An Italian Story

 INSTRUCTIONS FOR READING: Read in an Italian accent

 I am an Italiano.

 One day ima gonna LA to bigga hotel.  Ina morning I go down to eat
breakfast.  I tella waitress I wanna two pisses toast.  She brings me
only one piss.  I tella her I want two piss.  She say go to the toilet.
I say you no understand, I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you
better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch.  I don't even know the
lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

 Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant.  The waitress brings me a
spoon and knife but no fock.  I tella her I wanna fock.  She tell me
everyone wanna fock.  I tella her you no understand.  I wanna fock on
the table.  She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma
bitch.

 So I go back to my room ina hotel and there is no shits onna my bed.
Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit.  He tell me to go to
toilet.  I say you no understand.  I wanna shit on my bed.  He say you
better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I go to the checkout and
the man at the desk say: "Peace on you." I say piss on you too, you
sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy !

