[10] From: John Cortis 1/23/98 5:24PM (3038 bytes: 96 ln) To: Fred Rice Subject: Computer Jargon Version 2.1 ------------------------------- Message Contents ------------------------------- Computer Jargonese... Blamestorming - sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible. Beepilepsy - The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence. Cube Farm - an office filled with cubicles. Prairie Dogging - something loud happens in a cube farm, and heads start popping up over the walls to see what's going on. Idea Hamsters - people who always seem to be birthin' new ideas. Mouse Potato - the on-line generation's answer to the couch potato. CLAM (Career Limiting Amateur Move) - Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLAM. Ohnosecond - that minuscule fraction of time in which you realize you've just made a big stupid mistake. SITCOM - stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. Stress Puppy - a person who always seems to be stressed-out and whiny. Tourists - those who take training classes just to take a vacation from their jobs -- "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were tourists." Dilberted - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. World Wide Wait - The real meaning of WWW. CGI Joe - A hard-core CGI programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic toy. Glazing - Sleeping with your eyes open. Dead Tree Edition - The paper version of a publication. Open-Collar Workers - People who work at home or telecommute. Squirt The Bird - To transmit a signal up to a satellite. Cobweb Site - A dead web page that hasn't been updated for a long time. Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards. Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable geek. Adminisphere - Where all of the dumb decisions come from that are profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. Gray Matter - Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable and established. Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. Chainsaw Consultant - an outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands. 404 - someone who is clueless, from the error message "404 -- URL Not Found", meaning the requested document couldn't be located. "Don't bother asking him, he's 404." Brain Fart - An explosion of useful information.