTA8.FUN HOW THE ELVES FIRST MET SANTA..... Limlim the Hunter dwelt with his people in the farthest reaches of the Canadian forst. E
SANTA9.FUN Z E E K E R ' S FAVORITE STORY HERE'S A TRUE STORY TOLD BY ZEEKER THE ELFTHE GREATEST STORYTELLER IN THE WORLD! _
SANTA_M.AIL JEDCSH@MIT-MC 121781 04:12:42 Re: Season's Griefings To: SANTA at MIT-MC CC: CStacy at MIT-AI This was sent to SANTA on the CaltechBCC Timesharing VAX by Brett Garrett (random SICK fr
SANTA_MO.VES 15-Dec-84 23:20:47-EST,3587;000000000001 Date: Saturday, 24 November 1984 16:46-EST Sender: John R. Kender KENDER@COLUMBIA-20.ARPA Orig-To: BBOARD at COLUMBIA-20.ARPA Subject: The imp
SANTA~1.MOV 15-Dec-84 23:20:47-EST,3587;000000000001 Date: Saturday, 24 November 1984 16:46-EST Sender: John R. Kender KENDER@COLUMBIA-20.ARPA Orig-To: BBOARD at COLUMBIA-20.ARPA Subject: The imp
ST.WOZ From unknown@ucscb.UCSC.EDU Fri Dec 15 23:00:17 1989 Subject: A Visit from Saint Woz Since it's that time of year, it seems this is something worthy of a repost. As a small note to th
THE_WORM.TXT "The Worm Before Christmas" by Clement C. Morris (a.k.a. David Bradley, Betty Cheng, Hal Render, Greg Rogers, and Dan LaLiberte) Twas the night before finals, and all through the lab
TREE.ASC [2J ú~~~~+++ú+++~~~~ú M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S H A P P Y
UNIXXMAS.JOK AN ELECTRONIC CHRISTMASCHANUKAH CARD TO ALL Lyrics by Evan Leibovitch, code by Beverly Erlebacher Dedicated to anyone who's left their computers alone just long enough for them to sel
XMAS.TXT . . . . . . {Shedding True Light on Christmas Day} . . .
XMAS.VT Happy Holidays!#3[4;1H Happy Holidays!#4[5;22H[1;5mv[0m[6;21H[1;5m[0;1m[5m[0m [7;22H[8;21H[5mo[0m[9;20H [10;19H[4m[0m[1m~~[0m [4m[0m[11
XMAS1.TXT CHRISTMAS POEM: "I CAN HELP THE NEXT PERSON AT THIS REGISTER, PLEASE!" The mysteries of parallel parking, Afternoon of a failed species. Exhibit desires. See where it gets you. Hot-wi
XMAS12.JOK THE TWELVE DAYS AFTER CHRISTMAS The first day after Christmas My true love and I had a fight And so I chopped the pear tree down And burnt it, just for spite Then with a single cartri
XMAS2.TXT CHRISTMAS POEM: A SACRED MEDITATION "Oh God, make the day do something different! " This is the first prayer. At Easter the Christ rises out of the cake Wearing long, white gloves And
XMASTORY.TXT The Night Before Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the shed, All creatures were stirring, even Old Ed. The Bodies were hung from the rafters above, While Eddie
XMASWORM.JOK Article 308 of rec.humor.funny: From: bradley@m.cs.uiuc.edu (David K. Bradley) Subject: the worm before christmas Keywords: topical, computer, original, chuckle Date: 9 Dec 88 08:20:0
XMAS_TWE.LVE THE TWELVE COMPUTERIZED DAYS OF CHRISTMAS On the first day of Christmas, my computer gave to me A glitch on the video screen. On the second day of Christmas, my computer gave to me Tw
XMAS~1.TWE THE TWELVE COMPUTERIZED DAYS OF CHRISTMAS On the first day of Christmas, my computer gave to me A glitch on the video screen. On the second day of Christmas, my computer gave to me Tw
XMAS~1.WOR THE WORM BEFORE CHRISTMAS Twas the night before finals and all through the lab Not a student was sleeping, not even McNabb. Their projects were finished, completed with care In hopes
YUPIXMAS.TXT YUPPIE CHRISTMAS... by Keith Blanchard from The Princeton Tiger 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all thru' the condo, Not a creature was stirring whose car had known Bondo. The G