DRIVING LICENSES GALORE

 The following are samples of REAL answers on exams given by the
     California Department of Transportation's driving school.

    Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
            A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

  Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way
                     stop at the same time?
   A: The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker
              saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

  Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing
                           your car?
                   A: Always wear a condom.

        Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
                          A: Your car.

    Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
              A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys.

  Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk
                            driving?
             A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

   Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no
                      longer drive lawfully?
             A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

    Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being
                            passed?
      A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

  Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a
                   flashing yellow traffic light?
                         A: The color.

             Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
                     A: Heavy psychedelics.

     Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
                    A: Carry loaded weapons.

         Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
        A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.