(288) Thu 27 Nov 97 5:03 By: Scott Taylor To: Mike Melia Re: pagan St: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @EID:59f4 237b2860 @REPLY: 1:320/118@Fidonet 47986fd7 @MSGID: 3:800/432.0 347d7dbe -=> Quoting Mike Melia to Richard Smith <=- Wotcha Fuckchops! MM> What is a pagan? A person who practices any of the myriad of pagan beliefs. MM> Do you worship goats? No, I don't even have sex with them MM> Do you believe in magic? Only Paul Daniels MM> How many gods do you have? As many as I need at any given time.... Usually none, but sometimes I encounter a sex goddess that I'd like to get to know. MM> Do you believe that the earth has magical properties? No, I believe it has magnetic properties. MM> Do you believe you can conjure up spirits? No, I drink them. MM> Do you have a crystal ball? No, I have a tv. MM> Do you believe in palm reading? Yours would be too hairy even if I did. MM> Do you believe in tarot cards? Believe in them? I've _seen_ them. MM> Do you have a magic wand? Like fairies? (Do ya Tinkerbell?) No, although I have a baseball bat I'd like to tap on your head. MM> What do you hold sacred? Alcohol, Rubber Chickens, Red Dwarf, LSD, Kilts, my tattoos, the writings of Anthony Burgess, Hunter S. Thompson and Robert Rankin. MM> What is the pagan theory of origins? There is no single pagan theory of origins as there is no one single pagan religion. MM> Do you wear a pentagram? No, underwear in more comfortable. MM> Do you fly on a broom? No, I fly QANTAS MM> Do you protect yourself with a magic circle before raising the "cone MM> of power?" No, I protect myself by closing the curtains before pulling a cone of good bud. MM> Do you feel like you're a freaking idiot? No, you're the one who thinks paganism is a single unified religion. MM> Tell us. I just did, fuckchops. MM> Do you have any evidence for your pagan beliefs? That the Universe is basically a demented and generally unpleasant place, especially the tiny speck that is infested with humans? Read some history books. MM> You are a hypocrite. How can you condemn Christians for believing in MM> a God that science can't evidence, when your own beliefs fall into that MM> category as well. Not all pagans have gods. Other pagans, like myself, don't take any deities seriously, whether we choose to believe in them, worship them or just accept the possibility of them. MM> Do you own an atheme? No. MM> How about a sword? I used to own a few, it was a matched set of a Dai-Katana, Katana, Wakazashi and tanto. MM> Do you anoint yourself with magic oils? (Maybe you better put some on MM> right now.) No. Do you smear your face with shit or does your mouth need a wipe? MM> Do you practice candle magic? No, I practice safe sex, and unlike you, I practice it with other people. MM> Are you going to hex me? Ha! You must really think you'd be worth the trouble of it if it were possible. MM> Have you hugged a tree today? No, it was too hot to go outside. MM> Have you hugged another man today? Why? Aren't xians allowed to hug other men? Scarred they might hug you back? MM> Are you preparing for yule? No, it is not a festival I observe. MM> How can you scoff at Xtian beliefs when yours are so much easier to MM> disbelieve? Let me see, I don't believe that the world had a global flood and then the water magickally disappeared. I don't believe that the entire human race was started by to people. I don't believe that people who don't believe in what I believe are going to be tormented for eternity. I don't believe that the execution of an anti-Roman terrorist and declared Heretic is the source of some supposed salvation. I don't believe that this same terrorist and heretic will come back to life thousands of years after his execution. Nor do I believe that there's some giant fucking pixie in the sky watching everything everyone does. Where as *I* believe that, divine agencies or not, people should do their best to lead fulfilling lives, try not to be arseholes to each other and most of all have fun. Now, just how are _you're_ beliefs so much better than mine? MM> At least ours is reasonable, and as cosmology points out, very MM> possible. WHen did cosmology point this out? Where does cosmology point this out? ... Religion - the science of denying Science. ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 [NR] --- Maximus 3.01 * Origin: < - Adelaide, Australia (08) 8351-7637 (3:800/432) SEEN-BY: 12/12 218/890 1001 270/101 353/250 396/1 3615/50 51 3804/180 @PATH: 800/432 1 106/2000 396/1 3615/50 218/1001