By: Karl Schneider To: Judith Bandsma JB> -=> Did I REALLY hear Frank Kuechmann say to Karl Schneider <=- FK> Actually [most surprising] some of them do have legit degrees from FK> respected schools -- Gish from UC Berkeley, Henry Morris from JB> But neither of them have degrees in fields that would lend credibility JB> to their 'work'. I can never remember which one, but one of them is a JB> hydraulic engineer. How in the world does a glorified plumber speak to JB> biology or cosmology? I've wondered about that...I only attended one University, and it had several engineering majors, but I *never* heard of 'hydraulic engineering'. Oh, I found this last night: Unofficial Oral Roberts University Course Catalogue [submitted by an anonymous reader] Oral Roberts University, Tulsa, Oklahoma Course Catalogue Enroll Now: Avoid the millenial rush! Campus Museum Special Collections: 16,754 Shards of the True Cross College of Arts and Humanities Art: Strategic Fig-Leaf Design for Classical Art Art Criticism: The NEA and Moral Degeneracy (Taught by Visiting Lecturer Jesse Helms Creative Writing: Tax Returns, Tract Writing, Biblical Interpretation Dance: No-Touch Square Dancing Economics: Tax Evasion, Wallet-Blessing English: Rough Drafts and Rewrites--The United States Constitution Foreign Languages: Speaking in Tongues History: The United States--A Christian Nation Military History: Armageddon Literature: Book Banning, Book Burning Journalism: Decrying the Liberal Media Elites, Lying with Statistics Mass Communications: Censorship Music: Record Burning, Playing Songs Backwards Mythology: Allah, Buddha, and All Them Other Wanne-Be's College of Business Administration Merchandising: Handing God Your Shopping List (Prof. Robert Tilton) Merchandising: Plastic Jesus Marketing: Tapping the Senior Citizen Market College of Design and Architecture Ecumenical Architecture: Amusement Park Design (Focus on Heritage USA) Residential Architecture: Late-Model Mobile Homes HVAC: Air-Conditioned Doghouses Fashion Design: Brown Polyester Suits 101, Coats of Many Colors Textile Design: Shroud-Making (Only Through ORU's Turin Branch) College of Education Education: Leading Prayer in the Public Schools, Winning School Board Seats Sex Education: Abstinence 101, Immaculate Conception, Onan, HOE 101 (Prof. Swaggart) Health and Physical Recreation: Holy Rolling Public Speaking: Instilling Fear and Guilt 101 Spelunking: Sepulchre Exploration College of Engineering Automotive Engineering: Handling Characteristics of Rolls-Royce and Mercedes-Benz Autos (Only for those in our Televangelism Program; all others must take Bumpers Stickers 101) Hydraulic Engineering: (Grant) Trying to Part the Red Sea Aviation Engineering: Black Helicopters and You Telecommunications: Speaking with the Lord Marine Transportation: Walking on Water College of Medicine Dermatology: The Mark of the Beast Medicine: Faith Healing Physiology: Living to be 969 Years Old Plastic Surgery: Facial Features and the Ark of the Covenant Surgery: The Lessons of Exodus 4:25 (What, you don't know this passage??? Read you Bible, you SECULAR HUMANIST!!!) Veterinary Sciences: Job's Ass College of Natural Resources and Agriculture Cuisine: Burnt Offerings Food Sciences: Loaves and Fishes Wildlife Management: Handling Revival Tent Crowds College of Sciences Physics: Seeing the Light Astronomy: Heliocentricity Biology: Creationism 101 Botany: (Research Grant) Trying to Recreate the Burning Bush Chemistry: The Eucharist--Wine to Blood Computer Science: Censorship Internet: TYPING IN ALL CAPS 101, ARROGANCE 354, IRRATIONALITY 257 Geology: Catastrophism, Brimstone, Pillars of Salt, Stoning Herpatology: Eve and the Serpent Ichtheolgy: Loaves and Fishes Math: Six Hundred, Three Score, and Six--Sign of the Beast Marine Studies: Baptism Marine Biology: Jonah's Whale Marine Biology: (Research Grant) Searching for the Seven-Headed Beast with Ten Horns, Ten Crowns, and a Name of Blasphemy on Its Heads Meteorology: God and the Whirlwind, Forty Years of Darkness Zoology: Snake Handling College of Social and Behavioral Sciences Abnormal Psychology: Atheists, Agnostics, Unitarians Criminal Psychology: Bill Clinton--Can the Anti-Christ be an American? Psychotherapy: Exorcism, Beheading (Only at our New Mexico Campus) Sociology: Social Darwinism (The Only Acceptable Form of Darwinism) Anthropology: Converting the Heathens, The Seven Tribes of Israel Archaeology: The Search for Noah's Ark, Debunking the Carbon Dating Myth Child Development: Indoctrination 101. Paddling 101 and Molestation 069 are taught by Prof. Koresh (currently on a sabattical in Hell) Family Studies: Preventing Victims of Incest from Having Abortions Foreign Policy: The Crusades Political Science: Speak Softly and Carry a Big Checkbook (Taught by visiting lecturer Ralph Reed), The Menace of the Trilateral Commission, One-Worldism and the Second Coming, Winning Seats in Congress, Portraying Yourself as Mainstream Criminal Justice: Shooting Baby-Killers (Prof. Paul Hill) Law: Tax Evasion Sentence Reductions (Prof. Bakker), Tax Exemption Public Administration: Theocracy Public Relations: Dealing with the Demoniacs (i.e. the Non-Christian Hordes), Knowing When to Cry (Taught by Prof. Tammy Faye Bakker and Prof. Swaggart) College of Studies Asian Studies: The Yellow Peril African-American Studies: Cross-Burning, Lynching Latino Studies: Fence Building 101 Religious Studies: The American Flag Women's Studies: Eve and Original Sin Graduate Programs Library Science: Managing a One-Book Library One-Year Programs Hair Styling: Long Hair--A Sin for All Men Except Christ Jesus Salon Training: Trowels and the Art of Make-Up (Prof. Tammy Faye Bakker) Travel and Tourism: Missionary Work Training Course: Firefighting: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego ROTC: Onward Christian Soldiers! Militia Forming Recreation Activies: Intramural Fund-Raising -!- þ OLX 2.2 þ Stupidity is no stranger to the true believer. * Origin: CompuMate - Tulsa, OK (918)663-3454 (1:170/300)