From: owner-HUMOR
To: Recipients of HUMOR digests
Subject: HUMOR Digest - 20 Apr 1994
Date: Thursday, April 21, 1994 12:00AM

There are 2 messages totalling 87 lines in this issue.

Topics of the day:

  1. More 'Match Game' Questions/Answers (Risque/Off Color)
  2. blondes

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date:    Wed, 20 Apr 1994 22:50:15 -0400
From:    Paul Robinson <PAUL@TDR.COM>
Subject: More 'Match Game' Questions/Answers (Risque/Off Color)

From: Paul Robinson <PAUL@TDR.COM>
Organization: Tansin A. Darcos & Company, Silver Spring, MD USA
-----
In the 1970s was a game called "The Match Game" which had some rather
humorous questions and sometimes wild answers.  Now here's your chance to
participate!  I'll keep these down to 60 lines or so.

Here's the latest "MATCH GAME" survey.  Now you get to see some answers
to some of the questions that were sent in.  I'd like to see more
responses and more questions.  Reply to me or <MATCH@TDR.COM>.  And thank
you to all of you who submitted questions or answers!

New Questions:

Tom is so horny...that if he BLANKS hard, he's "in the mood."
My girlfriend is so naughty...that when she goes to the zoo
  she tries to BLANK the animals.
Our college is so poor, that the meatloaf in the cafeteria
   is really BLANK.
Our college is so rich,...that they fill the swimming pool with BLANK.

Old Questions that need more responses or that I'm still taking responses
for:

I had to go to the bathroom so bad my BLANK was/were turning brown!
My girlfriend gets so jealous that her BLANK(s) turn green with envy.
My girlfriend was so excited...that she BLANKED me!
Sy Sperling was so bored...that he shaved off his BLANK.
I was walking through the airport the other day and I saw this beautiful
   woman getting her BLANK handled.
Joanna was voted in high school as Most Likely To BLANK
Sy Sperling was so bored...that he shaved off his BLANK.
My girlfriend was so excited...that she BLANKED me.
My girlfriend gets so jealous that her BLANK(s) turn green with envy.

Here are the items that got more than 6 responses (The answer I liked best
is shown at the end; in most cases I liked someone else's better!):

He's so old... He's so old even ________ is younger!
   his father, God, God's parents,  Dick Clark, Uncle Sam, George Burns,
   ZSA ZSA GABOR is (LOOKS) younger!,
   the crust on Joe Cocker's Tie Dye,  Moses, Father Time,
He's so old even DIRT is younger. (3 Times)

That guy is so evil that he lowers the moral standings at a ____ Convention.
   SATANIST, Crack Dealer's, ANARCHIST'S,  Internal Revenue Service,
   porno, K.K.K., Used car salesman,  lawyers,  game show host
That guy is so evil that he lowers the moral standings at a
Jeffrey Dahmer Fan Club Convention.

The Kutztown fire department is so poor... that all the firemen line up
in front of the fire and BLANK on it.
   blow on it,  spit on it (3 times),  pee on it (5 times).
The Kutztown fire department is so poor... that all the firemen line up
in front of the fire and lie on it.

---
Paul Robinson - Paul@TDR.COM
Voted "Largest Polluter of the (IETF) list" by Randy Bush <randy@psg.com>
-----
The following Automatic Fortune Cookie was selected only for this message:

Sung to the tune of Gary Wright's "Dream Weaver":
~Oooh, Cop Killer, I believe you can get me through the knife....~

------------------------------

Date:    Wed, 20 Apr 1994 22:22:11 CDT
From:    Jim Duffen <C527772@MIZZOU1.BITNET>
Subject: blondes

May be offensive to blondes.


How do you confuse a blond?

Give her some M&M's and tell her to alphabetize them.

Jim
Univ. of Missouri

------------------------------

End of HUMOR Digest - 20 Apr 1994
*********************************

