From: owner-HUMOR
To: Recipients of HUMOR digests
Subject: HUMOR Digest - 27 Apr 1994
Date: Thursday, April 28, 1994 12:04AM

There is one message totalling 50 lines in this issue.

Topics of the day:

  1. Groaner and a Fwd: Fwd: whale story

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Date:    Wed, 27 Apr 1994 22:26:51 -0600
From:    David_Watts@BAYLOR.EDU
Subject: Groaner and a Fwd: Fwd: whale story

Groaner:

There are three kinds of people in this world:  those who can count and those
who can't.

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> From: Greg Rozinsky <ST92LJZ1%DUVM.BITNET@uga.cc.uga.edu>
>
>   I am absolutely not making this incident up; in fact I have it all on
>   videotape. The tape is from a local TV news show in Oregon, which sent
>   a reporter out to cover the removal of a 45-foot, eight-ton dead whale
>   that washed up on the beach.  The responsibility for getting rid of
>   the carcass was placed upon the Oregon State Highway Division,
>   apparently on the theory that highways and whales are very similar in
>   the sense of being large objects.
>   So anyway, the highway engineers hit upon the plan - remember, I am
>   not making this up - of blowing up the whale with dynamite.  The
>   thinking here was that the whale would be blown into small pieces,
>   which would be eaten by sea gulls, and that would be that.  A textbook
>   whale removal plan.
>   So they moved the spectators back up the beach, put a half-ton of
>   dynamite next to the whale and set it off.  I am probably not guilty
>   of understatement when I say that what follows, on the videotape, is
>   the most wonderful event in the history of the universe.  First you
>   see the whale carcass disappear in a huge blast of smoke and flame.
>   The you hear the happy spectators shouting "Yayy! and "Whee!" Then,
>   suddenly, the crowd's tone changes.  You hear a new sound like
>   "splud".  You hear a woman's voice shouting "Here come pieces of ...
>   OH NO!"  Something smears the camera lens.
>   Later, the reporter explains:  "The humour of the entire situation
>   suddenly gave way to a run for survival of huge chunks of whale
>   blubber fell  everywhere."  One piece caved in the roof of a car parked
>   more than a quarter of a mile away.  Remaining on the beach were
>   several rotting whale sectors the size of condominium units.  There
>   were no sign of the sea gulls, who had no doubt permanently relocated in
>   Brazil.  This is a very sobering videotape.  Here at the institute we
>   watch it often, especially at parties.  But this is no time for
>   gaiety.  This is a time to get hold of the folks at the Oregon State
>   Highway division and ask them, when they get done cleaning up the
>   beaches, to give us an estimate on the US Capitol.

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End of HUMOR Digest - 27 Apr 1994
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