YES VIRGINIA, THERE _ARE_ VAMPIRES!  (This is NOT a joke!)  
                                 
                        Elmhurst, NY - May 26 1986 
                                 
     Dr.Steven Kaplan, appearing on the AP Radio network program "Calling 
Ed Bush" last week, discussed his studies, partially funded by the US 
Government, of more than 300 self-admitted vampires.  Dr.Kaplan, director 
of the Vampire Research Center in Elmhurst, has published some of the 
results of his studies in a book entitled "Vampires Are...", and claims 
that there are "at least" 300 vampires in the continental US, most of them 
(wouldn't you know it!) in California, although some he interviewed worked 
as hookers in Baltimore, exchanging sexual favors for blood.  
     According to Dr.Kaplan, vampires live exceedingly long lives, some he 
interviewed claiming to be more than 125 years old, while appearing to be 
about 50.  Because of this, they tend not to develop long term 
relationships, and rarely marry or stay in one place very long.  They tend, 
he said, to work at many different trades in the course of their lives.  
"When you give blood for blood tests," said Dr.Kaplan, "you never know 
whether someone is drinking it in the next room...  you know, they always 
take more than is needed for the tests."                                 
     Unlike Count Dracula, modern vampires do not seem to pass on the 
"virus" of vampirism with their bite, nor do they need to kill their 
victims...  they require only a few ounces of human blood a day to feed 
their habits.  While the program was on, a rather reticent young man with 
a southern accent called for information on where one would go to get help,
as he ascribed to himself the symptoms of vampirism described by Dr.Kaplan, 
some of which are anxiety, paleness, and a "stalking bloodlust" when 
deprived of human blood.                                   
     In the course of the program (which this reporter heard tape-delayed, 
therefore could not put the question personally) nobody asked how the AIDS 
crisis has affected vampires.                               
     I do want to find out, and if you would like more information, or (if 
you are a vampire) help with your condition, write (as I plan to) Dr.Steven 
Kaplan at:  
                                 
     The Vampire Research Center
     PO Box 252
     Elmhurst, NY 11373
                                 
   Enclose a self-addressed stamped evelope with your letter and Dr. Kaplan 
will return literature he has prepared for those interested in vampirism.

  

tamped evelope with your letter and Dr. Kaplan 
will return literature he has pre