Individuals seeking to adopt often face that first visit by the home study social worker with tender egos and mounting anxiety. Hopefully, though, this article can help calm your fears and allay your anxiety. Armed with accurate information, you can face your home study experience with confidence and the excitement that should accompany the prospect of welcoming a child to your family.
The following sections will
describe typical information or
activities that will be requested
If you are married, there will be questions about your marriage. These may cover how you met, how long you dated before you married, how long you have been married, what attracted you to each other, what your spouse's strengths and weaknesses are, and the issues on which you agree and disagree in your marriage. Others may inquire how you make decisions, solve problems, settle arguments, communicate, express feelings, and show affection. If you were married before, there will be questions about that marriage. you are single, there will be questions about your social life and how you anticipate integrating a child into it. You might need to provide a copy of your birth certificate, your marriage license or certificate, and your divorce decree, if applicable.
In your statement you will probably describe your ordinary routines, such as your typical week day or weekend, your hobbies and interests, and your leisure time activities. You may also describe your plan for child care if you work outside the home. There will be questions that cover your experiences with children, relatives' children, neighbors, volunteer work, babysitting, teaching, or coaching. You might be asked some "What if" questions regarding discipline or other parenting issues.
You will probably be asked about your neighborhood: How friendly you are with your neighbors; What kind of people live nearby; is it a safe area? Why did you pick this neighborhood? Are you located conveniently to community resources, such as medical facilities, recreational facilities, shopping areas, and religious facilities. And you will be asked about religion, your level of religious practice, and what kind of religious upbringing (if any) you will give the child.
There may also be a section on specific adoption-related issues, including questions such as why do you want to adopt, what kind of child do you feel you can best parent and why, how will you tell the child he or she is adopted and when, what do you think of birth parents who make an adoption plan for their child, how will you handle relatives' and friends' questions about adoption, and can you really bond to a child not genetically related to you.
You may not know all these answers right away! Hopefully, the worker guiding you through the home study process will offer advice on describing these various topics.
References are generally used to get a complete picture of a family's application and an idea of their support network. Approval would rarely be denied on the grounds of a negative reference alone. However, if it were one of several negative factors, such as ill health, a questionable criminal record, and a poor work history, or if several of the references were negative, the agency may not approve the application.
You should pick as references people who know you the best. If possible, they should be individuals who have known you for several years, who have seen you in various kinds of situations, who have visited in your home and know of your interest in children, and who are also able to comment on your lifestyle. For instance, they should know what some of your hobbies and interests are. These kinds of references are the most useful and compelling to the social worker completing the home study.
An important point: the worker is not visiting your home to conduct a white glove inspection! He or she simply needs to see if the child will be entering into a safe and healthy environment and whether you have thought ahead as to how you are going to accommodate the new family member. There may be a requirement that you have a working smoke alarm (which is a good idea anyway) and an evacuation plan in case of an emergency. The latter is not something many people have, so you might want to develop one ahead of time. The worker will want to see the child's bedroom and all the other areas of the house or apartment, including the basement or back yard.
Some tips for the home visit: Do offer the worker a soft drink or a cup of coffee. That shows you are nurturing. Do have family photos around. That shows you are family oriented. Do not clean the whole place from top to bottom, unless that is the level of housekeeping you always maintain. A certain level of cleanliness is necessary, but "lived-in" family clutter is expected. Most social workers would worry that people living in a picture perfect home would have a difficult time adjusting to the clutter that a child brings to a household.
It is natural to be nervous! But most often the worker wants to work with you and approve you if you have gotten to the point of the home study. You are not expected to reveal every intimate detail of your life, nor are you expected to be perfect! In fact, perfection would probably raise eyebrows. It is much more important to be honest, be yourself, and present a true picture of your family history and family functioning. If you had a difficult childhood, experienced financial problems, quit a job in anger, or have some other "skeleton" in your closet that you think might disqualify you, chances are if you discuss it openly with the social worker it will not present a problem.
It would not be wise to be deceptive or dishonest or for the documents collected in the home study to expose an inconsistency in what you have presented about your family. This would betray the social worker's trust, which would harm your chances.
The social worker may ask the children (and you too) how they do in school, what their interests and hobbies are, what their friends are like, and how they get rewarded or disciplined for good or not-so-good behavior. But the emphasis will more likely be on how they see a new child fitting into the family and whether they are prepared to share you with a new sibling. A new sibling means sharing time, attention, television channel selection, the bathroom, the prized seat at the kitchen table, and the many other elements of family life on a daily basis.
Children's input is usually quite important in the overall assessment of a family's readiness to adopt a child. Their feelings need to be considered, and their reaction to the adoption needs to be generally positive. The social worker will want to make sure that a newly adopted child will be wanted and loved by everyone in the family from the start.
The duration of the home study will vary from agency to agency, depending on various factors, such as how many social workers are assigned to conduct home studies, what other duties they have, and how many other people applied to the agency at the same time as you. You can do a lot to expedite the process by filling out your paper work, scheduling your medical appointments, and gathering your documents.
A home study can take 6 months to a year to complete, especially if delays arise. Illness, vacation, or waiting for documentation to arrive from another state can prolong the home study. An average of 2 to 3 months is usual, not counting the time allotted to the group meetings.
The cost of the home study depends on which kind of agency or practitioner is conducting the study. A public agency (often your local Department of Social Services) does not usually charge a fee for a home study, since it is supported by Government funds. However, an occasional public agency may charge a modest home study fee. A private agency might charge from $500 to $2,000 for the home study, although it may charge no fees or charge lesser fees for home studies for children with special needs. For a non-special-needs child, the fee may cover an application fee and preplacement services, but be sure to confirm this. For locating a specific child and providing follow-up or postplacement services, you will usually be charged a separate fee. These services could possibly be performed by a second agency. Fees for these additional services could range from $2,500 to $18,000. Many agencies allow the fee to be paid in installments. Again, be sure to discuss this thoroughly so that there are no misunderstandings.
A certified social worker in private practice often conducts home studies for independent adoptions. Fees for these are probably in the same range as those for private agencies. Independent adoptions are not legal in all states.
Remember, even though an adoption home study may seem invasive or lengthy, it is conducted to prepare you for adoption and help you decide whether adoption is really for you. The regulations serve to protect the best interest of the child and to ensure he or she is placed in a loving, caring, healthy, and safe environment. Once you accept that premise, it often becomes a lot easier to complete what is required of you. After all, the reward of withstanding a short period of inconvenience is great: many years of happiness and fulfillment raising a child to maturity.
Good luck to you in your pursuit of a child through adoption and with your adoption home study. With perseverance and a good attitude, you are sure to leave your social worker with the feeling, "Yes, a child will be loved here; yes, a child is just what this home needs."
Written by Debra G. Smith, ACSW,
National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, 1990.
5640 Nicholson Lane, Suite 300
Rockville, MD 20852