From: owner-humor
To: Multiple recipients of list HUMOR
Subject: Top Ten Lists for 4/6/94 and 4/7/94
Date: Friday, April 08, 1994 5:17PM

There was "minor problem" yesterday evening with the listproc, so here are
Wednesday's and Thursday's lists!

---> April 6, 1994 <---

==================================================
Top Ten Surprises In The Clinton's Old Tax Returns
==================================================

10. Socks spent over $1,000 a year in office supplies
 9. Lost $500,000 investing in specialty clothing store called "Big Bubba's"
 8. In 1978, under "Occupation", wrote "Ambitious Hillbilly"
 7. Claimed thighs as dependents
 6. From 1978-92, filed a W-2 with Gennifer Flowers
 5. Hillary made $100,000 from picking up discarded soda bottles
 4. President Clinton reported extra income wrestling under the name, "The
    Arkansas Fat Boy"
 3. Large donations to American French Fry Manufacturers Association
    (Dave had an animation of Clinton's head and a box of fries spinning
    around to the music from the film "2001")
 2. Took obscure deduction for brother Roger as a "mentally feeble house pet"
 1. President Clinton's real name...Susan

---> April 7, 1994 <---

=====================================
Top Ten Ways To Annoy An I.R.S. Agent
=====================================

10. Instead of I.R.S., pronounce it "IRS"
 9. Whenever he starts using his calculator, start yelling out a bunch of
    numbers
 8. Tape all your receipts up into a giant ball and then whip it at his head
 7. Pour a jar of honey on your W-2, let a bear loose in his office
 6. Be Leona Helmsley
 5. Tell him "You know who makes a lot of money?  That Oprah"
 4. Keep saying, "1040, good buddy!"
 3. Whenever he disallows a deduction, say "Oh, Mr. Gotti isn't going to like
    that..."
 2. List his wife under "Entertainment Expenses"
 1. Keep yelling "Hey, audit this!"

Brian Peek
peekb@gar.union.edu
Owner of the Late Show with David Letterman Top Ten List Listserv

